Good morning, Cyberspace!
It has come to my attention that sometime during the past week, I have miraculously accumulated 100 followers.
And this is both extremely terrifying and slightly cool.
Extremely terrifying because there are 100 insane weirdos who thought, “Hey! This blog is pretty cool! I shall hit the follow button and STALK THEM FOR ETERNITY.”
Slightly cool because there are 100 insane weirdos who thought, “Hey!” This blog is pretty cool! I shall hit the follow button and STALK THEM FOR ETERNITY.”
And I cannot thank you enough for hitting that follow button.
All 101 of you. (OOH! I shall call you the Dalmatians!!! [if anyone else hits that follow button and ruins this beautiful thing that has spontaneously occurred, I shall come after you with a pitchfork and a slab of concrete.])
And so, in honor of all you fluffy Dalmatians, I have decided to do something a little bit different today–as is the custom of this delightful blog. Instead of the normal rant-tastic post, I’m gonna do a little bit of a trivia thingy, in which I sporadically divulge information about myself that you probably never would have guessed just by reading my blog posts and feeding me your leftover cookies.
And if you would have guessed these random facts, you are obviously a stalker, which in that case I must say–
–WELCOME TO INSANITY, SIR!!! Have a cookie. There’s plenty for everyone, after all.
And besides the fact that I am a
complete raving lunatic pterodactyl hatchling , I’m sure there are some things you probably wondered about whilst browsing and stalking my dear little corner of Cyberspace.
What does go on behind the strange and rather absurdness of this blog?
What do I enjoy doing when I’m not ranting about cookies and stabby utensils on the internet?
How do I survive in the complex and sometimes terrifying swirling vortex of insanity?
Well, now, don’t fret any longer over these sleep-depriving questions, dear bean, for I am here to answer all of the things you never asked.
And so, without further ado, I would like to present to you–
Nineteen Facts You Never Knew About Me…
Fact One– I never wear matching socks. Ever.
Now–as usual–I know exactly what you’re thinking.
“But Kenzie,” you say. “This really isn’t all that random! I mismatch my socks all the time!”
Ah, that you might, little bean. But have you been so severely depressed because all you could find in your sock drawer were matching pairs of socks that you ripped practically every sock out of the drawer in an effort to find one that didn’t?
No? I didn’t think so.
(And if you have, then CONGRATULATIONS! We are probably distantly related. I shall randomly show up on your doorstep so that we can display our mismatching socks to the world and eat cookies.)
Fact Two– I carry a tiny pink notebook with me everywhere, because #IDEAS…
Actually, there was a short period of time when I didn’t carry my little notebook around, because I had it upstairs and I just kept forgetting to put it in my pocket because BONUS FACT! my brain is actually a marshmellow, but eh.
Let’s just say I carry it around all the time because THAT SOUNDS COOLER.
And as you can see, this poor little notebook is in terrible condition, because I’ve dropped it and gotten it wet and sat on it for about 312 years, so of course it looks all wrinkly and old, but IT IS MINE, PRECIOUS!
Fact Three– The name for Smudged Thoughts was actually a group effort…
Tis true! I cannot take full credit for the wonderfully adorable name of Smudged Thoughts! And I’ll tell you why–
Once Upon A Time, I was sitting at the computer, trying to think up a clever name for a blog. I had a list of all of my favorite words, such as ‘ink’, ‘blot’, ‘splat’, ‘quill’, etc. in front of me, and I was trying to come up with names that incorporated those words.
Now, while this was all going on, my mom happened to be sitting beside me, and we were bouncing fun words and blog name ideas around. Somehow, the word ‘Smudge’ got brought up (I can’t exactly remember how??? [my brain is a marshmallow, remember?]) and my mom had the brilliant idea of Smudged Thoughts!
The name instantly clicked, and thus, Smudged Thoughts was born.
I’m not exactly sure why I started calling the posts ‘Smudges’ instead of ‘Thoughts’, though. You’d think I’d call it a thought, since a blog post is basically just someone’s thought splatted out onto a page, but no. I am never logical.
And so, in conclusion, to all of you who think I’m creative and clever or whatever, I must laugh in your face and give you a resounding “NO”. The name of Smudged Thoughts is not mine alone to claim. It is the work of two very strange minds clinking together to form one blog name that is both adorable and fun, and honestly one of my favorite names ever.
Fact Four– My favorite movie is…
I bet you were not expecting that.
To be honest, for the longest time my absolute favorite movie EVER was the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland, but then Lego Batman came out, and just…
Fact Five– I have a very bizarre and rather irrational fear of washing cheese graters…
It’s like trying to shave your skin off in the name of being clean. And then the cheese just melts and glops in the corners and you have to stuff your hand down into the center and just no.
Fact Six– I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with cocktail sauce…
My taste-buds consistently refuse to decide on whether they like it, or think it’s one of the grossest tangy glop substances to ever come in contact with my tongue bumps.
It’s a real struggle, guys.
Fact Seven– My favorite dessert is…
Alright. This one is probably going to surprise some people, so I shall have to ask you to prepare yourself. Brace your brainy muscle. Take a couple deep, soul-satisfying breaths.
Perhaps you should sit down.
Alright. Assuming that you are properly prepped to hear this information, I can now tell you that my favorite dessert is…
And right now you are probably spluttering at your screen, “BUT KENZIE!”
