The Twelve Days of Writing – A Musical Parody

My brain is fried potato today, Cyberspace.

NaNoWriMo was — to put it simply — draining. My writerly tube has been completely emptied of all its carefully stored up creative juices, and I am officially a dried up potato fry.

isn’t this wonderful

But it is Tuesday! And Tuesdays mean blog posts, and since I have absolutely no drafts backed up that look appealing in the least, it is time to whip up something drastic.

So here we go, Cyberspace. Prepare yourself.

With November behind us, and Christmas fast-approaching, now is obviously the perfect time to begin preparing for the glorious festivities of the season: decking the halls out in twinkle lights, making cookies, stringing your hair in twinkle lights, nearly hanging yourself with a silver tinsel scarf, writing weird Christmas-y blog posts, wrapping your head in a ball of still more twinkle lights, and, most importantly. . .

. . .singing.

Ah yes. Music. Without the proper Christmas music blaring in our eardrums every single minute from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve, this beautiful winter wonderland we see transforming all around us just doesn’t feel like Christmas, now does it?

I mean, what would we possibly do without Josh Groban singing Believe atop our rooftops as we hop on board a creepy train in the middle of the night to make for the North Pole like stolen children in the night? And how on earth would we know how far to go in our horse-drawn sleighs without the dulcet tones of Jingle Bells telling us that — yes. We must go ALL THE WAY.

Christmas just isn’t complete without the proper soundtrack jingle jingle jingling and Chris Kringle-ing in the background, and with all of us writers hastily trying to recover from the horrors of NaNoWriMo before Christmas hits us in the face like a brick of hardened fruitcake, I thought it would be some jolly good fun to remake one of the more popular (and quite possibly the best) Christmas songs in a way that might help inspire us and fill up our bone-dry creative tubes.

Because this is a writing blog, and I am a writer, and writing is all I ever talk about apparently. Ha.

And so, without further ado, it is my honor and privilege to present to thee —

The Twelve Days of Writing

a glorious parody by Kenzie A. Keene

(go ahead. sing it out loud. nobody’s listening. [mwahahahahahaha…])


On the first day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

A first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the second day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the third day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the fourth day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the fifth day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the sixth day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Six FBI agents investigating,

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the seventh day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Seven corpses rotting,

Six FBI agents investigating,

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the eighth day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Eight tears a-oozing,

Seven corpses rotting,

Six FBI agents investigating,

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the ninth day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Nine hairs a-graying,

Eight tears a-oozing,

Seven corpses rotting,

Six FBI agents investigating,

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the tenth day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Ten grenades exploding,

Nine hairs a-graying,

Eight tears a-oozing,

Seven corpses rotting,

Six FBI agents investigating,

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the eleventh day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

Eleven plot bunnies plotting,

Ten grenades exploding,

Nine hairs a-graying,

Eight tears a-oozing,

Seven corpses rotting,

Six FBI agents investigating,

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

 

On the twelfth day of writing, my story gave to me. . .

(insert dramatic pause)

. . .

Twelve plot holes manifesting,

Eleven plot bunnies plotting,

Ten grenades exploding,

Nine hairs a-graying,

Eight tears a-oozing,

Seven corpses rotting,

Six FBI agents investigating,

FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!

Ba dum bum bum. . .

Four frozen fingers,

Three love triangles,

Two twitching eyeballs,

And a first draft filled with

PAIN.

The End.



And that’s all I’ve got for today, Cyberspace! What did you think of the smudge? I know this isn’t the kind of post that I normally write around here, but enhancing songs by changing the lyrics is something that I’ve always loved doing. #Kenziefunfact So if this was something that you enjoyed — and would perhaps like to see more of in the future? — let me know down in the comments below! I might even do some more Christmas songs during this most wonderful time of the year!

You know. If you want.

hahahaha i’ll probably do it anyway. #sonice

But anyway, enough about me and my odd obsession with changing lyrics! What are some of YOUR favorite Christmas songs? Do you enjoy Christmas music like a sane person, or do you begin bellowing Jingle Bells at the top of your lungs the day after Halloween because CHRISTMAS IS COMING ASDFGHJKL!!!! #me Whatever your musical preferences and Christmas obsessions, let us talk about ALL OF THE CHRISTMAS down in the comments below!!!!

As always, until next time. . .

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*

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33 thoughts on “The Twelve Days of Writing – A Musical Parody

  1. That was excellent. I can feel the creative juices slowly seeping back. Slowly. This November kicked me in the shins and laughed over my weeping form.
    I am not a sane person, as I (along with most of my family) start listening to Christmas music any time between August and the beginning of October. By Halloween it’s about all we listen to, and we do not stop until after the New Year.
    My dad says Christmas music (the traditional, more-Christian songs) is the original worship music.
    “Believe” is an excellent song and I’m thrilled you mentioned it! Horridly under-appreciated. This year I’m also a huge fan of “The Virgin’s Lullaby” by Three2U, Lindesy Stirling’s instrumental “What Child is This?”, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” by Canyon City and Betsy Philips, and Judy Garland’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. But honestly, there are too many good ones to list.
    My Christmas playlist is a solid 9 hours long.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awwww!!! Thank you so much!!! And YES. The creative juices replenish slowly, but they DO replenish, nonetheless. Especially with this music. Obviously.

