The First Tag (in which I try and remember my terrible first attempts at being a rip-off writer [and also a sneak peek at my very first use of a writing prompt?])

good morning, Cyberspace!

Now that I’m back from Hiatus, I figure it’s high time that I begin resurrecting myself from the never-ending pit of tags that have apparently been molding and festering in the darkest corner of my studio for the past three years.

(I haven’t even been blogging for three years. #fail)

Apparently I am a very slappable person, folks, because I keep getting slapped in the face with tags.

Which is great, by the way. I love getting tagged. It gives me validation.

please don’t stop tagging me. please. i need this.

But because I am an absolute failure at life, I always seem to end up completely forgetting that I was ever tagged for anything. (What is short-term memory, amiright?)

But today we’re going to be fixing that! This month I’ve done the impossible and have actually sketched out an extremely flexible blog post outline, which means that I know exactly what I’m going to be posting every single Tuesday (and one Thursday) of this month.

And today’s post is a tag.

But this isn’t just any old tag, my dear beans! Today’s tag was created and thrown out into the great and terrible Cyberspace by none other than my absolutely amazing and completely insane friend, Kate, from over at Story And Dark Chocolate! And if you’re not already following her blog, I would hiiiiiighly recommend hopping on over there and checking it out. Or, you know, I’ll probably have to murder you. So go check out her blog, peasants.

Moving on. This particular tag is called the First Tag. And no. This was not the first tag to have ever been existed. Instead, it is a tag dealing with all of your writerly firsts. Like first failures. And first character slaughterings.

and first cookies ever eaten.

And since my brain is a complete marshmallow, I apologize in advance for all of the ummmm‘s and errrrrr‘s and I really don’t remember‘s that are about to ensue in this post. I could probably go through and edit them out like a normal person, but as I’m sure we have already established numerous times. . . KENZIE AIN’T NORMAL.

As for the rules of the tag, I’m not exactly sure what they are, as Kate never really stated any, so I’m just gonna go ahead with the usual thank the kind bean who had the dignity and grace to slap you in the face with this tag type of thing.

Ahem. . .

ASDFGHJKL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAGGING ME YOU PRECIOUS BEAN YOU ARE A MIRACLE AND I WUV YOU AND JUST THANK YOU SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!!!!!!! *flings cookies at your face*

There. Now that the creator of the tag has been appropriately thanked, I believe we can officially dive straight into the questions!!!

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Number One – Who Was The First Character You Ever Wrote?

Hahahaha….hahahahahahahahha….

I have no idea.

I mean, seriously now. Why in the world would my brain retain such simple and life-changing information as the first character I ever wrote? It’s not like writing completely transformed my life or anything, right?

Ha. Of course not.

Anyway. I guess I’ll just take a dramatic stab in the dark and select a few of the very first characters I ever wrote? I do remember — with much cringeyness and slight loathing — some of my earliest writings, so I’ll just go with those for right now.

— The Supremely Non-Comprehensive Guide To Kenzie’s Early Writings —

• a rather embarrassingly large amount of talking ponies (who were going to save the entire pack of wild horses from the Wranglers, obviously)
• Oliver Crump. (I was so proud of this name, guys. Seriously. So proud.)
• Lilly or Mandy or whatever that girl who could talk to animals (#SHOCKING) was. . .
• That girl (Rachel??) who got a letter to go to a dance with Mr. Rich-Pants (that was not his name in the story, however, due to me not being able to remember his actual name, he is now Mr. Rich-Pants for all eternity.)
• Tyrone Damascus. a.k,a the hero of the first story that actually made me realize for the very first time that, “Hey. I think I might want to be a writer for all eternity.”

Which leads me to. . .

Number Two – What was the first story you ever finished?

Oh, how I love this question. It tailors perfectly to me, the writer who never finishes any stories they begin, which makes the first story I ever finished extremely memorable.

Because believe it or not, I actually did finish a book once!

I know. I know. It was a miracle of the highest caliber.

But anyway, that very first story was none other than The Dragon Elements, which was a story about a young prince — Tyrone Damascus. duh. — who accidentally and unexpectedly comes to be in the possession of a dragon egg. But not just any dragon egg, my friends. Oh no. This little egg happened to hold one of the most amazing dragons ever to have existed. An Elemental Dragon.

Because obviously a sixteen-year-old prince-who-doesn’t-actually-want-to-be-a-prince because he is much too innocent and perfect is bound to have all of the luck, yes?