And that’s as far as you’ll get before screaming something unintelligible about cookies and how I have been lying to your face for the past not-even-a-year.
BUT IT IS TRUE.
My favorite dessert is cheesecake. More specifically, BOXED cheesecake from the Jell-O company.
Because homemade cheesecake tastes like burnt, obviously.
(But I still love cookies. It’s just easier to throw cookies everywhere than cheesecake? [less dirty dishes and broken faces, too])
Fact Eight– I have a strange obsession with clicky keyboards…
You know those keyboards at the library, where the keys sort of pop out about thirty feet up from the board???
Those keyboards have the most DELICIOUS SOUND EVER. I could listen to and type on those things all day…
Fact Nine– I do not currently have a bookshelf…
And now you’re all probably wondering what I do with my mountains of books. Wellllllll…
Fact Ten– Small notebooks are my latest writerly addiction…
I mean, just LOOK at these things! They’re pocket-sized, easily portable, and did I mention how GORGEOUS they are???
Don’t you just want to plop down beneath a tree and write for like five million years in one of these things? Or, you know, stroke their covers whilst making cooing sounds and sniffing the smol pages?
Fact Eleven– I write in obscure places…
It’s true. I like to squeeze myself into a tiny little corner and write for a while until my back starts to hurt from crunching into a smol ball, and then I sprawl out on the floor so that passersby must leap over me in their effort to resume their daily lives.
And other times I write on the middle cushion of our couch (which is a seriously uncomfortable seat???) and sometimes I write at the dining room table, and sometimes I write on the floor NEXT to the table, and sometimes I write out on the deck, and sometimes I write all hunched up on our stairway landing, squeezed in between a box full of video games and another set of stairs.
I’m still not sure how I fit in that tiny little hole, actually…
Fact Twelve– I play the violin…
Actually, I sound more like a squealing warthog when I play, but hey! I’m learning.
(she’s said for the past four years…)
Fact Thirteen– I am obsessed with Doctor Who…
And I cannot wait until I’m 19, because that’s how old Rose is when she meets the Doctor for the first time, so obviously that’s when I shall meet the Doctor.
Or, you know, maybe Gandalf will come find me when I’m 50. That seems more probable.
Fact Fourteen– When I was thirteen/maybe twelve? I…
…wrote a 515 page book that was pretty much a carbon copy of The Hunger Games, but with DRAGONS!
It was awful.
And I also think I’ve mentioned this before….
Fact Fifteen– I don’t do well on coffee…
And when I say coffee, I mean iced defroster thingies (or whatever they’re called) with whipped cream and all that salsa, because that is what I drink when I drink coffee. Not the hot stuff because #ew.
HOWEVER, the frosty caffeine does something weird inside my head–a spontaneous chemical reaction, no doubt–and I start to feel all buzzy and strange, and basically I feel (and probably act) sort of drunk because of all of the caffeine bursting through my veins.
It’s not a pretty sight. Next time I go to a coffee shop, I’m getting tea.
Duhn duhn DUHN!
Fact Sixteen– My favorite color…
…has changed sporadically over the years, and is still changing to this day.
First it was yellow, then it was purple, then it was yellow, then it was turquoise, then it was yellow and turquoise (but not together because #EWW), and now it is currently sea green, because that is the aesthetic of everlost, and I’ve just fallen eternally in love with it.
Fact Seventeen– I have a completely rational fear of accidentally stabbing someone with a steak knife when unloading the dishwasher…
Or, you know, slitting their throat…
…or carving out an integral organ…
Fact Eighteen– My favorite number is 19…
Don’t ask why. It’s just aesthetically pleasing to me.
(this, however, has absolutely nothing to do with how that shall be my age when I meet the Doctor)
Fact Nineteen– I honestly have no clue why so many people like this blog…
Whenever I read through the posts I write, I cringe at my stupid jokes and tyrannical ranting…
…and then the comments pour in about how hysterical I am.
It is a cosmic conundrum, folks.
WHY DO YOU ALL LIKE ME SO MUCH?
Am I just such a lovable bean that you have no choice but to adore me? Am I honestly funny? Does my stupidity make you feel better about your amazing self? Is Smudged Thoughts a black hole that sucks you in, whether you like it or not? Are you here just for the cookies??? (This is a perfectly acceptable reason.)
Whatever it is, I am so eternally grateful for all 101 of you who thought that this random blog was something worth following. I never in my wildest dreams expected to reach 100 (and one) followers before Smudged Thoughts was even a year old. It’s crazy…
But then again…so am I.
(and so are you because YOU FOLLOWED ME, MWAHAHAHAHA–HACK!)
P.S. There was supposed to be a new PictoPrompter on Sunday, but WHAT DO YOU KNOW??? I failed and never got it posted, because I’ve been super busy and blah blah blah excuses excuses, and so there shall be a new PictoPrompter NEXT month, on the third. (Because three is yet another aesthetically pleasing number, obviously.)
So! What did you think of these 19 random facts about me? Were they boring? Weird? Are you upset that I didn’t have a giant reveal about a mysterious sixth toe? Let us speak of all the things down in the comments below! And don’t forget to tell me what your favorite number, color, and favorite flavor of cookie is! Because COOOOOKIEEESSS.
*throws cookies in the air and disappears*