Posted in Villain School 101

Villain School 101 — The One About Clichés

good morning, cyberspace!

With all the story excitement buzzing around me lately — what with me actually finishing the second draft of everlost (and also having a real live human actually read it hahahahahahahaha #help) and already diving straight into some minor-ish revisions (someone please help me.) — I’ve been finding myself thinking a lot about the craft of building a story.

Relatable heroes, witty (and at times slightly corny) dialogue, vivid storyworlds, understandable and heart-wrenching character arcs. . . These are but a few of the necessary ingredients in the delicious cherry pie that is a good book. But above all these things — sitting high and proud upon the perfectly blended crust — is my personal, completely unbiased favorite — the ice cream.

Or, as it is more commonly known to the average mortal man — VILLAINS.

I love villains. If you’ve been floating around this here blog for any length of time, you are most likely already well aware of this fact, as it is blatantly obvious in my extreme and totally normal obsession with Jim Moriarty.

However. Although Moriarty is complete perfection in every way, shape, and form, it is with the deepest regret that I must admit that he is not the only villain around. There are many villains out there in the world of books. Tons of villains. Some of them — such as Moriarty — are created in such a divine way that they are 100% worthy of my rather unnatural obsessing. Others, however, are more along the lines of meh.

And you do not want a meh villain, my good sir.

But what makes a villain meh, you might ask? What qualities should a vile villain have? What makes a villain, well. . .good?

And most importantly, how can you create a villain that is so masterfully evil, so deceptively twisted, so warped beyond reason and knowledge that it is absolutely impossible not to love him?

How can we — young, inexperienced writers that we are — create the next great villain?

Well, never you fear, my friends, for it is this precise question that has led me to begin what I like to call —

. . . Villain School 101 . . .

Villain School 101 is, in a nutshell, a currently limitless blog series about everything and anything related to villains. Through this series, we shall:

  • take a closer look at what makes or breaks a villain
  • learn how to make a cruel, ruthless villain painfully relatable
  • say the word villain way too much
  • listen to me rant and rave about my top ten best and worst villains of all time
  • poke and prod at the most offensive villainous clichés
  • discover how to shatter through the typical boundaries and learn to create a beautifully unique antagonist that will totally set your story apart from all others (or your money back, guaranteed)

Sounds fun, amiright?

Basically, my hope for this series is that I can finally take some of my carefully gleaned opinions knowledge and pass it along to you, my beautiful readers, so that you may go forth and create some truly riveting antagonists that I may someday fawn and flail over.

And also it is a chance for me to rant about super lame antagonists. Because I like to rant. Obviously.

And luckily for me, today’s post happens to be about Villainous Clichés! Which means that I get to vomit my humble yet always correct opinions out into the Great and Terrible Cyberspace for all to see and acknowledge. #selfless

But it also means that hopefully, by discussing all of these frequently overdone clichés, you might be able to pick up on a few tips and tricks as to what not to do when creating your villain, thereby making your villain that much more unique.

Like Moriarty. Because Moriarty is perfection.

And so, without further ado, let the ranting begin!



Villain School 101 — The One About Clichés . . .

Cliché No. 1 — The Sneeeeeeeeeeer.

Ah yes. Coming in at number one on our villainous cliché chart is none other than The Sneer. I know you know what I’m talking about.

Our young, dashing hero — let’s name him Bob — has just encountered the Vile Villain for the very first time. Now Bob, our sweet, innocent little bean who never truly wanted to be a hero in the first place, is trapped in Villain-Face’s dark, gloomy mansion, tied masterfully to a chair and completely unable to escape. His forever best friend (Wilson) has just been murdered right before his very eyes by the evil villain, who forced poor Bob to watch as the life slowly drained out of him. Now, as the villain rises up from the remains of Wilson’s dead corpse, he turns slowly to Bob the Hero, the six-inch blade that had just slit Wilson’s throat glinting in his hand and–!

. . .he sneers.

Wow. What a shock.

Perhaps you haven’t noticed this, but practically every. single. villain. that has ever been created by a writer’s hand sneers AT LEAST ONE TIME. Possibly more. In fact, if they’re truly evil, they might even get a good five or six sneers in on a single page. And that’s all before they flip into their overly exaggerated rant about how they are going to cleave the world of (INSERT WHATEVER THING MADE THEM ANGRY WHEN THEY WERE A WEE LAD)

I guess the whole sneering thing stems from the obvious fact that — HEY! Sneers are creepy. But at this point, it’s just kind of. . .weird. And overdone. And basically makes the wickedness we want to convey in our villains about as scary as a pile of cheese.