      Oh my word!! That is a LOT of Christmas music!!! But honestly, Christmas music is literally the best, so you are obviously living your life correctly. I must join you on this endeavor…

      YES! Believe is one of my favorite Christmas songs!!! I don’t think I’ve ever heard The Virgin’s Lullaby, but I HAVE heard Joseph’s Lullaby by Casting Crowns, and I honestly think that it’s my favorite Christmas song of all time. (Which is saying something. 😂😂 ) OH MY WORD!! Lindsey Stirling’s new Christmas album is PHENOMENAL!!!! I love it so much!!! And yesss! There are way too many amazing Christmas songs!! I’m not sure I’ve heard the specific versions I’ll Be Home For Christmas and Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, but I’m really bad at remembering band and artist names. 😂😂😂 I LOVE those songs, though!!!

      Dude!!! SHARE. 😂😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joseph’s Lullaby also excellent. The Virgin’s Lullaby is in the same vein but includes verses from the perspectives of the shepherds, wise men, and angels. It’s very well-composed. And I was totally geeked when I saw that Lindsey Stirling finally had a Christmas album. I love it.
        I use Spotify to collect everything, and it’s a nice program for recommending songs I would actually enjoy discovering.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oooh!!! I must definitely check this song out, then!! I’d love to hear it from other angles… OH MY WORD, SAAAAME! Lindsey is a huge inspiration to me (I’m learning the violin, EEP! 😂) and her music is simply amazing. 💗💗💗

          Ooh! I use Spotify too, but I’m kind of bad at making playlists. I usually just dump all my favorite songs into one giant album. 😂😂😂 I need to sort my music better, I think. 😂😂😂

          Like

  2. This is amazing! “FIVE EERILY SPECIFIC AND EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS SEARCH HISTORIES!”
    Dare I ask if the seven rotting corpses are the FBI agents who should have known better than to interfere with a wild writer? (If so, who was the seventh person? Never mind, I don’t need to know)

    Let’s talk about happier things, shall we? I love Christmas music, and every year I collect a few new favourites. This year I’m especially enjoying for KING &COUNTRY’s Angels We Have Heard on High, and Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God album.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awww!!! Thank you so much!!!! That means the world to me, dear bean!!!! XD ❤

      WE SHALL NEVER KNOW, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! XD Poor FBI agents. They should never have interfered. . . XD

      OH MY WORD!!!! I LOOOOOVE For King and Country!!!! They are literally one of my favorite bands of ever! *high-fives* I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard the entire Behold The Lamb of God album, but I THINK I’ve heard Behold The Lamb of God! If the song I’m thinking of is correct, I really like that song, too!!! XD Christmas music is totally the best ever.

      Like

  3. TEN GRENADES EXPLODING!
    I’m gonna need a few of those in my story…

    I love continuity of the suspicious search history and the FBI agents investigating. xD
    I don’t sing Christmas songs much, but I’m listen to some right now. No Christmas until November, Halloween and Fall needs its own atmosphere.

    I seriously have no idea what creative projects to work on write now, I don’t feel all dried up, I just feel like I don’t want to COMMIT to anything after a month working on one thing.

    Like

    • Same, though. XD (sidenote, I love how everyone is including a section of the song, but NONE OF THEM ARE THE SAME. XD This is wonderful. XD [ten grenades exploding is a personal favorite line of mine… XD])

      HA! I was wondering if anyone would notice that! I always hear the original as ‘Six geese a-laying five golden rings’, so I decided to keep the continuity in my little version, as well. XD
      That’s very true!!! Around Halloween, I always make sure to listen to Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride, and Sweeney Todd music, but once Halloween is over, it gets switched over to Christmas. XD But ever since I was little, we’ve listened to instrumental Christmas music BEFORE Halloween, like right when fall hits and the leaves begin to turn. But it’s like these pretty flutes and violins (I think it’s called Smoky Mountain Christmas???) and now it’s just not fall without that music playing in the morning. XD So even though it’s Christmas music, it’s FALL music to me. XD

      Oh no!!!! Isn’t that the worst??? I’m not sure which is worse, wanting to work on a project, but unable to because commitment=blech and ideas=too many/too few, or wanting to work on a project, but unable to because brain=dried up raisin… XD I’ve actually been taking a break from everlost (even though I failed NaNo), and honestly, it’s REALLY helped boost my inspiration and love of the story. I thought taking a break would be the worst possible thing ever, but it’s actually proved exceedingly helpful???

