everlost: In Which I Tell You A Thing

Good afternoon, Cyberspace!

You know, someday I shall look back upon my blogging career and wonder, “What in the world was I thinking when I wrote the titles of my Smudges?

But alas, that is not this day.


I mean, let’s be honest for a moment here, Cyberspace. Writing a title is risky business. Especially when said title has the ability to give away a spoiler before someone even opens up the Smudge.

And who wants that?

“Oh look! They (INSERT SPOILER). Jolly good for them.”


And then, before you even realize it, you’ve just lost a reader. A reader who could have fallen in love with your blog and followed you and commented to give you free cookies.

And all of this pain and heartache because of a lame title that spoils the Smudge.

Suffice to say, I shall not be accurately titling my posts for a loooooooooong time to come, so you better just be happy that I title these things at all and don’t just put, “KENZIE YELLS AT THE WORLD. PLEASE READ.”

So, really, you should be thanking me for dragging you in here.

welcome to the swirling void of cookies and insanity. we welcome you with open arms. and cookies. and also insanity.

But anyway! Before I get way off topic (too late), I have some very exciting news to share with all of you!

Can you guess what it is? Can you? Can you?

Can you???

Well, fear not, dearest bean, for I am here to bestow upon you the beautiful news that–

I, the Smudgiest Thought, have officially completed the First Draft 2.0 of everlost.

*people crying*

*fans cheering*

*babies clapping*

*cookies dancing*

*one man screaming*

Alright, everyone. Calm down, calm down. My wondrous accomplishment isn’t that amazing. I mean, it’s not like I’ve been saying that I’ve NEARLY REACHED THE END OF THIS DRAFT for the past three months, right?

Oh wait.

But all of that beefaroni is behind us now, because I can officially come to you at long last and say-


(of course, there was that one time when I wrote that dragon book, but we’re just going to ignore that for right now…)

It is a terrible book, to be sure. There’s plot-holes and character problems, my villain happens to be a potato, and I’m still not exactly sure where in this strange fictional world they actually are…

But I have physically managed to stick with a story idea and complete it, which is enough of a miracle in itself that the angels came down and started crying cotton candy tears while singing the Hallelujah chorus.

At long, long last I have typed the blessed words, The End, forgot to back up the manuscript, and then immediately realized that–

–I have absolutely no clue what I’m going to do for Camp NaNoWriMo now.

World-building? Character development? Making my villain more of a relatable plum than a chubby potato? Plotting out the second novel in the dualogy??? Procrastinate because I’m terrified of editing??????


But seriously. I know not what to do with my life.

I know not what life outside of writing a first draft actually is.

I mean, I realize that I’m not completely done with this story (obviously), but that does not alleviate the strange sense of absolute confuzzle that has gripped my noggin.

I thought that finishing this First Draft 2.0 would make me super hyper and bouncing off the walls and throwing ALL of the cookies into the air, but in all actuality I’m just staring at the closed laptop, munching numbly on all of the cookies as I ponder the meaning of noses and what the color blue smells like and what are these things called human beings trying to talk to me???

Also, for anyone wondering, there is this thing called life that occurs around us while we’re frizzling our eyeballs out from staring at computer screens and notebooks.

And it is terrifying.

But I have finished the first draft of a book, and I currently feel quite unstoppable (as well as utterly bored out of my mind and confused and slightly heartbroken that my smol children have decided they are done running around on the page, and now want me to actually develop their character arcs [I mean, seriously, guys, you think I know what a character arc is supposed to look like???? The only arches I know are the Golden Arches, and I don’t believe you want your development to look like large fry and a chocolate shake, sir.]) And finishing my little First Draft 2.0 was one of the most fun and amazing feelings I’ve ever experienced.

Especially since it took place at 1 A.M.

In the dark.

Lying hunched on the bottom bunk of a bunk-bed to the point where I’m most definitely going to have back problems when I’m eighty-three.

With the laptop screen searing into my eyeballs.

And since I never could have done this by myself, I have compiled a list of all the people and inanimate objects that I’d like to take a moment to thank, and who have made this first draft possible…

(of course I’m not going over the top here, what are you talking about)

So, without further ado, I present to you–

~I Thank Thee~

To My Beautiful, Amazingly Talented Mom– You have instilled in me my passion for creativity. Without you, I never would have finished this draft, let alone a single page. You are my constant inspiration and role model, my forever and always first beta reader, and you’re always willing to listen to me prattle on about plot holes and character problems, even though what I’m saying makes pretty much no sense whatsoever to either of us. For all of this and so much more, I thank thee…

To Scrivener– For being the ultimate writer’s paradise, and also proving to me that you know nothing of the English dictionary, I thank thee…