And while I get that a sneer is an actual expression that people use to convey disgust or viciousness or whatever it is that they’re trying to convey with a curled lip and a snarl, I still stand firmly beside the fact that The Sneer is GREATLY overused in the world of villains. Villains are supposed to be evil and demented, yes, but being warped and slightly sadistic does NOT equate to exposing your teeth to the elements after every sentence. Unless, of course, you have broccoli caught in your gums. But I digress.

(NOTE – I am completely guilty of this particular cliché. actually, i’m guilty of practically ALL these clichés, but HAHAHAHAHAHAHA whatever.)

Cliché No. 2 — The “Dark”.

Question. . . What’s creepier than a sneer?

Answer. . . Darkness.

Dark hair. Dark cloak. Dark boots. Dark mansion. Dark expressions. Dark soul. Dark darkness. — this villain is so dark that he makes a pitch-black night look like a mid–day sun in comparison. Everything about him is gloom and doom. Everything he touches dies.

In fact, in some circumstances, our villain even has the power to wield the darkness.

Because he’s just that cool, obviously.

Just once I’d like a villain who has control of the light. Let him blind his enemies using the scorching powers of the sun. Let him give himself a glowing aura that makes it impossible for peasants such as Bob (that’s our hero, by the way. do try to keep up, Smithy.) to look upon his perfect being without burning up their retinas. Let him have a continually growing stash of unicorn-shaped sleeping masks because the light follows him everywhere, keeping him wide awake in the wee hours of the night.

Someone give me a light villain, for crying out loud.

And let’s also completely ignore the fact that I totally gave my first villain power over darkness HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #fail.

Cliché No. 3 — The Infatuation With Blood and Death and Gore and More Death.

This probably adds in with the ‘creepiness’ factor, but. . .what is up with all the villains being obsessed with death and gore?

I mean, seriously now. Doesn’t anyone else find this just a tiny bit odd? Is there some sort of pledge you have to sign before becoming a villain that legally binds you to relish in every single murder you commit? Do they all hail from some sort of blood donation organization that makes them neutralized to the sight and smell of it?

I get freaked out thinking I’ll accidentally stab someone just by carrying a steak knife to the dishwasher, but these guys are over here gleefully slicing holes in people’s guts like they’re Swiss cheese and twirling their crimson blades in fascination as blood oozes down into their fingernails, all while sneering maliciously and cackling into the foul wind as a dark storm brews above them.

There’s just. . .there’s something wrong with this, guys. I mean, YES. Villains are supposed to be cruel and ruthless. YES. Villains are supposed to murder people. (#fun)  But just once I would like to have a villain who couldn’t stand the sight of blood and guts and gore, you know? I want a villain who has to force his henchmen to commit a murder for him because the sight of death makes him puke. I want a villain who’s totally OCD and can’t stand touching a corpse, let alone plunging a dagger into one. I want a villain who has to clear the room when his henchmen prepare to decapitate the hero because he can’t stand the sight of a severed head rolling across the floor like a bowling ball.

I NEED THIS VILLAIN, GUYS. I NEED IT. Which means I’m probably going to write it someday. So.

#DON’TSTEALIT,IT’SMINE. *swats your hand vigorously*

Cliché No. 4 — The Lengthy Speech.

I’ll be honest: this is a cliché that I’ve read and heard about many a time. I am not the first person to say this, and I will most certainly not be the last.

However, it needs saying once again.

One of the strangest and yet most overdone clichés for villains is The Lengthy Speech. For those of you who are lucky enough to have no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to paint you a picture.

Our Villain is currently on the cusp of a major victory. Bob the Hero is nearly defeated. He is tied, gagged, and completely unable to save himself. Wilson, his final hope of rescue, is dead.

He is alone.

All that remains for the villain to do is to deal the final blow, and yet. . .

. . .he decides to chat. Right now. In the heat of the climax.

WHY.

Right when our sneering, vile villain who is cloaked in darkness and death could swing the butt of a sword and conk our hero’s lights out for good, he decides to do a play-by-play of A) his entire scheme to take over the world (because that won’t backfire at ALL), B) all his childhood traumas that apparently scarred him for life, or C) some other random thing that takes up a solid ten pages (or however many it takes for some completely unrelated Joe to come and save Bob the Hero from what we all thought was certain doom.)

