The What If. . .? Fantasy Tag

good morning, Cyberspace!

Oh lookie there! A tag! A completely innovative and creative way to get out of writing an original blog post three hours before I need to have a smudge up!

. . .aha.

Okay, okay, I’ll confess. Once again I have fallen victim to the deceitful bloggerly rut and have utterly failed to write a blog post before Tuesday morning. #OOPS. But it’s not that I didn’t try. I really did. I’ve been brainstorming all weekend to find the perfect post to write, but as is usual for me when I’m on a deadline. . .I’ve got nothing.

I’ve been in a bit of a creative slump lately, guys. My life is a chaotic jumble of half-baked blog posts and messy inboxes and a slew of chapters that should have been edited three days ago and thirty-five books that have been glaring at me to read them for two years.

It’s a problem.

So I really needed something fantastical and whimsical and creative to help kick me out of this rut. Something like this really cool tag I found on Christine’s blog. I’m not sure if I was officially tagged for this or not, but seeing as though Christine said that she’s tagging everyone who wants to do the tag. . .I THINK IT’S SAFE TO SAY I AM NOT A THIEF.

But if I was a thief, would any of us truly be surprised? Hmmm???

I didn’t think so.

But I digress. Basically, this tag is a conglomeration of the fantastical and the whimsical and BOOKS! and mythological creatures and pretty much just ALL OF THE THINGS that will help fling me out of this slump I’ve been wallowing in for the past few weeks. So, in conclusion, I AM JUST SUPER UBER EXCITED TO DO THIS, OKAY? Okay.

Let’s dive into the tag, shall we?

*sploosh*

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This tag was created by the marvelous Jenelle Schmidt, and I should probably go find her blog because HOLY GUACAMOLE AND CHEESE THIS TAG WAS AMAZING.

The What If. . .? Fantasy Tag!

. . .The Rules. . .

. . .Thank the bloggerly bean who tagged you (THANK YOU SO MUCH, CHRISTINE!! *gives you endless supply of cookies*)

. . .Include the graphic somewhere in your post (IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL I’M SCREAMING)

. . .Answer the questions (a.k.a. the most fun part)

. . .Tag a few blogger friends — and let them know they’ve been tagged (mwahahahahaha, who shall I tag???)

. . .Have fun! (THIS SHALL NOT BE DIFFICULT)

And those are it for the rules, so let the Question Answering COMMENCE!

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— The Questions —

Question One. . .Your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The cast of the most recent fantasy book you read comes to your assistance. . . Who are they? Will they be helpful?

Oh goodness. . . The last fantasy book I read. . .? I thiiiiink that would be Entwined by Heather Dixon.

I know I mentioned this book in my last blog post, but unfortunately for me, I haven’t completed any other fantasy books recently. (although I am reading one! does that count? ah? ah????) I’ve mostly been working on rewriting everlost, and even though that could technically be considered part fantasy, I don’t think that exactly counts.

SO WE’RE GONNA GO WITH ENTWINED.

As for whether the cast would actually be helpful, though. . .I’m not exactly sure. . .? I mean, they would definitely try to be helpful, that’s certain. But would twelve dancing princesses actually be able to help me get my car running again?

#DOUBTFUL.

Unless, of course, Bramble is secretly really into mechanics, which would honestly not be all that surprising to me. She’s a feisty little caterpillar, that one.

On a completely different note, however, I’ve always wanted to learn how to dance, so these guys’ company would definitely not be unwelcome as I slowly freeze to death out in the frozen tundra where my car decided to ditch me.

(because obviously i was ditched in a frozen tundra don’t even judge me, peasants.)

 

Question Two. . .You go to bed one evening and wake up in the lair of the villain of the last fairy tale you read, where are you and how do you plan to get out?

Okay, so if fairy tale retellings count for this question (we’re just going to assume they do because #variety), then the last fairy tale I read was. . .

Geekerella by Ashley Poston

Now, this book had some. . .weird stuff. . .in it, but for the most part it was surprisingly good.

However, this means that the villain of this story was Elle’s “evil” step-mother, Catherine — a prissy, too-good-for-common-life kind of woman with a weakness for Rocky Road ice cream and a very twisted outlook on the world and what she “deserves”.

I’m not really sure what her lair would look like, though. Probably the living room of her soulless, spotless house (which TECHNICALLY belongs to her step-daughter but LOL WHATEVS)? Which I could probably break out of super easy, so I’m not all that concerned over here.

Plus I’d totally be snitching that Rocky Road from the freezer before hightailing it out of there, so I’m set for at least a week.

 

Question Three. . .You are transported into a fantasy realm and given a mythical creature as a companion and best friend. . . which mythical creature do you get?

