Six Books That I WILL Conquer In 2017: The Classics (and Eragon)

Good afternoon, Cyberspace!

Now, there’s something about me that most of you probably don’t know, and that is that I have a very rare mental disease in which I cannot seem to finish anything I start.

I’m like Professor Calamitous from Jimmy Neutron. (Please tell me I’m not the only one who remembers Professor Calamitous)

Seriously, though.  It’s a problem.

And though this deadly disease is probably just laziness on my part rather than an actual mental problem, it still affects a very large part of my life: writing; any creative project ever; resolutions I make; plans; and yes, most devastatingly, my reading life.

Terrible. I know.

There used to be a time when I read nothing but books I’d already read. It was strange, sure, but I felt secure in knowing that I liked that particular book. There wasn’t anything in it that I would be uncomfortable reading. It was safe.

And then I decided I wanted to be a reckless daredevil and read books that I’d never read before, and suddenly my entire room is overflowing with books that I’ve either read, haven’t read, or started to read and then quit. And now, for the life of me, I cannot seem to finish any of the books I pick up.

And this is a problem.

Because I want to read. Not just read, but read a lot. I want to understand inside jokes with the paper pages and laugh my head off when no mortal knows what I’m talking about. I want to go to a library and scroll through the shelves mumbling ‘read it, read it, read it, hated it, read it, read it…’ in that particular order. I want to read to gain information on how to write.

I want to actually finish the books that have taken over my room. Especially the ones that haunt my dreams because of their daunting thickness and, yes, semi-snoreville plotlines and prose.

I could honestly fall asleep trying to read some of the books on this list. (*cougheragoncough*)

So today I am going to make a list of all the books I have started at one point or another in my life, and then put down because I grew bored with them.

And no, this is not just another list. This is a promise. A promise to actually finish these books that I have tried and failed to read. And in some instances, tried and failed to read multiple times. (*cougheragonagaincough*)

And so, without further ado, I present to you…

Six Books That I WILL Conquer in 2017: The Classics (and Eragon)

Number One– The Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of The Ring

Ah. The Fellowship of The Ring. A wonderful tale about four Hobbits as they travel through forests and fog and mountain plantations for 1/3 of the book with very little dialogue and a LOT of descriptive sentences and pages upon pages of describing the murky land stretching out beyond them.

I’m getting nauseous excited just thinking about it. Aren’t you?

I ‘ve tried to read Fellowship of The Ring quite a few times now, and each time I’ve gotten to pretty much the same spot and failed.

Tom Bombadil’s cabin.

A couple times I was able to push through and reach the Barrow Downs, and maybe once I actually arrived at the Prancing Pony.


That is, until now.

That’s right, doc. I have officially started my quest to conquer this gigantic beast, and I am hoping that this time, I will finally make it to the very last page. I’ve already made it to the Prancing Pony, and I’ve gained the help of a mysterious man called Strider.

I might even be able to finish the entire series this year. Who knows.

Number Two– Eragon

Surprise of all surprises, the girl who dreams of dragons roaming the skies is physically unable to finish what has to be one of the most popular dragon books in the history of dragon books.

However, in my defence, there is something about this series that is just so…blah.

I don’t even know what it is. Perhaps my brain has been surgically altered so that I physically cannot like one of the most popular/unpopular series in the world.

But I really want to like it. I really and truly do. So I have made it one of my life’s goals to complete this series. Or, at least, the first book. Because how can I call myself the Dragon Princess when I have not even read Eragon? (Turns out I can do this rather easily, but that is beside the point.)

I will conquer Eragon this year, and you can bet your buttons that I’m going to do a post about my experience while reading it.

Number Three– Pride and Prejudice

Well, well, well, what have we here? Another classic that I have tried to read on multiple occasions and miserably failed?

It’s nice to see you again.

Yes. I, Kenzie of Smudged Thoughts, have never finished Pride and Prejudice. I have tried. Believe me I have tried.

But have I finished it?


Of course not,

Do Darcy and Elizabeth get together eventually? I wouldn’t know. Darcy probably dies off in the end. Perhaps he falls ill after being bit by a rabid wildabeast on his way to propose to Elizabeth, and she never knows he even loved her because he keels over on the curbside and dies, only to be found three hours later by a nerve-wrecked Mrs. Bennet.

And by the way, which one is Pride, and which one is Prejudice? Is Darcy too prideful to even glance at Elizabeth, or is he too prejudiced against families of a lower standing? Is Elizabeth too prejudiced against men with high incomes, or is she too prideful to forgive him after he slighted her?

Ah, the perplexities of classic literature.