It’s during long, aggravating monologues like this that I find myself wishing the villain would just kill the hero already. It would certainly be a lot less painful than hearing all the gory details about how the villain’s nose boil turned him into the terrible creature that he is today.

Cliché No. 5 — The Forever Alone.

Perhaps it was that nose boil on our young antagonist’s face when he was but a wee lad (why do I keep saying this) Perhaps it was the fact that he was constantly sneering at all the pretty girls.

Perhaps it was because he constantly had blood dripping down his hands and a dark raincloud trailing about him, snapping and sizzling with ominous thunder.

Whatever the case, there is one fact about villains that remains tried and true throughout the years — they are forever and eternally alone.

I’m guessing this stems from the fact that villains don’t deserve true love — or possibly that if they had found true love, they wouldn’t have become a villain in the first place — but I am here to tell you that this just seems false.

Just because a character is innately evil does not mean they shouldn’t find their Happily Ever After. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that they deserve it more than the hero, who we all know is going to end up with whatever girl he’s been secretly crushing on for the past ten years because of how good and special he is now.

But what about our villain? Doesn’t he deserve to find someone as cruel and ruthless as himself to reign at his side forever? (or at least however long it takes for them to blow up the world with firecrackers, of course.)  Can’t a guy find someone who shares his ultimate goal of ridding the world of the annoyingly good-natured hero by strangling him to death with his bare toes?

I don’t know about you guys, but there seems to be something just a tiny bit off about the whole idea that there is only ONE bad guy with a brain in an entire universe of characters. Sure, the villain always seems to recruit a few henchmen monkeys to help him in his endeavors (who we all know can easily be taken down by Bob the Hero with a few good kicks and one well-aimed Super-Punch), but I am tired of henchmen monkeys. I want real villains who actually stand a chance against the heroes. I want best friends bent on wreaking havoc across the universe since birth. I want married villains who are totally in love and totally psycho. I want villains who stay villains when they find their true loves.

And by golly, I WANT A VILLAIN FAMILY.

I want a villain family with a three-year-old who knows how to use a machete, a ten-year-old who burns things and blames it on Fabio the tortoise, and a seventeen-year-old girl who is totally an assassin, but no one can actually prove it. I want a villain family that is completely at war with the rest of the world, who cause mass destruction and chaos wherever they go, and are also extraordinarily fond of the Italian restaurant down the street because apparently they love pasta*.

Villain families, guys. Villain families. Lonesome antagonists are totally overrated. Let’s start doing something a little more unique. Let’s give our villains something — or rather, someone — to fight for.

*ends rant*

(*oh my word I am literally getting the hugest plot bunny of ever over here help)



talk to me, peasants!

Well, that ended up being super ranty. Oops. But despite the fact that I basically just shouted in your face for three hours, the real thing we need to focus on here is that I AM FINALLY BACK! (WOOT WOOT!!!) Or rather, my normal posts are back. And that, my friends, is something to celebrate.

With ranting, apparently. And also cookies.

But let’s focus on the questions now, shall we? I want to know your thoughts! What do you think of Villain School 101? What do you think about villains? What are some of your favorite Villainous tropes or clichés? Have you noticed any of the clichés I mentioned here in books, or am I basically just an oblivious Nutter Butter who has absolutely no clue what I’m talking about? (this is literally me, so it’s okay if you call me out on it.) Have you ever used (or are using?) any of these clichés? I’m currently using The Sneer, The Dark, and The Infatuation With Blood and Death and Gore and Also More Death. (because it’s not like i should follow my own advice or anything, lol, help me) Are there any clichés that I missed in this totally expandable list? Any you disagree with? What are your thoughts on Villain Families? (because I am totally in love with this idea asdfghjkl) How many questions can The Kenzie possibly ask before running out of material? Let us talk about ALL OF THE VILLAINOUS THINGS down below, okay? Okay.

As always, until next time. . .

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*

 

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Author:

writer // dreamer // full-time dragon enthusiast // Moriarty // Jesus Freak // I also enjoy flinging cookies everywhere. Preferably at your face.

65 thoughts on “Villain School 101 — The One About Clichés

  1. I AM SO HAPPY THAT VILLAIN 101 IS HAPPENING. I can’t tell you how excited I am for this series, Kenzie. 😀 WE NEED ALL OF THE VILLAIN FAMILIES THAT RULE OVER LIGHT, THAT HATES GORE, AND DOESN’T SNEER AT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.