To My Ridiculously Creative Sister– For helping me realize that Jacin was kind of a lame name for a villain, and (unwittingly though it might have been) helping me craft a villain that I’m totally in love with now, I thank thee…

To My Favorite Brother– For listening to me ramble on and on about complete and utter nonsense while trying to figure out how to make a scene work until I finally have a genius breakthrough (sort of like that one scene where Willie Wonka is talking to his psychiatrist Oompa Loompa), I thank thee…

To Malwarebytes– For quarantining Scrivener when I had ONE LAST SCENE TO WRITE because you thought it was hazardous to the laptop’s health and helping me realize what a mental breakdown truly feels like, I thank thee…

To My Hilarious Dad– For always asking me how Camp NaNoWriMo is going and keeping me motivated to stay on track so I don’t have to hide behind a pillow every night to cover my face of shame, and also for fixing the Malwarebytes Fiasco because #WAT???, I thank thee…

To The Lemony Tea of Death– For helping me realize that tea is just not my thing, I thank thee…

To Kate Marie, Anna R., and JethanFor staying up until one in the morning with me while I finished this first draft; for throwing giant singing cookies and talking about ALL OF THE THINGS when it comes to drafting, worldbuilding, cookies, and stories in general; and for being the best cabin-mates/bloggy buddies/writer pals I could ever ask for, I thank thee…

To My Bunk-Bed– For ensuring that I will have a hunchback in the near future, I thank thee…

To My Toes– For always catching onto the things I thought you’d miss, I thank thee…

And lastly–

To The Alternate Key That Sporadically Popped Off The Computer– For not popping off when I was finishing my draft, and waiting until I wrote this blog post to freak me out, I thank thee…


*sniff sniff*

That was truly bizarre touching…

It is such a strange feeling to have finished a first draft, Cyberspace. It’s almost sad.

But so, SO exciting, because now I can work on making it better. I can build up my characters and paint the scenery. I can carve mountains out of nothing and work on developing the island world my story is set in (that I have absolutely no clue whatsoever about).

And you might be thinking, “But Kenzie… You just finished the first draft! Shouldn’t you–you know–let some beta readers read it before you start chopping it up and making all these drastic changes? (#hinthint)”

And to that I say a resounding, “NO.”

Because–as my mom most excellently put it–right now I have the bones of the story. It’s a skeleton (like Jack the Pumpkin King), and it’s all glowing white and rattly. It needs some fleshing out before anyone can read it. I need to add on the ligaments and muscle tissue, and perhaps a few bottom layers of skin so that it’s not so raw and scabby before I hand it out to my betas.

But the thing is, I’m not upset that I’m not finished yet. Writing a book takes a long time, and though past me was flitty flighty and could never stick with a writing project for more than two days, present me happens to be a little more stable.

not really

I am ready to take this book to the next level. I am ready to put the time and effort in to make this the best book it can possibly be. I am ready to build up my characters, and dive deep into their pasts to make them as complex and beautiful as they truly are.

The first draft is done. The second draft is here.

And I am ready.

I AM SO EXCITED, CYBERSPACE!!! I actually finished the First Draft 2.0. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I ever would, but I did, and now I’m stranded in the strange mystical glop that is the space between a first draft and a second draft. Have any of you been here before? Are you finishing up your first draft? Just starting one? Have you ever done extreme character development, because I surely haven’t… Let us talk about all of the writing and Camp NaNoWriMo things down below!

And don’t forget the COOKIES! There shall be COOKIES FOR ALL TODAY! *throws all the cookies in the air and disappears*




22 thoughts on “everlost: In Which I Tell You A Thing

  1. Congratulations, Kenzie! I think I speak for the writers’ community when I say that I am so proud of you!! You deserve all the happiness that the finishing of a first draft begins! *throws cookies joyfully*

    To be quite honest though I made mini muffins this morning, they were amazing, and if it wasn’t for that little inconvenient thing called “we’ve only ever communicated through the Internet” I would give you some of those too. They go wonderfully with hot chocolate, but not so well with tea, haha.

    I’m avoiding the subject – Camp Nano. Let’s just say, as of this morning, computer=crashed, outline+a week of work=gone, me=sad. I have so much to catch up on!!!!