Oh, and let’s not forget that on the very same day he receives this egg, he also manages to randomly run into and befriend tWO COMPLETELY RANDOM STRANGERS AT THE DRAGON TOURNAMENT (because there’s a dragon tournament. obviously.) WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO KNOW WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT HIS PERSONAL HISTORY WHICH IS SLIGHTLY ALARMING BUT THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE BECAUSE HAHAHAHAHAHA NO STRANGER DANGER HERE, FOLKS.

Number Three – What was the first piece of writing advice you ever heard? Or what was the first bit of advice you used and it actually worked?

Um. . . Yeah, I really don’t know. If I had to guess, though, it would probably be something along the lines of how, when writing a first draft, the one and only thing you need to be doing is getting that story down. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to be good. It just has to be there, and all the editing and polishing and rewriting can be done later.

I’m not sure what writing advice I’ve used that actually works, though. A lot of it is pretty obvious, to be honest. The only thing you have to do to be a writer is write. Don’t even bother listening to what all those ‘famous’ people are saying, because in all reality, we’re all just flailing along, pretending to know what we’re doing when we actually have no idea what we’re even typing half the time.

Anyone who says otherwise is a liar and should probably be beheaded.

Number Four – Who was your first villain?

Oooooh.

Yeah, I don’t remember this either.

I’m pretty sure it was the aforementioned wranglers in the talking horse story, but since that’s a really lame answer, I’m gonna go with the most memorable first villain that I ever wrote —

Zechariah Ogden.

Ah yes. Zechariah Ogden. Masterful. Vile. Snarky. One of the greatest villains of our time.

All of these are words that I would never use to describe Zechariah Ogden.

Here’s a little villain-writing tip from Yours Truly, my friends. If every other sentence your villainous and vile villain is saying is being said with a sneer, snarl, or otherwise awkwardly curled lip, there is a 78.2% chance that you are waaaaay overdoing the whole “I’m a creepy villain” façade.

Believe it or not, actual evil people are — prepare yourself for a shocker here, folks — evil.

Wow. Shocking.

Trust me. I know it’s hard — nay. . .impossible –to prevent your evil villain from having the volcanic curling upper lip, but you must resist the temptation, my friends. Your story deserves this. You deserve this.

Resist the sneer, my fellow writers. Resist.

#ResistTheSneer

Number Five – What was the first storyworld you ever built?

GAH. Another question that I do not remember. Looks like I’m gonna have to take another stab in the dark here.

(seriously, I have the memory retention of a steamed apricot.)

I think the first complete storyworld that I ever built was Uthopia from The Dragon Elements, but the first storyworld that I actually remember trying to map out and dream up was the world of talking animals from that talking animal story I mentioned in Number One.

Unfortunately, I can’t even remember the name of this story. #fail

HOWEVER! That world was pretty cool to my young writer mind, if I do say so myself. My main character lived in a treehouse in the real world, (#orphansforever) and once she got to the alternate world with the talking animals, the entire universe (which consisted of a small stone plaza surrounded by buildings but WHATEVER IT WAS GIANT TO ME) was split in two – light on one side, darkness on the other – and there was this giant fountain right smack-dab in the middle of it. It was pretty epic, guys. There was even this flying bird thing that dropped newspapers on everyone’s heads.

Too bad the core components of the story were awful.

Number Six – What did your first attempt at worldbuilding or mapmaking look like?

Ummmm… Actually, I think I have a picture of this!

. . .Ope, nope. I lost it.

However, I shall try and describe it.

Please sit back in your chair and imagine within your noodle minds a map filled with lumps of malformed land, forests with trees that actually look like mangled worms, and mountains that are actually just upside down V’s because that’s how Tolkein did it and Tolkein is master.

I really wish I had a picture to go along with this mental image, but sadly I have lost my Captian Jack Sparrow sketchbook. Please allow us to have a moment of silence for the lost Captain. . .

. . .

Okay, let’s move on shall we?

Number Seven – When was your first crush-on-your-own-character? I know it happened, don’t lie to me.

THIS NEVER HAPPENED.

NOT EVER.

GO AWAY.

Number Eight – What was the first character death you ever had to write and how did you handle it?

Ooh! I think I remember this one!

The first character death that I ever remember writing was for one of my favorite characters from The Dragon Elements — Lela.

Sadly, I do not remember her last name.