    I’d totally binge that story so much. MAKE IT KENZIE, MAKE IT. I shall be waiting after you publish Everlost~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ACK, ME TOO! XD And it just sort of popped into my brain the other day, so LET’S HOPE THIS WORKS OUT OKAY. XD Ugh, I TOTALLY agree. I need more villain families in my life. And I am DEFINITELY writing this story, haha! I literally got three or four plot bunnies while writing this post, so I’m pretty sure I need to get cracking on some of these villains before they hop away…

      Oh goodness. Everlost won’t be published for a VEEEEEERRRRRY long time. But perhaps I can start working on a new story whilst editing everlost…? XD *is secretive*

      Like

  2. Oh dear. I feel like one of the most cliche writers out there now. And I was trying to be NOT cliche! You want to know how many of those I use (you’re going to want to prepare yourself for this…)? *takes deep breath* Every single one of them, basically. #oops. Not so much the dark one, but definitely all the others. Including the cliche that was sort of mentioned about the big bad thing that had happened in Big Bad Villain’s past that made him turn into the Big Bad Monster he is now. Ughhhhh… I need to rethink my whole life now. XD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness, no!!!! Don’t rethink your entire life!!! I literally am using at least three or four of these. So. I AM SUPER CLICHE TOO. XD #clichetwins.

      Honestly, I think it’s natural for a villain to have A Big Bad Something happen in their past. Having a broken or tragic past makes us understand why they are the way that they are, which is a GOOD thing! I just feel that writers sometimes think that’s the ONLY thing that can make their villain understandable, and I don’t think it is. (but that is for another Villain School 101 post. XD ) I hope I totally didn’t just crush your entire soul??? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LIGHTHEARTED RANT, I’M SO SORRY!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha, no I’m joking. XD I guess I’ll just have to live with my sad villain… 😛 But he needs work anyway. He keeps on justifying himself to my MC, and it’s ANNOYING because he’s supposed to be the EVIL BEHIND ALL EVIL and is perfectly in control so why should he feel insecure??? Anyways, yeah. He’s not really cooperating with his parent, so I’m gonna need to give him a talking to. XD

        Yeah, ok! I mean, I guess it’s either something bad happened to them in the past, or they were just naturally born evil, which never really happens in real life. XD

        OH NO, YOU’RE TOTALLY FINE!!! XD I enjoyed reading all of the different cliches, and especially those snippets about Bob, loll!! Poor Bob. I think you should come and sit here by me for a little while. *pats seat invitingly* XD

        But yes you should totally do more Villain 101!! 🙂 ❤ ❤

        Like

        1. Oh good. XD Awwwwwwww! Poor little guy! He sounds more like an anti-villain type than an actual hardcore villain to me… Perhaps there is a possibility for redemption later on? OOOH! OOOH! Definitely try a pitchfork. Those usually get my characters to cooperate REAL nicely!

          Exactly! Unless you are me, of course. #superevil #bornthisway XD

          EEEP!!! I am so glad!!! I had so much fun writing this, so I’m really excited to continue the adventure!! I’m not sure which one to do next… I’m thinking ways to make a villain relatable…? Haha! I think Bob needs some cookies. He’s been through quite a lot lately. XD

          I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!! <333

          Like

  3. Yesss a villain family! *Goes of writing JUST that. (And will try not to unconsciously recreate a version of the Adams family who weren’t exactly villains but were totally the darkest creatures on the block).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. OH MY WORD!!! XD I was totally thinking Adams family when writing that part of the post!!!! XD XD XD *dies laughing for three thousand years*

      And YESSSSS!!!! GIMME THE VILLAIN FAMILIES!!! *cheers you on with pompoms*

      Like

  4. I am keeping my Dark Villains of Darkness.
    It’s just sometimes I have my Dark Heroes of Darkness too.
    And they can always WIELD THE DARKNESS!!!

    An OCD villain who can’t stand the sight of guts would be really great for heroes who need to escape. The Dark Lord has just caught the hero, bound him to the chair. He cackles and says good shall lose this day! Then he leaves the room to let his henchmen finish the job cuz he can’t stand it. Bob easily overpowers the approaching henchman and escapes.

    Makes more sense then the villain leaving the hero hanging over the Slow Deathtrap of Death, without any supervision whatsoever so he can conveniently escape.

    I love the idea of the teenage girl assassin in a villain family. And her own family doesn’t know. She’s just sitting there, texting on her cellphone, her mom turns away for a moment, and next thing you know, a guy across the street drops dead and her mom glances back at her. The girl is still texting, it would appear. xD
    But this villain family description you gave sounds very much like they are obsessed with blood and gore.