UGH THIS IS SUCH A HARD QUESTION. Half of my fantastical soul is screaming at me to just say dragon and be done with it, but then the other half of me is like —

PHOENIX!

UNICORN!

SOMETHING ELSE EQUALLY FANTASTICAL!

. . .oh who am I even trying to kid, here. It would be a dragon. Definitely a dragon. Always a dragon. A full-grown, fire-breathing dragon that could smote my enemies and wreak havoc upon the seven realms. . .

(did i mention i would totally be the villain in this scenario?)

Or maybe I could get a Wisp. . . Do mythical creatures of our own invention count as a potential option? No?

Then the dragon it shall have to be.

 

Question Four. . .In a strange series of coincidences, you end up needing to take the place of your favorite fantasy hero or heroine. Who are you?

Aha….hahahaha….hahahahahahahahaha.

Does Moriarty count?

OKAY OKAY, I know that technically he isn’t a fantasy character, and that technically he’s the “villain” and not the “hero”, but potato-potahto, tomato-tomahto. HE IS STILL MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OF EVER.

But there’s always the fact that he isn’t FANTASY, so I guess my answer for this question would have to be. . .

THAO CROWE FROM EVERLOST ADALINE POTTS FROM EVERLOST Alice from Alice in Wonderland.

I absolutely LOOOOOOVE Alice in Wonderland. The books, the Tim Burton movies, basically just ALL OF THE THINGS. I love her world and her story, her friends — the Mad Hatter and the March Hare and the Dormouse and ESPECIALLY the Cheshire Cat.

I love love love the Cheshire Cat.

There is a reason that my graduation open house had an Alice in Wonderland theme, my friends. I AM LITERALLY OBSESSED. So if I could take on the identity of my absolute favorite fantasy character. . .? It would be Alice.

Or possibly the Cheshire Cat. That is also a very tempting choice. . .

 

Question Five. . .To go along with question #4, now that you are that character, is there anything you would do differently than that character, now that you are running the show?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm. . .no? I mean, I might be a little less angry than she was (movie Alice was angry, folks, let’s face it), but other than that. . .?

I haven’t read the books recently, so I can’t exactly speak up on what I would do differently than book-Alice, but of what I can remember, she handled things rather well for such a smol little bean, so I really can’t think of anything I would do differently. In fact, she probably handled all of the weird and wacky and slightly crazy things happening around her a LOT better than I would have.

I probably would’ve been screaming throughout the whole thing, to be honest. Like a lot. There would have been a lot of screaming.

OH! Actually, there is one thing I would have done differently!

I wouldn’t have come back from Wonderland. Duh.

 

Question Six. . .If you were yourself in a fantasy novel, what role do you think you would play in the story?

. . .honestly? Do you honestly want me to answer this? Fine. I shall answer this totally obvious question.

I WOULD BE THE VILLAIN, PEASANTS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’d probably be that really weird villain that’s sort of cute and lovable, but could totally stab your eye out with my trusty pitchfork, Rupert, if you ever dared cross me. My throne would be made of cookies, and I would rule the seven realms with my fire-breathing dragon on my left and my smol floofy bird on my right.

. . . Okay, so that is technically the role that I would want to have. The role I would actually have if I was myself in a fantasy novel would probably be the awkward, sleep-deprived writer-protagonist person whose characters spontaneously combust out of the page and come to life before sweeping the poor smol writer off on a magical adventure filled with dragon-smoke and possible death.

actual footage of me writing. . .

But in all honesty, having my precious little characters come to life really doesn’t sound all that bad. I’d take spending an afternoon with Thao and Adaline over stabbing a small man with a pitchfork any day.

 

Question Seven. . .One morning, as you are going about your daily business, you pick up an everyday item and a voice booms in your head with prophetic words about your future. What object is it, and what is your prophecy?

Does my non-existent pitchfork count? I think my non-existent pitchfork should count. . .

BUUUUUUUT since it needs to be an everyday item, and not an I’m-going-to-stab-your-face-off item, it would probably be my Kindle. Because I use my Kindle at least once every single day. Music, books, movies. . .you name it, my Kindle’s got it. Basically it’s procrastination station.

So I pick up my Kindle, and the prophecy that booms in my head goes a little something like–

Get off this stupid gadget and get some writing done or your dangflabbin’ book will never get finished, you idiot!

My internal prophet. Keeping it real since 1879.

 

Question Eight. . .You are transported into a magical realm and turned into a mythical beast. . .what beast/fantasy creature do you want to be?

MERMAID.

