The Versatile Blogger Award (in which you discover seven completely random facts about Yours Truly)

Good afternoon, Cyberspace!

You guys will never in a million years guess what has happened to me! (or, you know, maybe you will because of the giant, completely inconspicuous title of this smudge. who knows.)

This past week, as I was scrolling through my severely cluttered WordPress feed, I saw something that gave my heart a stutter. There, smushed between the gazillion book reviews and writerly posts that I am seriously behind on reading, was…

…an award.

For me.

And no no no, it is not the Sunshine Blogger Award, which I believe I’ve done about 2 3 infinity times by now. It is, in fact, the Versatile Blogger Award. (and I totally didn’t have to look up the word versatile what are you talking about hahahahahaha)

Anyway.

I–the cookie queen–have been nominated by the amazing Hope over at The Reader Addict, and I honestly cannot thank her enough. I was really in a scrunch for something to write for this week, because–as usual–I have been too busy to write a blog post due to about three hundred other writing projects that I’ve been working on. And then, right as I was about to give up on writing a blog post for the week–BAM! This award swooped in and slapped me in the face like a giant pretzel.

So thank you SO much, Hope! I really owe you one. Here’s a cookie for your face.

Moving on..

– The Rules –

• Thank the kind bean who tagged you. . . (I already did this because I’m amazing.)
• Share seven seemingly random facts about yourself
• Nominate ten other bloggers of your choice (MWAHAHAHAHAHA! #favoritism)
• Link your nominees and let them know of your nomination.

And now, without further ado, let us jump right into the smudge!

---

---

— Fact Number One – I Love Rain More Than Sunshine —

Now, this quite possibly ruins the entire Sunshine Blogger Award streak I’ve got going on here, but still this fact remains.

I love the rain.

I love thunderstorms. I love the gentle tap tap tap of raindrops on the roof. I love boiling grey skies that sizzle with magic and hide dragons beneath their dark, torrential clouds.

I even love walking through the rain, which is good, because umbrellas are yet another of my arch rivals.

Umbrellas are made of fabric and pure evil, and therefore can never ever be trusted.

Unless it looks like a duck. You can always trust an umbrella duck.

— Fact Number Two – I Love Love Love Love LOOOOOVE Balloon Pants —

That is correct, dear bean.

I own balloon pants.

And let me just tell you that they are literally the comfiest, most amazing, most adorable pair of pants that I have ever owned.

They even have elephants on them. Because I’m just that cool.

And while it might seem surprising that a girl like me would want a bright pair of balloon pants with super fun and happy elephant prints on them for her birthday, let us just take a moment to remember that–oh wait.

This is not surprising at all.

— Fact Number Three – People Frighten Me —

According to a rip-off version of the Myers Briggs Personality Test, I am officially an ENFP. And if you have absolutely no clue what that even means, allow me to break it down for you–

ENFP stands for Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, and Perception, which means that I am, by nature, a slap-happy extrovert. I am bubbly. I am hyper. I am a jolly jelly bean who loves to do things and be around people.

Sounds wonderful, right?

Yeah, well, there’s just one teensy tiny little problem.

People are terrifying.

I don’t like them. They are weird. They do weird things and say weird things and sometimes they’re just plain frightening.

And so, because of this most peculiar flaw in my personality type, I fondly think of myself as the introverted extrovert. Sometimes I’m an introvert. Sometimes I’m an extrovert.

It all depends on my mood.

And also if there are cookies available.

— Fact Number Four – I Want To See Mountains Again, Gandalf! MOUNTAINS! —

Now, I’m sort of stealing this whole travel thing from Hope’s post, but I really really really want to see some mountains. I want to see the snowcapped peaks and climb their craggly faces. I want to watch the hazy orange sunset sink against their rigid tips.

I want to become a hermit and live in the depths of a secret mountain cave forever, never having to come in contact with the vile species known as humans ever again… 

And I’d also like to live in London.

Because London.

— Fact Number Five – I Could Join A Circus —

And don’t you even dare look at me like I just lost the last scrap of marshmallow brain that I’ve managed to hold on to, you uncultured peasant. I could totally join a circus if I wanted to.

In fact, I have insane superhero powers when it comes to flipping and balancing things.

Have you ever balanced a fork on top of a water bottle that’s balancing on top of your shoulder? Ah??? AH????

I didn’t think so.