    My villains are also obsessed with blood and gore. At least they don’t sneer. They grin evilly, or they look outright angry. Some of them like having very sparkly things too.

    And some of them are just dark ninjas who are forever alone…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DUDE. KEEP THE DARK VILLAINS OF DARKNESS. We definitely still need those villains! I would be severely disappointed if all the Dark Villains just vanished. Those are some of my favorites. (what can I say. I love clichés, apparently. XD)

      OH MY WORD, THESE STORY SNIPPETS. XD I absolutely LOVE the one with the teenage girl texting. That’s hilarious! XD (on a side note, I’m actually planning on writing this villain family now. I kind of fell in love with my morbid little villains… [and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA what are you talking about. they’re totally not obsessed with death and gore… totally. {i’m sorry but that cliché will forever and always be the bane of my existence. it is too much fun. XD }]) UGH! WHAT IS UP WITH THE SLOW DEATHTRAP OF DEATH??? That’s another one that never really made sense. You’ve spent all your time and energy and THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE trying to catch this guy, and then you just LEAVE HIM??? Honestly, if I were the villain, I would shackle our wrists together so he could never escape. XD

      Grinning evilly is definitely acceptable. An evil grin is much more creepy than a sneer anyway. XD OOH! Sparkly things!
      Dark ninjas who are forever alone?? I am in love with this idea. XD

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dark Villains are my favorites too! 🙂

        Please feel free to steal the Texting Teenager Terminator. xD
        You know, if you have villains obsessed with gore, there’s no way someone is going to read that story and think, “Man, this villain isn’t actually THAT evil…how boring.” xD
        Seriously, the villain should at least WATCH to make sure the hero dies, and then if that doesn’t work, he’ll come down there and do the job himself!

        Evil grins are so much more creepy and scary than sneers. My villains will be terrifying.
        Yessss!!!

        Like

        1. #twins

          Haha! I don’t think I’ll steal your idea, simply because I hate taking other people’s ideas (but it is SOO good…), but I’m still cooking some ideas for this family… They’re gonna be great… XD
          RIGHT?! Perhaps being obsessed with death and gore ISN’T a cliché?? APPARENTLY I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. Everyone should probably be aware that getting writing lessons from Kenzie is 99.9% determined to fail. XD
          EXACTLY. At least WE would make good villains.

          I AGREE TENFOLD. Hahahahahaha!!! Your villains WILL be terrifying! Especially if they’re heads fall off whilst grinning creepily…

          Liked by 1 person

          1. #Agreed

            Hmm…Perhaps you’re right. Maybe someday I will come up with my own version of this villain family instead…

            You know, it probably isn’t a cliche for a villain. Or at least, if some readers THINK it is, it probably isn’t a cliche for villainous people in REAL life. 😐 Well that turned dark…

            No, no, it’s not terrifying when the villain’s head falls off, then it’s just great.
            Unless the villain is an undead zombie and keeps moving forward without his head to stab the helpless protagonist. While grinning. Yes, that sounds creepy.

            I also have a story idea with a lot of monsters of varying levels of hostility, so I need to figure out different villainous styles for them…

            Liked by 1 person

            1. YESSSS! Our families can be neighbors. XD

              True, true. I think it’s kind of a Villain Necessity to be okay with death. But I still think it’d be fun to have a squeamish villain… Just once. Maybe. XD

              XD This is true, as well! XD Falling heads are the best. XD
              Oh. Yeah okay. That is kind of creepy… Let us hope that our villains are not demented zombies????

              OOOOOH! That story sounds awesome!!! Writing monsters would be SO much fun… I’ve got a story that’s SORT OF Monster-ish, but it’s more on the verge of fantastical creature. XD

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Bwahahaha! Yes, that sounds great!

                One squeamish villain would be interesting.

                Yeah, I don’t think there will be zombies in my story, even if there’s every other kind of monster possible. 😛

                Nice, and fantastical creatures would be nice, especially if you make them look prettier than the ones in Fantastic Beasts. I didn’t like those quite so much overall.
                My monster story is presently just a premise I’m slowly adding tidbits too.

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Perfect! It’s settled then. They can live side-by-side on West Cranberry Lane. XD XD XD

                  Definitely!

