good morning, cyberspace!
For those of you who have been living underneath a hollowed-out log for the past 30 days, tomorrow is Halloween.
i know. so shocking.
Ah, yes. Halloween. The most spooky day of the year, filled with children and candy and pumpkins and ghosties and those weird little gummy Dot things you find in the yellow boxes that no one really knows what they are, but they taste okay-ish so you eat them anyway.
Halloween. I’m probably on the opposite end of most Christian people, here, but I absolutely love Halloween. I love the candy and the dressing up. I love eating chocolate until I feel like I might burst and having no regrets because it’s Halloween. I love making caramel corn with my mom and handing out candy and taking back the candy because HOLD UP, G.I. JOE., THAT IS MY SNICKERS BAR!!!!!!! seeing what all of tiny children are dressing up as nowadays. I love dressing up as a mime and breaking my vow to stay silent all day after three hours of pure and intense torture. And above all this — at the very tippity top of my list for ALL THE THINGS that I love about Halloween — I absolutely adore watching Halloween movies.
And that, my dear marshmallow beans, is exactly why I decided to write up a not-so-giant post about my top 5 absolute FAVORITE Halloween movies of all time for today’s smudge. Because A) I’ve never really done a post like this before?, and B) I seriously needed a break from constantly blogging about NaNoWriMo this month, which I’m sure has started to get slightly annoying to all you guys, as well. So i mean???
You’re welcome.
And besides. Next month is going to be filled with a ton of NaNoWriMo Dare Squad posts, so basically this is my last moment of creative freedom before I’m forced to write about nothing but NaNoWriMo for 30 days.
Aha. Ahahahahahaha. #regerts
So today we’re going to be putting the inevitable horrors of NaNoWriMo away for just a moment and dive headfirst into all of the Halloween movies that I, in all my supreme glory, deem The Top 5 Best Halloween Movies of All Time! Because I think this will be fun. Maybe. Sorta.
And obviously this is a completely unbiased opinion and can be taken without any grains of salt, whatsoever.
So let’s begin, shall we?
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
The Top 5 BEST Halloween Movies of All Time*
*so unbiased
NUMBER ONE . . . The Nightmare Before Christmas
Okay, so I know that there tends to be some conjecture about whether or not The Nightmare Before Christmas is actually a Halloween movie (some people think it’s a Christmas movie?? aha. it’s not a Christmas movie, peasants), but I am here to personally assure you that this move is — without a single doubt — the absolute BEST Halloween movie you will ever meet.
thus the reason it’s ranking in at number one on this list. duh.
Not only is it created by Tim Burton (as all of the best movies most frequently are) but it also stars an extremely long-legged pumpkin-headed thing —
— a girl who looks and walks as if she’s just crawled straight out of the depths of your deepest nightmares —
— an adorable dead dog —
— a Gamblin’ Boogie Man (feat. a distressed Santa Claus)—
— this thing —
— and an absolutely horrible Christmas in which children possibly die.
So as you can see, if you haven’t already witnessed the magic that is The Nightmare Before Christmas, you are seriously missing out, my friend.
And also it has some absolutely PHENOMENAL songs that are sure to get stuck in your head for the next 72 hours, so I mean??? What isn’t there to love about this movie???
. . . SONGS TO CHECK OUT . . .
NUMBER TWO . . . The Corpse Bride
This movie, guys. THIS. MOVIE. This is my second favorite Halloween movie of ever. I don’t know whether it’s the fact that it’s in a similar vein to The Nightmare Before Christmas in the creepy factor, or if it’s because I do an absolutely killer impersonation of Victor’s dad in the incomparable According To Plan, but there’s just something about this movie that tugs at my flayed heartstrings and causes the maggot resting in my left eyeball to sigh in contentment.
I love the story, the plot, the characters. The fact that everyone is basically dead. I love the music and the playlist and especially The Wedding Song in particular, and if I ever find myself getting married again, I’m 100% going to have a Corpse Bride themed wedding. Bonus points if my future husband’s name is actually Victor. . .
. . . SONGS TO CHECK OUT . . .
NUMBER THREE ONE AGAIN . . . It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!
Please forget everything I said about The Nightmare Before Christmas. This show right here is THE absolute best Halloween film of all time. I mean, technically it’s a TV show, but whatever. It is perfection and it is adorable and it is everything I could ever wish for in a Halloween film. It has humor —
— deep life lessons for all ages —
— last-minute Halloween costume how-to guides —
— murder —
— and that one scene that everyone skips because it’s extremely boring.
It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! is not only a Halloween tradition, but one of the most superb cinematic glories that this world has ever been blessed with.
In other words — if you haven’t ever seen this show, what on earth are you doing with your life.
NUMBER FOUR . . . Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Don’t let the rather disturbing title of this movie give you the wrong impression about this movie, my friends! Sweeney Todd is one of the most mild Tim Burton movies ever to have been created.