Hands down, I would want to be a mermaid. I have always wanted to be a mermaid!! Being able to breathe underwater and having a fin for legs and getting to SWIM WITH ALL OF THE UNDERWATER CREATURES ASDFGHJKL!!!!! It would be a dream come true. . .

Or maybe I’d want to be a siren. . . Because I love to sing, and it would be great fun to kill people with my #skillz.

 

Question Nine. . .If you could read your way into any fantasy realm, but the catch is that you can never leave, would you? Which realm would you choose?

Is this a trick question? I think this is a trick question. . .

ASDFGHJKL OF COURSE I WOULD DO IT. Literally no force on this planet could stop me.

As for which realm I would choose, however. . .I really don’t know. I love SO MANY fantasy realms, so having to pick just one is kind of like a bizarre method of torture. The world of The Lunar Chronicles (shhhhh, this is fantasy), Wonderland, Middle Earth, Crocodoc (THIS COUNTS DON’T JUDGE ME) — there’s no way I could pick just ONE.

So on second thought, maybe I wouldn’t choose to read my way into a fantasy realm. My life may not be packed with action and adventure and death like my favorite stories, but it’s still pretty neat. In a small, special kind of way. And as it is, being on the outside, I’m able to read my way into all of the stories that I love. I don’t have to choose just one. I have options.

So maybe it’s not so bad to live in the real world, after all. I think, for right now, I’m going to stay.

Unless there’s a way I can find a Tardis and become a Time Lord because AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM SO OUT OF HERE, PEASANTS.

 

Question Ten. . .As you are going about your normal day, you discover that you have a magical power. What is it?

Ooh. This one is a toughie. If I suddenly discovered that I had a magical power, it would probably be. . .fire manipulation.

I have always, always, ALWAYS wanted to control some type of element. I’m not sure why, exactly, but it’s been something I’ve just been dying to do ever since I was little (which would explain why my first ever full-length novel was about dragons and kids with powers to control elements like fire, water, and earth.). Although my younger self used to dream about controlling water — because water sprites are amazing, obviously — I often find myself now dreaming about being able to control fire.

Because I am a rather. . .ahem. . .fiery person. Aha.

But seriously, now, who wouldn’t want to be a fire nymph? Fire nymphs are magical!!! They are cool and spunky and have feathers in their hair and ringlets of fire swirling around their wrists and JUST ALL OF THE YES, PLEASE.

I want to be a fire nymph. Please. Someone give me this. I’m begging you.

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And that is it for the questions! Once again, I want to say a huge THANK YOU!!!! to Christine for the tag (I mean, technically you tagged me? Sort of???? XD)! I had so much fun answering all these questions, and now I have a hundred plot bunnies about fire nymphs gnawing at my toes. (the plot bunnies. not the fire nymphs. that would be creepy.) So I guess doing this tag did more than just break me out of my bloggerly rut! HUZZAH! *kicks plot bunny under bed so I can focus on everlost*

But anyway, before I forget, I MUST TAG SOME OF YOU! Mwahahahaha. . . This shall be interesting. There isn’t a minimum or cap on how many people I can tag, so I’m just gonna throw some names out here and call it good.

So. Without further ado. . .

TAG, YOU’RE IT!

• Kate @Story And Dark Chocolate
• Jethan @Rosedale Arts Blog
• Ruby @The Sea Calls Us Home
• Phoebe @My Myopic Heart
• Jem @Jem Jones, Writer
• Kirsten @Not Really Sarcastic
• Gail @The Gailius Blog
• Madeline @Short & Snappy
• and YOU. because this tag was a blast to do, and i agree with Christine — EVERYONE should get a chance to do it!

And there we are! Seven eight?? taggees for this brilliant tag! I THINK you guys’ll probably find this here, but just in case, I shall be notifying you guys of your tags hopefully sometime today. As I mentioned earlier, my life is a chaotic mess, but I shall do my best to abide by the rules.

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talk to me, peasants!

And that’s all I’ve got for today, folks! So what did you think? Isn’t this tag one of the coolest things to have ever existed?? I really hope you’re able to do it. Just answering these questions gave me SOOOO many plot-bunnies. I should probably make a document to pen them all into one specific place, but for right now, they shall just run rampant until I decide to become a responsible writer.

But let’s talk questions, shall we? What kind of role would YOU play in a fantasy story? Which fantasy hero or heroine would you trade places with? What kind of mythological creature would you want to become? Mermaid? Unicorn? Centaur? Octopus? What kind of magical power would you want to have? And most importantly — WATER SPRITES OR FIRE NYMPHS??? Let us talk about ALL OF THE MAGICAL THINGS!!! in the comments below!

And as always, until next time. . .

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*