Or if she even had one.

However, her death was still severely traumatic for me. In my 13-14-year-old brain, it was the most beautiful, sacrificial death that had ever occurred in the history of fiction, and I, captured within the emotions of the moment, shed a single, beautiful tear in memory of my precious character as her glossy eyes reflected the blinking stars above her.

Looking back in retrospect, it was a very cliché moment. But it was my cliché moment, all the same, and it also happened to be the first time I had ever committed murder. So.

Look what you’ve done to me, Lela. I’m a psychopath now.

Number Nine – When did you first decide that your book needed a full-blown series?

HA. Does ever since Chapter One count? Every single story I try to write turns into a full-blown series. But do I ever actually write the series?

No. I give up halfway through book one.

But I think the very first book that I decided was going to be a full-blown series was, as always, The Dragon Elements. As you guys can probably tell by now, this was the story that really knocked me over the edge and demanded that I become a writer. After I finished that book. . .well, there really was no coming back after that, was there?

Number Ten – When was the first time you stepped out of your comfort zone to write a new genre?

You know, this is probably going to sound extremely bizarre, but I really don’t have a ‘comfortable’ genre. Whenever a story introduces itself into my head, it practically comes pre-fitted with a genre, and whatever that genre happens to be, I’m ready to write it.

However. That being said, I didn’t really write Dystopian — or even know what it was, for that matter — until I, along with practically every other living soul in the entire universe, read The Hunger Games and Divergent. Now, I didn’t read them right when they were at their peak and everyone was obsessing over them, but I did read them eventually, and that kind of sparked this whole new love within me for creepy dystopian worlds where everything was crumbled and ruined.

It also gave me a whole new love for plagiarism, as The Dragon Elements quickly became a terribly ripped-off version of The Hunger Games. #sooriginal

But yeah. Dystopian was kind of my branching out into the great unknown when it comes to genres. I think my first full-blown Dystopian story was DELETED (a story which I never finished, obviously [haha…DELETED was deleted…hahahaha…]) or The Podlings, which is a story that I’m actually hoping to revamp someday. Maybe. when we’re old and gray. Probably not.

Another genre I’ve never really written before is Science Fiction, but then a little thing I like to call everlost happened, so. . .yeah. Apparently I’m a Sci-Fi writer now. How lovely.

Number Eleven – What was it like using a prompt for the first time?

BLECH. I hate prompts. Prompts are gross. Prompts are constricting. Prompts physically hurt my creative ingenious and output.

BUT THEN AGAIN THEY ARE ALSO EXTREMELY FUN TO PLAY AROUND WITH, AMIRIGHT?

I think my first experience with prompts happened when I was extremely small. My mom — a.k.a. the greatest homeschool teacher/mom/person of ever — gave me and my siblings this writing prompt that had something to do with rewriting the tale of Cinderella. Now, I could try and just explain all of the epicness that was my first-ever fairytale retelling, but I think we can all agree that it would be much, much more fun and entertaining to just let you read the actual thing in all of its extremely embarrassing glory.

So here you go, dear beans. Smol Kenzie’s (possibly) very first prompt/fairytale retelling attempt:

(I have also decided to keep in all of the terrible punctuation and incorrect it’s’ and than’s for your complete enjoyment)

Prince Charming came to the first door. He knocked on it and waited for someone to open it.

Finally, an older man opened the door and looked at the prince.

“What do you want?” said he with a slight sneer.

Prince Charming was (as all princes are) used to this.

He looked at the man and said, “I have come to see your daughter. I am quite sure she was at my ball last night. If I may, I would like to ask her a question.”

The man looked as if he had won the lottery. He quickly went inside and hollered something that the prince couldn’t make out.

A young girl with beautiful brown hair came down the stairs and let the prince in.

“Hello” she said, blinking quite rapidly to show her flattery, even though it wasn’t very pretty.

“Hello” the prince said in a calm voice. “Could I ask you a question?”

If you went to a ball where a prince was going to choose a bride, and he came to your doorstep, wouldn’t you think he was going to ask you to marry him? Well. . .she did!

“Why yes, yes of course!” said the girl, blinking again.

The prince, who wasn’t very shy, and quite bold, didn’t waste any time.

“Could you try on this shoe for me?” he said, holding up the glittering glass slipper.