Number Four– The Hobbit

Okay, so this is actually a re-read, as I have technically finished this book before; however, with all this talk about The Lord of The Rings and whatnot, I’d really like to revisit The Hobbit.

Because Bilbo Baggins, am I right?

And let’s be honest for a second, shall we? If you suddenly found yourself in mortal peril, and you could only have one Hobbit come to your rescue, would you rather have A) Bilbo Baggins/burglar/dragon slayer (okay, so he didn’t technically slay the dragon himself, but still)/spider slaughterer/gollum outwitter/you get my point.

Or, would you rather have B) Frodo/”Oh no, the Ring Wraiths are near. Better put the Ring on!”/gets stabbed multiple times and acts like he’s dead only to jump up and be the hero because Oh joy! He was wearing mithril!/seriously, this dude’s a lame hero.

Anyway, I believe you understand my point here. I really want to relive the world of Bilbo Baggins, so I’m going to conquer The Hobbit again this year. Although, The Hobbit really isn’t all that huge or daunting compared to The Lord of The Rings, but still.

Number Five– Jane Eyre

Okay, so I actually haven’t tried to read this book before? But I’m going to add it in because

1. this list will look rather wimpy with only four books on it

And 2. I believe I have debated reading this book before, but didn’t just because I didn’t feel like it, so #fail.

Either way, this is another book that I am going to conquer this year, because, guess what? It’s yet another classic that I have failed to read! YAY!

But seriously, though. Are you noticing a pattern here? I am really bad at reading classics. Terrible at it actually. As the great Mark Twain once said,

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

And just so we’re all on the same page, I haven’t read any of Mark Twain’s work either. At least, not that I can recall.

But anyway, I love this quote so I’m using it to pretend like I have some intellect on the subject of classics.

Which I don’t, because, as I have already mentioned numerous times, I don’t read them.

And, last but not least,

Number Six– Alice In Wonderland/Through The Looking Glass

Yikes. I feel like a terrible, two-faced toad for admitting this one, but yes. I have never finished Alice In Wonderland.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I have read Alice In Wonderland, I believe, but I failed somewhere in the middle of Through The Looking Glass, and as my copy of Alice so kindly has them both bound in one cover, I feel as though I am a miserable failure to the whole book.

So I’m going to read and conquer the entire thing this year.

I’m actually pretty excited about this one because of the Cheshire Cat. I mean, he’s my absolute favorite character in the entire book, and there’s just something about his wittiness and slightly rude, arrogant remarks that make him a great character.

And  I am a HUGE fan of everything Alice In Wonderland, so I highly doubt reading the actual book is going to kill me, or bore me out of my mind (which is highly likely with the other books on this list [like Pride and Prejudice {or Eragon}])

Well, that’s all for today, Cyberspace! What are some of your reading goals for this year? Are there any books that you have tried to read in the past and failed? Have you ever conquered Eragon? Which Hobbit would you rather go on a journey with? Is Elizabeth Bennet Pride or Prejudice? Tell me all the bookish things in the comments below!

My apologies once again for the late post. Life has been a strange little lemon lately.


16 thoughts on “Six Books That I WILL Conquer In 2017: The Classics (and Eragon)

  1. I hear you! I haven’t gotten through The Hobbit, nor Pride and Prejudice yet, and have only skimmed Alice in Wonderland! Let’s do this together!


  2. THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. *FLAILS* That’s definitely the book I’ve reread the most over the years – I think five or six times? I grant you that it’s the absolute worst up until Rivendell, but once we get past the Council and the Fellowship leaves Rivendell it gets amazing. I promise :)

    ERAGON! Yeah, it’s pretty stereotypical and predictable at plenty of points. But once you get past book one, the writing becomes a lot better.

    I’m going to cheat and say I’d like most to go on adventure with Merry – half the time, he strikes me as being the only Hobbit member of the company who knows what he’s doing. XD

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my word!!! My hat is off to you for reading The Lord of The Rings so many times!!! How in the world did you do it??? Are you a magical unicorn creature with mystical powers??? Ah!! I think I am nearing Rivendell, so that is actually very comforting to hear, haha!

      Agh!!! It only gets better after book one??? Looks like I’m going to have to read the entire series… Yikes… What have I done???

      Oh yes, Merry is one of the best! I think Sam is probably the most hero-iest for me so far, but Merry seems much more wise. Pippin is just…well, he’s Pippin, so I love him, haha!


  3. Love this list!

    I understand what you mean about The Fellowship of the Ring. Honestly, the only way I got through the Fellowship and The Two Towers was to start where I left off instead of starting completely over? If I wanted to take a break and bang my head on another book, er, read another book, then that was ok. And two months later when I picked up Tolkien again, I’d just start where I left off.