      Liked by 1 person

      • ‘Tis a great line. xD

        We would only start Christmas music the evening of Thanksgiving, after dinner. But playing instrumental music that morphs into a Fall feeling is pretty nice.
        I’ve actually been listening to a Christmas medley from time to time–THE SCREEN IS SNOWING! The cookies need a darker background so you can see it better.

        So, yeah, there’s a Christmas medley that’s all epic, it’s call Mystical Christmas by Blakus on youtube. Feels like dramatic fantasy stuff.

        The break is very helpful, I’m probably going to spill an enormous pile of words onto a page soon enough.

        The snow is great.

        Like

        • *nods gravely* ‘Tis true. 😂😂😂

          Yes! I love the Fall/Christmas music thing! And awwwww! So it’s kind of like you have your own little Christmas music tradition, then, right??? YES!!!!! I saw other blogs snowing last night, and so I was like I MUST MAKE MINE SNOW, AS WELL!!!! 😂😂😂 Apparently there’s a switch I never saw before over in general settings… Ugh, I know! But I don’t know what color to make it, and since the white background and the cookies are all on one page, I could potentially harm the smol cookies! 😱😱😱 (also, IT IS SNOWING HERE IN MY LAME STATE THIS MORNING!!!!!!)

          I am totally looking that up this afternoon. I need some fantasy Christmas music to listen to whilst knitting!!

          OOOH! Yes!!! Spill ALL OF THE WORDS!!!!

          I KNOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I wish I could change the background, though. 😂😂😂

          Liked by 1 person

          • Yup! It’ll be fun to make more Christmas traditions too.
            Like making the blog SNOW!!!!
            I must check out that switch and make my blog snow too. Just fill your blog post with dark images and then the snow will at least show up there!
            (YOUR STATE IS NOW FABULOUS AND LUCKY!!!!)

            Yay! Enjoy!

            Like

  4. Aah! I have a confession to make… I don’t really listen to Christmas music that much. *dramatic gasp* I personally get tired of the same songs cycling through the radio over and over. My favorites: “Run run Rudolph” and Pentatonix’s version of “Mary Did you Know?” I’ll have to check out some of these other songs you guys are talking about and Lindsey Stirling’s album. Maybe they’ll make me like Christmas music? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can sympathize with that. If I only got Christmas music through radio and church, I wouldn’t much care for it, either. The radio does tend to recycle a sparse collection of songs.
      I’d say try some Michael Buble, Josh Groban, lots of Bing Crosby, Roger Whittaker, Pentatonix, and Lindsey Stirling for a good mix.
      But hey. It’s not for everyone.

      Liked by 1 person

    • THIS IS TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE!! Christmas music on the radio is just ANNOYING after awhile.

      OH MY WORD!!! I LOOOOOVE Run Run Rudolph!!!!! I’ve heard that a couple times this year, and I absolutely fell in LOVE with it!! It’s by Kelly Clarkson, right??? The electrics in that song are so much fun!!!!! I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard Pentatonix’s version of Mary Did You Know… I should look it up!!

      YES! Definitely check out Lindsey Stirling’s Album!! I love Warmer In The Winter, and her version of the Nutcracker song. (I can’t think of the name right off the bat… :((( #FAIL) Also! I would highly recommend “Josephs’ Lullaby” by Casting Crowns, and “Little Drummer Boy” by FOR KING AND COUNTRY! That’s a personal favorite… AND “MARSHMALLOW WORLD” BY FRANCESCA BATTISTELLI!!!

      Like

  5. *deep breath* “AND A FIRST DRA-AFT FI-ILLED WITH PAAAAAIN.”

    All of eight tears? you’re really going all-out here.
    But hOW CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE HAVING THREE LOVE TRIANGLES THAT’S IT I’M LEAVING BYE *dives out window*

    (*pops head back over the windowsill* More like this, please, Kenzie?)
    Jem Jones

    Liked by 1 person

    • *deep breath* “BA DUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!” XD

      Yes. Eight tears precisely. What, you think I’m going to sob a thousand tears over this draft because it is literally destroying me from the inside out??? Hahahahaha…haha…ha. *eight tears drip symbolically down my face* XD
      I JUST SORT OF MADE IT THREE LOVE TRIANGLES BECAUSE THERE ARE THREE POINTS TO A TRIANGLE. XD #math But seriously, if there were actually three love triangles in a story, I would burn it in my monthly bonfire. XD

      OH MY WORD!! You have no idea how much that means to me, Jem!!!!! I was worried this was a little TOO out of the blue, but it’s something that I really enjoyed doing, so I think I am going to start doing more of these in the future!!! EEK! *hugs*

      Like

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