The girl’s face lost it’s enthusiasm as if the prince had asked her to be a maid. But she plopped into a chair, pulled off her shoe, and allowed the prince to put on the slipper. The only problem was, her foot was way too flabby, so even though the sock was still on, the skin went right over the shoe.

Disappointed, the prince left with the slipper to find a new foot.

The prince tried many houses with the same reaction. But there was still no lady who could fit into the glass slipper. Finally the prince came to the house of the ugly two stepsisters, and of course, Cinderella.

 

Knock, knock, knock, knock. There was somone at the door… Could it possibly be the prince? Was he coming to take one of her daughters?

“Cinderella!” called the evil stepmother. “Get the door or you’ll have to go to the dungeon for a week.”

Cinderella was in the bathroom helping Drizella, the older (and much fatter) of the two evil stepsisters get her hair brushed.

Drizella looked at Cinderella, then at the door. But before Drizella could block it with her massive body frame, Cinderella was out of the bathroom..

She went to the door and opened it. But what she saw made her gasp. The prince, the handsome prince was at her doorstep. But she knew that she couldn’t get married to him even if he asked her this very moment. So she said to Anastasia, the youngest of the stepsisters, “It’s for you…”

Cinderella ran to her room and locked the door.

“Oh godmother. What am I going to do?” said she, looking out the window.

With a small pop, her godmother was standing right behind her.

“Dear, what is the matter with you? Didn’t you like him? Better yet, love him?” Said the godmother with a little light in her eye.

Cinderella looked at her, but didn’t answer her question.

“He was holding the glass slipper I lost on my way back from the ball! The only person it fits is me! Oh, what am I to do?” she threw herself onto her bed and started to cry.

“What’s wrong with that?” said the godmother, looking rather confused. “Don’t you want the shoe to fit only you?”

“Oh no, godmother!” cried Cinderella, looking at the old lady. “I don’t think I could stand marrying that man! Didn’t you hear? He’s a loser! Of course, the only one that would know that is me…”

“Well, why would you only know?” said the godmother, looking at Cinderella, who was now pacing the floor. “Wouldn’t everyone who went to the ball have known this bit of information?”

“Oh, of course not, godmother!” said Cinderella. “I was the one he danced with all night. Barely anyone danced with him. Except, I bet everyone wanted to at the looks of him.”

Cinderella was deep in thought. If only she could figure out a plan to get rid of the prince!

“Godmother!” cried Cinderella in a rush of excitement. “Oh godmother! What if the shoe were to fit one of my stepsisters? Or better yet…” she said with a small smile. “What if it were to fit both of my stepsisters!”

“Oh that wouldn’t work!” said the godmother glumly. “Remember dear, he only danced with you. Plus, it only fits you, right?”

“Well, yes.” said Cinderella. “But you made it right?”

“Yes, I guess I did…” said the godmother, looking confused again.

“Yes, so if you made it, than couldn’t you make it bigger or smaller?” said Cinderella in a hurried voice.

“Ah, that I could do.” said the old lady. “Yes, I don’t want you to marry a ding-dong either… I shall use my magic for whatever you like.”

Cinderella hugged her godmother and listened to the sounds outside her door. Apparently, her evil stepmother did more for the prince than anyone else. Cinderella could hear her making some tea for the ‘big’ question the prince still had to ask.

Cinderella crept out the door and into the room.

“Ah!” said the evil stepmother, looking at Cinderella. “This is our maid. I hope she doesn’t bother you.”

Cinderella looked at her stepmother in a disgusted sort of way. But other than that, she didn’t say anything.

Meanwhile, the prince was looking at her ragged clothes, but he didn’t recognize her.

“Umm…” the prince cleared his throat. “Could I ask you girls a question?”

The evil stepmother looked at him and nodded, wondering if chose one of them by their smarts.

“Drizella?” said the prince. “Could you try this slipper on?”

Drizella looked at the prince for a long time. Finally, she came up with the fact that these were the wedding shoes, so she took of her other ones.

The godmother gave one wave of her wand and it grew to match the size of Drizella’s feet.

The prince put on the shoe and it fit just like magic.

Drizella looked overjoyed. She looked at her sister as if she were a bug, than went over to sit by the prince.

The prince, being the idiot he was, decided to try the shoe on Anastasia as well. Drizella was not happy about this, but didn’t say anything.

As the godmother gave a swish of her wand, it grew to match the size of Anastasia’s feet as well.

Cinderella looked at her godmother and whispered, “Wasn’t it supposed to just fit one?”