    So I’ve never read Eragon either, and now I feel a little hypocritical because I’ve never considered reading it despite loving all things dragons? Might need to add this to my list too.

    I LOVE Pride and Prejudice! When I was in high school, I had this tradition to read it once every year. But yeah, I understand that it’s not something everyone likes. I love what you said about the who’s prideful and who’s prejudice. XD I think Austen left that as an open question for us readers? Or perhaps they both have a little of both?

    AAAAH! Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass are some of my favorites! I’ll skim through the books, like, three times a year or something. I just love the exaggerated pompous sass that everyone has when addressing each other. It’s great. XD

    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ooh! That is definitely some good advice. I’m currently juggling, like, five books right now, so if I get bored of one, I just flip over to another. It works pretty well, but sometimes I get confused as to where I left off, as I don’t necessarily always use a bookmark…. Oops…

      Oh!!! That is WONDERFUL!!! We can totally read it together and compare notes as to what we love/hate, bahahaha!! I’m slightly excited to read it, and also partially terrified…

      That tradition is pure awesomeness!!! I really really really want to love it. Hopefully the third times the charm, right? (I think this is my third time trying to read it…) Hopefully I like it, because if I don’t, I have no clue how I’ll manage to get through Jame Eyre, haha!

      Oh! Oh!!! Another Alice fan!!!! *squeals uncontrollably* I LOVE Alice!!!! And yesssss!!!! The sass is strong in that book. I’d honestly die if I could meet Lewis Carroll. Except that will never happen because he is dead… But still. I’d love to meet him. I wonder if he was as sassy in real life, haha!

      Aww!! Thank you!!!! :D


  4. No, Eragon is totally not that good. I think a ton of people are super impressed by it because it was written by a teenager, but, honestly…not that good.

    Thanks for stopping by Writing on a Vintage Typewriter!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah… That’s probably where all the hype comes from. I guess the concept is cool (DRAGONSSSS!!!!), but the outcome is a bit of a drag.

      Oh my word, of course! I love your blog!!! Thanks for coming to check out Smudged Thoughts!!! :)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m actually ENTIRELY with you on Eragon and LOTR.😜 Although I have like zero intentions of revisiting LOTR because omg I was so bored?! Dare I say it’s a circumstance where the movies are actually entirely better? 😂 I would, however, like to read The Hobbit at some point! And I think I’d actually like to finish Eragon but I don’t know if I’d read the whole series haha. (There’s so many and they are the size of small planets omg.) And ALICE IN WONDERLAND IS SO ABSURD AND PERFECT. TOTAL RECOMMEND!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my word, I am currently slugging through LOTR and I am bored out of my mind, as well! Although it sort of picked up a bit, so I’m hoping that the momentum lasts??? (I am doubtful of this…) And the Hobbit is actually (from what I remember, which isn’t much) really good! I’m not sure the boring level, but I think I enjoyed reading it… I can’t remember how long it took me though… But BILBO. He makes it all worth while, obviously, haha! And oh, yes, the movies are absolutely better. There’s no question about that. (I feel like I’m betraying the book community by saying that… Allow me to go throw my head in a paper bag.)

      Ugh, yes. I’m not sure if I’ll read the whole series, but seeing as though I have my very own copy of Brisingr, I feel obliged to…

      I am SOOOO excited for Alice!!!! EEK!!!


  6. The Fellowship – YOU GOT THIS, KENZIE! Seriously it is worth it, though! My only tip would be pick up where you leave off instead of starting over every time??? That was what I did the first time I read The Lord of the Rings (I got REALLY stuck in The Return of the King). I neeeever would have gotten through if I had started all over!

    Eragon – seriously the dumbest fantasy to ever disgust my fragile soul. Not worth the agony if you ask me. :)

    Pride and Prejudice – dude I love this book so much!!! Though I realize some people have trouble with it… This quote makes me laugh: “I understand you can learn a great deal of girldom by reading Pride and Prejudice, and I own a copy, but I have never read it. I tried. It was given to me by a girl with a little note inside that read: ‘What is in this book is the heart of a woman.’ I am sure the heart of a woman is pure and lovely, but the first chapter of said heart is hopelessly boring.” Anywho. Maybe try watching the movie??? I know that always gets me pumped about reading the book. I like the Keira Knightley one, made in 2005, though many people disagree with me. Also. She is prejudice, he is pride. Because he feels like he’s stooping to marry her and she decides she doesn’t like him before she even gets to know him.