                  You know, I don’t think I’ve ever even CONSIDERED writing about zombies? That’s not exactly my favorite kind of story, I guess… I’ve never really been into the whole rotting carnivorous flesh thing…

                  Awwwwww! But I LOVED Fantastic Beasts!!!! That little Niffler was ADORABLE!!!!! XD But yeah, I think writing about fantastic beasts would be really fun… But less beast-y-ish and more. . .CREATURE-ish. If that makes any sense. XD
                  Oh my word, same!!!!!! XD XD XD I’ve got a vague idea, but I’m not hastily plotting away at it. I’m letting the ideas trickle in… Right now I’ve got an angry goblin-king, though, so I’m well on my way to beginning the adventure. XD

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Alright, I have noted down the address. xD

                    I’ve never thought of making a zombie story, maybe I might have a Halloweeny monster story with ONE zombie, but it would be some kind of parody or whatever. But yeah, I don’t like the decomposing corpse grossness, so…other monsters are better.

                    I did like it, there were some beasts that were really pretty, but the ones that WEREN’T pretty went all the way to ugly and weird…I wanted some more pretty creatures.

                    Exactly! Ooh, a goblin-king sounds good! I think my goblins have clan chiefs or something, but there’s something very storyful about a goblin king. However, I did decide to have an Evil Stepmother Queen in this story. >:D

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. Wonderful! I shall send a care package tomorrow.

                      AHA! We are on the same page, here, then! XD Lovely. It’s good to know that there’s a fellow zombie-dislike-r in the world. XD

                      Oh yeah, that I do have to agree with. XD But I think I still ended up liking them, even though they WERE a little weird… OH! What did you think of Pickett??? Wasn’t he the most adorable little thing EVER????

                      I know, right??? A Goblin King just sounds so. . .FANTASTICAL. Which is what I’m going for with this story, so…yay??? XD Oooh! An Evil Stepmother Queen!!!! Me likey!!!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. xD

                      Indeed!

                      Pickett was cute. I also liked the Thunderbird (of course) and the thingie that changes size.

                      It is so Fantastical! I’m imagining crazy, twisting caverns and mushrooms and goblins wandering about as a girl sneaks through with a little goblin guide or two. Maybe I should take this plot bunny to my files.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. YESSSS! I’m glad you like Pickett!!!! And I think I liked the Thunderbird… Wasn’t his name Henry or something??? XD And EEP YES!!! That thingie that changes sizes was ADORABLE!!! Did we already talk about the Niffler??? I really liked the Niffler…

                      Yesssssssss…. XD Actually, there IS a girl in my story. Except…she’s kind of weird. Apparently it is 100% impossible for me to write about normal little girls. Aha. #oops. I LOVE THE MUSHROOMS. XD Definitely write about the mushrooms!!!!!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. The niffler was a real trouble maker. xD

                      I think it’s understandable that a girl dealing with a goblin king is kinda weird. xD And I can’t write socially well-adjusted characters.

                      Some of the mushrooms probably glow, cuz fantasy and caves needing lighting…

                      Like

                    5. He really was!! XD

                      True… I guess someone who as to go through what she went through WOULD be kind of…odd. I like her, though. She’s very fiery. SAME. What is socially well-adjusted, anyway?? Certainly not anybody I know!!! XD XD XD

                      YESSSS!!! And they glow this faintly bruised blue!!!!! Because those are cool…. And they’re POISONOUS!!!!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    6. Hehe, well, I might be able to write a couple of socially well-adjusted people. xD I wrote a smidge of Willowbrook, and realized a conflict in the story could simply be that the three girls are friends, but Diandra goes to a different school house SO THEY AREN’T TOGETHER ALL THE TIME!!!! The 13 year-olds are crushed. 😛 xD

                      Hmm…I imagine the goblins would eat some of the mushrooms, but perhaps there are different kinds. They save the glowy ones for lighting, I guess.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    7. AWWWWWWWW!!!! Oh my word, that is the most adorable thing EVER!!!!!!! *squeals softly* ALSO I AM JEALOUS. I don’t think I could write a socially well-adjusted person even if my life depended on it. Every one of my characters are either introverted hermits or crazy axe-murderers…

                      Ooh, true. But then there’s going to be that really weird third-cousin Goblin that eats one of the glowing mushrooms and ends up turning blue and glow-y and basically like a living glow worm. XD

                      Like

                    8. Weeeellll…I haven’t actually written much of it yet, so maybe I CAN’T write socially well-adjusted people yet. XD. But I can imagine a tiny story conflict, but it is TOO TINY!