But the godmother replied, “I want to get rid of all of them dear. Plus, if you were right about him, he won’t notice.”

The godmother was right. Even though it fit both of the stepsisters, he didn’t notice at all.

“Will you both marry me?” he asked them.

They both replied yes. They were happy that they could stay together as sisters.

The evil stepmother also went to live at the castle, leaving Cinderella the whole house. She and her godmother lived a happy life.

Cinderella married the prince’s younger brother, who didn’t want to be a prince. And who was much more bright than his brother.

They had many children and lived like a normal family would. Of course, with the exception of there godmother, godfather, and godchildren.

THE END

I. . .honestly have no words for this, guys. I just. . .the flabby foot. The FLABBY. FOOT.

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??????

And Drizella’s massive body frame? Like. . .as opposed to her massive photo frame???

And that plot twist, though. Was anyone else expecting that? Cause I sure wasn’t.

Number Twelve – Opening line: share your first, your favorite, and your most recent.

Uhhhhhhh… I suppose the closest thing I have to my very first opening line was from that Cinderella retelling up there, so. . . Yeah. There you go for that one.

And next we have Favorite! Is it really that astonishing that I’m going to be using everlost for this one? Really?

I don’t think so.

But anyway, ON TO THE OPENING LINE!

“There once was a boy,

“Hair blue as the sea. . .”

Wow. Such gloriousness I have ne’er before seen with mine eye.

There’s actually more beneath those lines, but that’s a little more than I’m comfortable sharing right now, so. . .yeah. This is all you’re getting for right now, folks.

As for my most recent first line, that would still be the one from everlost; however, for the sake of entertainment purposes, I shall be sharing a new opening line that has just recently spawned itself into my brain. It’s rather simple, but it’s that simplicity that made me fall in love with it in the first place.

“I just killed a man.”

ISN’T IT ABSOLUTE PERFECTION??? No stealing it. It’s mine.

Number Thirteen – What was your first ending like?

CONFESSION TIME! I’ve only ever had four endings for my stories. One was a short story, one a novella, and the second two were actual full-length novels.

My very first ending, then, was for The Dragon Elements, which was the first story (besides that Cinderella thing up there) that I ever actually stuck with and finished, rather than throwing it deep into the fires of Mount Doom and pretending like it never existed.

I’m pretty sure you guys could probably guess how The Dragon Elements ended. There was death. There was rain. There was resurrection because I regretted the death.

There was a cliffhanger ending that never got resolved.

It was, in essence, the perfect ending.

Not.

Number Fourteen – What was the first ship you ever wrote and, be honest, did you make them a ship name?

This one is slightly embarrassing. . . .

The first ship I ever wrote was actually two ships, because I was young and naïve and two ships are better than one, apparently. But since I wrote them loooooooooong before I knew that shipping was even a thing, they did not have ship names. Which I am very, very thankful for.

ultimate shame = prevented

But anyway, the very first ‘ships’ I ever wrote were Tyrone and Lela, and Puck and Leia.

Yes. That is the same Lela that died. #oops?

Yes. Puck is a weird name.

Yes. Puck is a dragon in human form.

Yes. Puck actually stands for Ptolemy Eugene Christopher Kenneth.

Yes. His name should therefore be Peck, but he’d rather be called Puck than Peck, wouldn’t you?

(I cannot believe I still remember this about his name. . .)

Also, Leia is an elf. You know. . .in case you were wondering that.

Number Fifteen – What year was your first NaNo?

Finally a question that I can answer with the utmost certainty!!!

My very first NaNoWriMo was in November of 2015, and it was glorious.

Even though I gave up and failed miserably.

Ah well. Failure is a valuable part of life, yes?

Besides, I’m planning on crushing this year’s NaNo, so REVENGE SHALL BE ACQUIRED!

Number Sixteen – Which novel is memorable for being the first one you ever gave up on?

Oh goodness, I’ve given up on so many stories over the years, it isn’t even funny anymore. It’s honestly more of a rarity for me to stick with a story than to throw it in the garbage bin and forget it ever happened, but I think the most memorable one to date — though it wasn’t the very first — has to be RESET. I’m still a tiny bit disappointed in myself over that one. It wasn’t until I was well over 50k into it that I realized it was not the story I was meant to be telling. It wasn’t that the plot was extremely awful or anything, but the characters were just so. . .blech.

Very, very blech.