    This comment is now the size of a small book. Perhaps you should add it to your list…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh yes, that is definitely what I’m going to try and do this time around. I’ve already swapped over to a different book for the time being, because I was on my way to snoozeville, and that was somewhere I didn’t want to go… Oops…

      Hahahahaha!!! Eragon is actually one of the books I’m most excited about reading, because A) I want to laugh at it, and B) I’VE TRIED TO READ THIS THING ABOUT A MILLION TIMES.

      Oh my word, that quote is epic! And honestly very true… Ooh! I want to see the movie with Keira Knightley! I’ve wanted to see it for a while now, but have never got around to it… Kinda like the book, haha! THE SECRET HAS FINALLY BEEN REVEALED!!!

      Oh no, I LOVE long comments! It means you have something to say about my posts, and that always makes me extremely happy!!! Thank you SO much for commenting!!!


  7. 1. I am going to try and tackle the first LoTR book this year as well. I’ve seen all the movies, but never made any progress on the books? It’s sad. (Although admittedly part of my issue is that I haven’t bothered to find a copy… I really should do that.)

    2. I used to absolutely adore Eragon and the rest of that series! I haven’t read any of them for… I think that it’s been four years? Something like that. I should probably re-read them and see what I think now. To be honest, I’m somewhat reluctant to, because I’m pretty sure I’ll be disappointed.

    3. I love Jane Austen!! I hope you enjoy Pride and Prejudice, if/when you read more of it. The 2005 movie is pretty great, so I also recommend that.

    5. It took me an entire year to read Jane Eyre! (I mean, I only read it when I was supposed to be asleep but couldn’t sleep, although that was a bad call because it does get, ah, creepy. Still, though. It’s looong. [Don’t read it in the middle of the night.]) I would have enjoyed the book way more if Mr. Rochester was different and, well, less creepy? (I think that’s the word. It’s been a year since I read it, and I can’t remember all the specifics, so that could be the wrong word.) (Excuse all of my parentheses. I’m a tired creature right now.)

    Great list of books, and good luck reading them!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah!!!! A fellow LoTR book newbie!! I’m sure you could find a copy at a library. I think it’s one of the seven deadly sins for a library not to stock J.R.R. Tolkien. At least you have a good excuse as to why you haven’t read it, though. I’ve had my copy for nearly a year now… Oops. But I absolutely LOVE the movies. They are fantastic!

      Ooh… That doesn’t sound very promising for me, haha! Hopefully it’s not too awfully bad. I’m a little nervous about how boring it might turn out to be, but I’m hoping that it’s actually a book that I’ll enjoy reading. Or, at the very least, enjoy laughing at!

      I love Jane Austen, too! (Even though I haven’t really finished any of her works??) It’s more her life that inspires me. She never had a husband, and despite all odds against her, she lived by her pen. Her story is one that inspires me to write, no matter how difficult or hard it is.

      Oh dear!!! Now I’m a little nervous to read this book, haha! I shall take your word of advice and refrain from reading it in the middle of the night. Or, you know, I won’t, because I enjoy reading scary stories late at night with howling rain and rattling tree branches against the window panes. Although I’m not sure if you mean Jane Eyre is going to be a scary-creepy, or just a creepy-creepy… I’m hoping for the former??? (And I personally love using parentheses. You may use as many as you like here. [seriously, I use them all the time…])

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, I should go to the library… I haven’t been in a while, but there’s no good reason why. (I totally agree, they’re amazing!)

        I don’t think it’ll be awfully bad, I’m just not sure in general… The main reason that I don’t think I’ll like it as much is because I’ve read some super amazing books since then, and the sorts of books I read have also changed. (Only slightly. But like I said, it’s been a while?)

        That’s true! She had a really interesting life, along with what she did being unusual for the time.

        Aww, it’s not too bad? It’s sort of half scary-creepy and half creepy-creepy, I think. It’s been a while since I read it, though, so I may not be the most accurate judge. (Basically, mysterious [spoiler] does [spoiler] and it’s not terrifying, just… creepy.) (Yay!! The only sad thing about using parentheses a lot is that parentheses-within-parentheses don’t really work while writing… :( )

        Liked by 1 person

        • I know, right? I really need to just get outside and walk uptown. Although the weather here has been really mean lately, so I think I might wait on that, lol!

          Oh, I can totally relate to that! It’s been rather difficult for me to actually get into a book ever since I read The Lunar Chronicles, because that was like, the most epic series I’ve read in a long time.

          Yeah!!! I want to live an unusual life, as well! I find it adds a certain spice to life, haha!

          Ooh! Now I am all the intrigue… And also slightly worried, lol! Oh well. I guess I’ll just see how it goes…

          Oh darn… That’s true… :(


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