    But blog post is as usual, tomorrow :)

    Your rejoicing over your first draft is making me think of mine. I completed that three hours before the NaNoWriMo deadline last November, and it was truly joyous. All the applause to you, Kenzie!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwwww! Thank you SO much!!! I’m so happy to have finished it! It’s a wonderful feeling!!! :D *dances in the cookie rain* Awww! That is so sweet of you! I shall devour the virtual muffins and drink some hot chocolate, bahaha! And BLECH! Tea is gross! :P

      OH NO! I am so sorry!!!! I hope you can catch up on all of that…. :( That sounds awful… I had some trouble with the whole Scrivener/Malwarebytes thingy, so I can totally understand the pain… My dad was able to recover everything, though, so at least my work was still there… I am SO sorry!!! :( *gives you virtual hugs and cookies*

      Oh my word, did you really??? That is fantastic!!! Isn’t it amazing??? Did you feel that strange little sense of sadness upon finishing? I still feel a little sad, but today I’m going to start the FIRST READ-THROUGH, so I’m excited about that!

      Aww!!! Thank you!! :D


  2. Congratulations! I have, alas, never finished a first draft of a novel. I’ve managed to drag a few short stories all the way to the end, but never a novel. I am working on finishing one right now, though, so I hope to soon. I’m maybe a quarter of the way through??? I have no clue, really. But again, great job! Good luck with editing. Please don’t die from doing so. I’d miss your blog terribly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awww, thank you! :D And don’t worry! This is pretty much the very first NOVEL I’ve ever written. I mean, there WAS that Dragon thing I wrote when I was like thirteen-ish, but that was…ahem…no.

      Oh my word, that is so exciting!!! Writing a book is one of the wackiest roller coasters. One that I am, unfortunately, still on, because THE PROCESS NEVER ENDS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

      But no, writing a book is literally THE most fun thing in the world, and I wish you ALL of the luck and cookies!!!

      Aww, thank you again! And I shall do my best to refrain from dying so that I can keep posting more blog posts!! XD


  3. Congratulations!!! My friend, after writing her first draft, is going back and completely rewriting the whole thing again, with the first draft as a sort of outline…. Not sure if that’s for everyone, tho. :P And this is kinda random, but… I love the way you call your blog posts Smudges. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw, thank you!!! :D Oh my word, that is so cool! I think I’ve heard of some writers doing that! Sort of like a total rewrite, right? (Try saying that three times fast…) What I think I’m doing is, since I SORT of like parts of my first draft, I’m reading through the entire thing and making notes on major plot problems and pacing and character development, and then I’m going to go through and change all of that, and polish it up a bit, and THEN MIRACULOUSLY HAVE A SECOND DRAFT.


      Aww, thank you!!! I don’t know why I started doing that… It just sort of happened… :D

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Congratulations! Even if it did take you those few extra months :) finishing an entire book is still a big accomplishment! I’m over 24,000 words right now. Good luck on editing your story! I don’t think I’m even halfway yet and I know my story is going to need a lot of editing… and congratulations again! *clapping – but not sarcastically*


    • Aww, thank you so much!!! Yessss! I’m really glad I was able to finish this one. I usually just toss half-finished drafts away and never speak of them again, but I think something that really helped push me forward was talking about the WIP on this blog! It was sort of like having something chaining me to the project, because the Great and Terrible Cyberspace knew ALLL about it…

      Oh my word!!! 24k is A LOT!!! I wish you ALL of the luck and cookies!!! Just keep at it! The editing will come later! Just focus on having fun with writing it! Trust me…you’re gonna miss having the freedom of word vomiting on the page… (At least, I sort of do… XD )

      Awww! Thank you again!!! :D


  5. CONGRATULATIONS AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I CANT SAY THAT ENOUGH I FEEL SO PROUD OF YOU AND HAPPY BECAUSE IT’S SUCH A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *throws cookes and chocolate and coffetti at the same time*
    Can’t wait to read it when it’s published!!! <3 <3 ;)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Awwwww!!! Kenzie, this was so sweet!!

    I love your family so much – how close you are to your mom and how encouraging she is and how your dad checks up on you to make sure you stay on top of your daily goal and your brother being willing to listen and your sister helping you without knowing it… Just gahhhhhh!!! They sound so nice!!!


    Ah, yes! Those bunkbeds! They will be the death of us yet…

    This post was hilarious and a little melancholy, honestly??? Because… you’re DONE so what do you do now???? Man, I can’t even imagine!! It must be such a feeling of lostness… Of course, there’s always draft 2 and draft 3 and after that – the next book!!!! Right??? :D


    • Awww! Yeah, my family is (are??) honestly my closest friends. I love them so much!!


      Ugh, they truly will… We shall be hunchbacks together, hunchbacks FOREVER! YAAAAAAY!

      Awww, it really was! I’m kinda sad about it, but I’ve officially started the second draft, and I have finally–after years of unfinished first drafts–realized that the first draft is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compared to the second.

      The second is pain. The second is fire.

      The second is DEATH.

      BUT I SHALL FORGE ONWARD!! Because I’m looking on to the third draft, and then ANOTHER FIRST DRAFT!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!! :D


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