But I guess giving up on RESET opened up the door through which everlost manifested, so I’m extremely grateful for that. Perhaps I’ll go back someday and rewrite RESET, but for right now, my focus is on bigger, better projects.

Projects that hopefully do not include stereotypical strong females and how heavy and unnatural a gun feels in their palms.

Number Seventeen – When did you first share your work with someone else and how did they react?

Okay, so this question could go a couple ways. Does this mean, like, the first time I ever shared my work? Like with my family members? Because I honestly don’t remember this. Every time I’ve shared my work with my little family, they’ve always been extremely supportive and encouraging, and my mom is literally the greatest beta reader ever.

You know how every single writer alive says not to let your family be your beta readers because they’ll be baised and won’t understand what to look for and BLAH BLAH-BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAAAAH. . .?

Yeah. Don’t listen to that advice. That advice is a dirty diaper.

Now, I realize that maybe I won the jackpot and completely lucked out with this, but I’m serious when I say that my mom is an incredible beta. I don’t know how she manages to not be biased (because her daughter is obviously the most amazing writer ever) but she always manages to find the things that I completely overlook. Character problems, the little plot holes that I accidentally let slip because of my closeness to the story, confusing plotlines. . . She finds them all, helps me work through them, and even helps me brainstorm new ways to fix it.

I cannot even put into words how excited I am to have her read everlost.

And also how terrified I am, hahahahahahahaha… #help

So as for the first time I shared my work with my little family, I’m pretty sure they were extremely supportive and encouraging, even if what they were reading was the worst story imaginable.

Now, that’s my experience with sharing my stories with my family, but then there’s also another time worth mentioning —

The time I submitted a short story to an anthology publishing company.

This one was. . .slightly less happy, to put it nicely.

A couple years back, I wrote this fairytale retelling/dystopian type short story about Little Red Riding Hood. I called it The Hunt. It was creepy. It was weird.

It was really, really bad.

I honestly have no idea what possessed me to send this in to a publishing company. My only guess is that I was so close to the story that I thought it was absolute perfection — even though literally E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E who read it was completely confuzzled as to what was supposed to be happening??? — and therefore these publishing people could obviously find nothing wrong with it. Right?

WRONG. Turns out that they pretty much hated it. Oh, they put their rejection politely, of course, but it was pretty much like softening a sucker punch with a slab of butter.

It was slimy and greasy and pretty much just made everything that much worse.

. . .

Okay, so maybe I’m over exaggerating a bit. BUT STILL. IT HURT, OKAY? But honestly, after reading through the first few pages of the short a few weeks ago, I kind of see why they rejected it.

It was pretty bad. Like really bad.

So yes. That would be my most memorable first experience with sharing my work with someone outside of my little circle of favorite individuals. #fun

Let’s just say that I have learned my lesson when it comes to listening to your betas. If you have four people telling you that they’re confused, there’s probably something confusing about your story. Probably.

Maybe. . .

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All right! That is it for this tag, folks! I’d like to give yet another HUGE thank you to Kate for tagging me!! This tag was absolutely amazing, and I hope my slightly confusing?? answers were pleasing to thee. *bows dramatically*

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to tag anyone else for this, but since it’s a tag, I’m just gonna bend the rules a bit and do it anyway! So without further ado, here are the peeps who I’m calling out to do this tag next!

— Kenzie’s Taggees (yes, that’s a word) —

• Hanne T from rockandminerals4him
• Kellyn Roth from Reveries
• Madeline from Short & Snappy
• Kirsten from Simple Love
• and YOU! because I am too lazy to link back to a thousand people and it’s already nearing posting time. #procrastination

So there you have it, guys! TAG!!! YOU’RE IT!!!! *slaps tag on your face*

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talk to me, peasants!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for today, folks! I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve really learned a lot about my smol writing career through this tag.

Like how I thought it was physically possible for flabby skin to literally stay inside of a sock yet STILL COME OUT OVER THE SHOE. Like how. How in the world did this even happen. HOW.

But anyway, now that I’ve answered all of these questions, it’s finally YOUR turn! Who was your first villain? Have you ever developed a crush on your own fictional character? (quite unlike me. hahaha…haha…ha.) How did your first character massacre go? And most importantly — has your foot ever been so fat that it’s stayed within the sock, but the flabby skin has gone over the shoe because I AM STILL CONFUSED ABOUT THIS GUYS.

As always, until next time. . .

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*