My Amazing (and completely impossible) Summertime Goals (In Which I Disappear For About A Month [or three?])

Happy Tuesday, Cyberspace!

Now, I’m not sure if any of you have noticed this, but it seems that no matter what blog I happen to stumble across in the maniacal blogosphere lately, every human, cyborg, and chocolate chip cookie is posting their totally envious writing/blogging/life goals for this upcoming summer. And seeing everyone get so excited to make goals and be held within the gnarly, snaggled claws of accountability of the Great and Terrible Cyberspace, well…

I was inspired.

I mean, what better way to stick to your writing goals than by blasting them out into the internet for everyone to see? If you happen to achieve them, everyone cheers and applauds and throws cookies at your face in celebration.

And if you fail, everyone screams at you like a wild black-toothed banshee and stabs you in the left toe with a rusted metal pitchfork.

Or, in other words, you feel extremely ashamed of yourself and stab your own left toe with a rusted metal pitchfork whilst looking like you just got the worst sunburn across your face because #SHAME.

So, today I decided to compile a list of my goals for the summer.

Because there is no better thing to do to waste your time than to read about what I’m going to do with my life over the next few months, right?

Right.

So, without further ado, I present to thee–

~ Writing ~

Number One– Finish the second draft of everlost by my birthday

No, I shall not be telling you when my birthday is. (#creepystalkers). And no, I shall not be telling you how old I am turning.

However, I shall say that my completely plausible dream of becoming a famous New York Times Best-Selling published teenager is quickly coming to a sudden and quite solid halt.

In which I smash my face on the brick wall that is people screaming at my poor face that I’m an adult, even though I am nowhere near the adult age???

But anyway, I would really like to finish the second draft of everlost by my next birthday, so that I can send it off to betas before the summer is over, and also say that I have written a hopefully pretty decent draft of a book by the time I hit whatever age it is I’m turning.

If I don’t finish the second draft before summer ends, I shall consider myself both A), extremely lame, and B) a complete and utter failure as a writer.

(BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA–#notreally)

Plus, if I don’t get it done before the fall, most of my betas will be off to college or school or working or doing other strange and terrifying things that normal people do, and then I’ll be a sad cookie crumble with no betas floating in a puddle of my own milky tears.

Number Two– Finish the comic project I started with my friend

And this one I actually already feel extremely guilty about, because I’ve had so many other writing projects that I’ve been wrapping up lately, that I’ve completely let this one fall by the wayside.

And also forgotten about it like five times.

(because my brain actually happens to be a fire-roasted marshmallow smashed between a block of chocolate and two graham crackers)

Which is terrible. So I’d like to get this comic script done by the end of June, or mid-July at the latest.

Or, you know, by the year 2020.

Number Three– Begin outlining T

And now most of you are probably squinting at your screens thinking, “#WUT?”

(yes it is perfectly normal to think in hashtags what are you talking about)

Basically, while I was playing with my smol co-writer and editor-in-chief the other day, I was suddenly hit squarely in the face by the fattest plot bunny I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It was huge. It was the size of a walrus.

It shoved me completely off the course of everlost and straight onto the path that lead to–you guessed it–T.

Now, the name of this book is obviously not T. That would just be lame and slightly disappointing to my obviously extraordinary naming #skillz.

(like that one time I named my mascot Blobby)

However, I am not going to reveal the actual name of this book, because I’m keeping it under wraps at this current point in time.

(and also because I’m still not sure what it’s actually called yet)

See, I like to let my ideas stew in the back of my mind for precisely 3,000,000 years before I let anyone see them.

#smurt

Number Four— Begin outlining the sequel to everlost

Because having three writing goals over three months is obviously NOT ENOUGH.

Technically, everlost is a dualogy, so it has a sequel.

Of which I know practically nothing.

So the next few months I’d like to start figuring out what in the world the sequel is all about, and also how to wrap up the two books into a nice, neat little package. I’m not going to begin writing it, however, as that is for this upcoming November NaNoWriMo.

(or perhaps April of next year, but SHHHH that’s a secret)

~ Reading ~

Number One— Get back on track with my Goodreads reading challenge (which is a measly 25 books)

Number Two– Bump Goodreads reading challenge up to 30 books

Number Three– Finish reading The Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of The Ring

Number Four– Begin reading The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers???

Number Five— Completely give up on Eragon, because I CANNOT FINISH THAT STUPID BOOK ASDFGHJKL!!!!

Number Six– Continue the quest for amazing (and clean) fiction, otherwise known as Kenzie’s Quest

Number Seven– Try to tackle TBR and get eaten by ravenous books

~ Blogging ~

Haha…ha…

This is where things get a tad bit interesting, Cyberspace.

See, you might have noticed that in the title of this Smudge, it casually hints at me taking a smol break from blogging.

It’s a very small hint, obviously. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t see it at first.

It’s in that giant bold text that says (in which I disappear for about a month [or three???]).

So to clear up any confusion you might be having, I shall clarify by saying that–yes–I am taking a small blogging hiatus.

Small as in four weeks.

*initiate people screaming and flinging rotten cookies at my face*

Okay, okay, I know that four weeks seems like a loooooooong time, but in all seriousness, I really think I need this. I’ve got a ton of creative goals for this summer (even ones that have not been mentioned above [and they shall remain secrets because I like holding things over people’s heads, obviously]) and blogging through all of it would just be an added stress on top of a bunch of hyperventilation and grey hairs.

Which is something that I do not need at this current point in time, thank you very muchly.

And, as I always do, I know exactly what you’re thinking.

“But Kenzie!” you squeal. “You’re just going to disappear into thin air right this second??? ARE YOU EVEN HERE WHILE I’M READING THIS POST????”

Hush now, dear bean! The Hiatus isn’t going to be taking place until July 3rd, so we still have an entire month to romp and play and squeal and yell and pound our meaty fists into the table before I completely abandon you for eternity four weeks.

And I realize that this means I’m going to be an invisible ghost (as opposed to a visible ghost) during the entire July Camp NaNoWriMo session, and while this PAINS ME GREATLY, there is naught I can do. Forgive me, dear beans. It must be done.

“So does this mean you’re not going to be participating in Camp NaNoWriMo??” you ask faintly. “Are you…abandoning us???”

I still haven’t decided whether I’m going to be participating or not. Back in April, I figured that of course I was going to participate. After all, it’s CAMP NANOWRIMO. However, this summer is already going to be super packed, so I’m not sure if it would be wise to burden myself with yet another activity that must be done and–

–oh, who are we kidding here??? Of course I’m going to be participating in Camp NaNoWriMo! Who do you think I am? A flimsy wish-washy camper??

No no. I am the die-hard Camp NaNoWriMoer. I am the princess of the dragons.

I AM THE COOKIE QUEEN.

And I shall be playing in July’s Camp NaNoWriMo session (with a very miniscule goal, mind you). I just won’t be blogging about it, which I’m sure you guys can understand.

Hopefully.

So now that we have all of this beefaroni settled, I believe I can wrap this Smudge up. I hope you guys enjoyed reading about my completely impossible-to-achieve goals, and perhaps I can count on you to keep me accountable?? Ah? Ah???

(please don’t hurt me if I fail…)

Until the crimson suns rise again,

Kenzie

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*

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 So that’s about it for this Smudge! What are some of your Summertime Goals for 2017? Are you going to be writing? Reading? Tackling your massive TBR? Would you like to stab me in the foot with a watermelon because I am abandoning you for four weeks? Let us talk about all of the goals and watermelon-stabbings down in the comments below!