                      Des: Trade ya conflict levels.
                      Elvyla: No, thank you.
                      Des: You sure you don’t want crushing despair and galactic doom?
                      Elvyla: Quite sure, sir.

                      Glowy goblins, something went wrong. XD

                      Liked by 1 person

                    9. HAHA! Right?? I could try to write a socially well-adjusted person and give them all the necessary traits necessary for them to BE socially adjusted, but in the end. . .axe murderer.

                      OH MY WORD!!! XD XD XD It’s like their swapping sandwiches at lunch. XD

                      Definitely. . . *nods* XD

                      Like

  5. On the one hand, yESSS. On the other hand… I’m a little disturbed, Kenzie. xP (You want a three-year-old who chops people up with a machete??)

    But that mONOLOGUE IS JUST SO OVERDONE, I agree.
    “Mwahaha, I have you now, Bob!” *checks watch* *sighs* “Why is your sidekick NEVER on time. Now I have to give a time-filling bitter-but-also-sneeringly-arrogant speech about why I like black. AGAIN. One of these days I’m not going to wait for him to come and rescue you, you know that?”

    And while we need to make sure our villains’ actions and life choices are ultimately denounced as wrong… I want to see your married villains being psychotic together. 😉 (I also want to see your villain who can’t stand the gruesomeness!) (And on a slightly different topic, not all bad people literally stab/behead people! Most psychopaths are just emotionally manipulative, I believe? and other bad guys might electronically rob banks or something.)

    Looking forward to the new series, Kenzie! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, what can I say? I’m slightly demented, apparently. XD BUT I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE POST!!!! (I think you liked it, at least?? XD ) And hahahahahaha YESSS!!!! I think I shall name him Charlie. Yep. His name is now Charlie… And the teen girl is named Charlotte… And the ten-year-old kid needs a name starting a C now, too… Christopher? Or Chuck… Possibly Chuckie..?

      OH MY WORD! This. This is perfection. XD I am absolutely in LOVE with this! *dies* It reminds me of a really bad villain who doesn’t know how to be a villain and who KIND OF secretly likes battling his arch-nemesis. XD

      Oh yeah, I definitely agree with that! But YESSSSS!!! I would LOVE a psychotic married villain couple!! It’d just be so perfect…. XD (Oh my word, same!!! I actually had a plot bunny about that one… It made me laugh. XD And YES! I definitely agree with this! I feel like we need more of those kinds of villains in our stories, as well! Especially the kind that electronically rob banks. XD)

      EEEP! Thank you so much, Jem!!! I’m really looking forward to it, too!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

                1. Oooh… I was thinking more something along the lines of Alice In Wonderland-y, but I SERIOUSLY JUST GOT ANOTHER PLOT BUNNY WHAT ON EARTH. Jethan, every single time I talk to you, the plot bunnies begin multiplying. WHY. XD

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Secretly I’m a bunny breeder? I HAVE NO IDEA! HAVE ALL THE PLOT BUNNIES EVER! I know what it is! Since I have such a struggle consistently writing, but you do write more consistently, my subconscious flings story ideas at you so that YOU can write them, and they would exist far sooner than if I tried to write them myself. xD

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. I wouldn’t put it past you, to be honest. XD I think you could start up a shop for plot bunnies. You’d make a fortune. XD

                      Ohhhhhh! Perhaps this is it!!!! XD Except I’m a super slow writer, so…..? I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to write these????? XD XD XD

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. I did have a thing in a comic about the Mad Bunnies of Disorder. Clearly related to my plot bunnies. I often have white bunnies show up in my stories…at least the comedies.

                      We shall race each other like snails then!

                      Like

      1. Hah, yes, I did like it! (Are there any more names starting with “Char”, since your villain parents seem to have a trend? also they could maybe have a bit of a thing for fires?? ;P)

        Okay, I DEFINITELY need to read more about your anti-gruesomeness villain plot bunny!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh good!! XD I AM SO GLAD!!!! (OOOOOH! How about JUST Char??? Because he’s constantly lighting things on fire and blaming it on the tortoise, and it fits in with the “Char” name theme, and OH MY WORD, CAN I USE THIS??? Bless you, Jem. BLESS YOU. *hugs*

          Haha! Basically it involves paper bags for hyperventilation and a really bored hero and backing out of the room whilst apologizing profusely because he is a gentlemanly villain but he seriously cannot look at blood or he’ll probably faint. XD (also he has short blond hair and wears white and basically he is the exact opposite of all villains I have ever created… XD)

          Like

  6. Ohhhhh. I have such a bad plot bunny now…

    Also. Jem and Jethan are making me laugh with their depictions of how this will all go down. Jem, I’m stealing your idea and turning it into a villain who doesn’t ACTUALLY want to beat the good guy so he always monologues ON PURPOSE until the sidekick shows up. It will be great.