Ever flip a stainy paint-brush and not get a speck of bright red deck stain on your hand? Ever balance a whirling fidget spinner on your nose? Ever get one snagged in your hair? (wait…) Ever flip a badminton racket into the air so that it does multiple rotations and then catch it again on its way back down?

Ever balance a water bottle on top of your head and pretend like you’re an ancient gypsy who gives terrible and extremely useless advice?

Cause I have.

I’m a superhero, I tell you. A SUPERHERO.

— Fact Number Six – I Am A Shapeshifter —

Now, this one might seem a little bit farfetched, and maybe you’re right about that. But if you ask my siblings, I am, in fact, a shapeshifter.

See, aside from having the supernatural ability to flip and balance things like the cool bean that I am, I also have this other power–one that I must control with much greater consideration and care.

The power to completely manipulate my facial structure.

And it all boils down to muscle movement.

You know how the average person has about 43 muscles in their face? (I totally did not just google that) Yeah, well, I think I have about 54.

My face is severely flexible. Too flexible. The expressions I am able to make with this face are so unnatural that you could only find such features etched into rubber at your local Halloween store.

And I love it.

I mean, how many people can say that with one simple, fluid movement, they are able to completely dissolve their entire neck?

Not many, that’s for sure.

My face is a rare life-form all its own. And the fact that I can greatly disturb my siblings with a single look is just a cherry on top of the whipped cream mountain that is my life.

— Fact Number Seven – I Am A Terrible Artist —

Now, there’s always going to be that one bean out there who’s kind enough to say, “D’AWWWW, Kenzie, you’re not a terrible artist! I’m sure you’re absolutely amazing!”

And to you, my dear little bean, I must say “Thank you, but no.”

No no. I really am terrible.

You see, I have recently taken up the beautiful hobby of watercolor painting. And while it is amazing and fun and actually a really wonderful stress reliever when you feel like murdering a small civilization with a rusty pitchfork, it has also helped me to form a better understanding of a universal truth buried deep within my smol self–

I am not an artsy person.

And it’s not that I don’t try. I really, really try. But apparently there is just some missing connection between the image I see in my head, and the bizarrely frightening scene that actually forms upon the paper in front of me.

But please don’t get me wrong, dear bean! I am not–in any way shape or form–bashing myself. In fact, it is this now-acknowledged truth that has aided in the creation of a new series for this blog.

Perhaps some of you remember my brilliantly neglected idea for an Arts and Crafts Center here on Smudged Thoughts, and perhaps you have also been severely disappointed by the fact that I literally never went through with this. At all.

But now–now that I know how terrible I really am at Artsing and Crafting–I have made the decision to create a special series on this smol blog. A new series in which I show all you amazing peeps the wonderful way of Artsing and Crafting…Kenzie Style.

I’m honestly really excited about this, Cyberspace. It might even be a video series. Who knows.

I’m not sure when, exactly, it will come into existence, but you can bet your burritos that it will exist.

Someday . . .

(#probablynot)

---

---

And that is it! Now that I’ve given y’all my seven random facts about Yours Truly, here are my ten nominations for the versatile blogger award . . .

– The Nominees –

• Kate Marie (Story And Dark Chocolate)
• Jethan (Jethan’s Lair)
• Julia (monkeyeverythingblog)
• Anna (Writerly Wonderings)
• loverofwriting2 (A Writer’s Life)
• Abi (If You Give a Girl a Blog)
• Phoebe Ava (My Myopic Heart)
• Kirsten (siximpossiblethingsbeforelunch)
• Ruby Sky ({The Sea Calls Us Home})
• YOU!!!

I know, I know. That last one is always a gimme. But hey! If you have a blog and you want to shout seven random facts about yourself into the void, why not give it a shot? It’s actually quite fun, and you just can’t replicate that distinct feeling of fear at having the world read into your personal existence.

---

---

Well, that’s all I’ve got for today, folks! Thank you all so much for reading. I truly do apologize for having such a sporadic post this week, but hopefully this satisfied your quench for a weekly smudge.

hopefully…?

Anyway, how is everyone? Have you ever seen mountains? Have you been to London? Do you wear balloon pants, or am I alone on this? Could YOU join a circus??? Are you excited about my new Arts and Crafts series, or do you think it’s a bad idea? And most importantly, if you could shapeshift into a mangled rat or a moldy crescent, which would you pick? 

Let us discuss ALL OF THE THINGS down in the comments below!

Until the seven suns rise again . . .

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*