    (I will comment at great length later, Kenzie. Right now my brain is too fried.)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. SAME. Except I have like four. So I really need to write them down, apparently…

      Oh my word, I know, right??? I was literally laughing out loud. XD I don’t know why, but whenever I think of villains giving really long and dragging monologues to give their arch-nemesis enough time to escape, I always think of Dr. Doofenshmirtz…. XD

      (I SHALL LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR UN-FRIED BRAIN COMMENT! XD )

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I KNOW, RIGHT????? This must be written. I mean, there have to be SOME villain families out there already, but I haven’t really found them yet. So. XD

      OHHHHHHHHHH! DUDE. YES. My mind has just been blown. YOU…YOU MUST WRITE THIS. DO IT. DO IT FOR THE UNIVERSE, BECAUSE IT SERIOUSLY NEEDS THIS BOOK,

      Like

    1. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Aw, well, that doesn’t necessarily sound TOO cliche. That’s a whole group of people sneering at her and her tale, rather than just one person sneering at her evilly… XD But honestly, I have sneering in all my stories, too, so…..? #fail

      Liked by 1 person

      1. xD
        Yes, and perhaps I can still avoid the cliche because it was a scene title, so I’ll just have to omit writing any sneers in the actual story. xD
        They’ll just beat Sheyla up instead. I suppose cruel orphanages are a cliche, but a dystopia wouldn’t have nice ones.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yess! There you go!! Perhaps you could change it to “Staff mock”…? Or “Staff jeer…?” Or…something. XD

          I don’t think cruel orphanages are cliché. Most orphanages are kind of creepy… Or maybe that’s just how media portrays it?? I don’t have much experience with ACTUAL orphanages…
          WAIT WHAT. They’re going to beat Sheyla up??? PERHAPS YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP THE SNEERS….? XD

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Well, I don’t need to change it since that line is one of my author notes, not narrative. It’s more like the staff smugly determine to play power games with her, or angrily shout in her face.

            I don’t know much about real orphanages either, except that in other countries they’re often very poor and Christmas Shoeboxes are frequently delivered to them.

            Yup. At that point it’s mostly gonna be glares.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Oh okay! That’s good. But I feel bad for Sheyla now??? I wouldn’t want to have people shouting angrily in my face… XD

              Yeah… :(( Real orphanages usually don’t boast superheroes like they do in the films. :((

              Oh dear… XD

              Liked by 1 person

  7. Ahh yes I have definitely been subjected to these.😂 I think the darkness one is the only one I don’t mind? Because honestly black is better for getting bloody. I HATE sneers and monologues ugh. And I think it’s ridiculous to think all villains love blood/gore, c’mon!! It makes them a caricature when they fit ALL these things. But luckily I’ve read tons of villains who smash cliches and I loooove them. (Wait. I, um, don’t mean..love…I…*shows self to the door*)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OHHhhhh… You know, I never even thought of this. Black is TOTALLY better with blood! It’s practically invisible!!! XD I HAVE SUDDENLY BEEN ENLIGHTENED. I must change my entire theory on cliches now… OH MY GOODNESS, SAME. Sneering and monologues are the worst. And then you’ve got the villains who sneer DURING their monologues and UGH. I’d chop my own head off if I was Bob the Hero.
      EXACTLY. And we cannot have caricature villains! (I mean, SOME can be caricatures, obviously, but NOT ALL OF THEM. XD)

      Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with loving the villains! My favorite character of all time is Moriarty, and he’s pretty much a psychopath. So. *is totally normal* XD (but also the villains are always the best, anyway, so???)

      Like

    1. Oooh! That could be quite interesting… I know for sure that I’m going to write some of them (if not all), because it was literally impossible to write this without getting like fifteen plot bunnies. So I’ve been cooking up some villains in the back of my mind ever since posting this. XD Currently I’ve got about three little villains that I’m hoping to someday give a book to…

      BUT DUDE! If you have an idea for a villain, GO RIGHT AHEAD AND WRITE IT!!! Villains are the best, and we need ALL OF THE WONDERFUL VILLAINS in the world of books!!!

      Like

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