. . .
. . .
lol, yeah, that’s a blatant lie. This movie is. . .um. . .extremely creepy. And also rated R because of all of the. . .ahem. . .death.
And the blood.
And the gore. All of the gore. SO MUCH GORE.
Basically it’s rated R because of the gore, you guys. (and I mean also some minor language if I remember correctly but like that’s MILD compared to the gore, oh my word.)
I’ve only seen Sweeney Todd once so far, but even still it was quite enough to gross me out. And you guys know how I am with severed limbs and whatnot. But if we simply remove some of the rather disturbing and too-bloody deaths, I honestly think this movie has one of my favorite plot-lines of all time.
Because it’s about a pie shop. A cannibal pie shop.
A cannibal pie shop that uses the meat of the humans that Johnny Depp (a.k.a. Sweeney Todd) kills in his barber shop.
(i seriously hope i am not the only one laughing at this concept. aha. hahaha. ahem.)
In a nutshell, Sweeney Todd is a story about cannibalism and love and a creepy judge named Severus Snape —
— and a derpy kid who wants to kidnap a poor girl who is basically a walking encyclopedia of birds —
— and death.
Lots and lots and lots of death. . .
(SPOILER [highlight blank space to read]) >> Basically everyone in this entire movie dies. <<
So yeah.
I’m not really sure how there’s even a town left after what happens in this film, to be honest?? But anyway, if you’re in possession of a stomach made of steel and don’t mind laughing at cannibalism, this really is a very interesting (and severely disturbing) movie to watch.
If, however, you’d like to spare yourself the intense vomiting and nightmares, I would highly suggest just checking out the song, A Little Priest. It’s hilarious and punny and I just love it so much. 10/10 one of my favorite musical songs of all time.
NUMBER FIVE . . . The Ring
(SPOILER: the only reason I’m adding this movie is because I’m 78% certain my siblings will murder me if I don’t.)
I hate this movie. It freaks me out. It disturbs me. And finding the GIF’s for this part of the blog post sent me into hysterics about five times.
HOWEVER. Even I cannot deny the fact that The Ring is, when compared with almost every other scary movie I have ever seen, one of the absolute best creepy films of all time. Its plot is nothing short of amazing, its horror is properly horrifying, and by the end of this movie, I would personally pitch Samara headfirst into the well myself. Aha.
And also I 10/10 recommend you go watch it right this instant because you need to feel the immense amount of pain that I felt my first time watching it. Seriously. It was painful.
And I say “first time watching it”, because my siblings forced me to watch it a second time. And also they made me watch all the subsequent sequels, as well. So I mean that was great. Thanks, guys. You’re the best. *thumbs up*
But also can someone please get this girl a haircut? I mean seriously. She wouldn’t be half as terrifying if she had a pixie cut on that water-bloated head of hers. . .
TALK TO ME, PEASANTS!
And that’s all I’ve got for today, folks!!! Believe it or not, today’s post actually ranks in well beneath 2,000 words, so I think I’m starting to get this whole “small post” thing figured out.
Aha. no i’m not.
But anyway, let’s see what you guys have to say now, shall we? What did you think of this slightly unusual Halloween-y post? Was it fun? Was it weird? Do you wish I would never do anything like this ever again? (hopefully not, because I really enjoyed doing it. . . aha.) Have you ever seen any of the movies I’ve mentioned, or are you not a Tim Burton fan? (because let’s be honest, here. over half the movies I mentioned were Tim Burton.)
What are some of YOUR top favorite Halloween movies of all time? Are there any you think should be added to this list? Any you think shouldn’t be on it? Do you think it’s a strange coincidence that Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter star in both The Corpse Bride AND Sweeney Todd? (please see above GIF) and most importantly. . .
HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN A ROCK WHILST TRICK-OR-TREATING???? (this is extremely important to the integrity of this post, what are you talking about.)
Let us talk about ALL OF THE THINGS!!! down in the comments below! And as always, until next time. . .
*flings pumpkins in the air and disappears*
So I am basically making all my friends pull an all-nighter with me to watch most of the movies on this list!!! #convenient
Except The Ring because ABSOLUTELY NOT. I am terrified of those gifs and no sir, that is not happening. Not in a million years. The Exorcist was ENOUGH.
But yeah. We are all going to a friend’s house after we go trick-or-treating (it is my first time!!!!) and watching Sweeney Todd, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Corpse Bride.
Also have you heard of The Raven because we are going to try and watch that one too and it looks AMAZING and very similar to Sweeney Todd in some ways — basically a mashup of Poe’s short stories and poems all turned into serial murders. Twill be excellent.
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The movies on this list are A++. I am appeased. XD
UM??? I’ve never seen the Exorcist. I WILL never see the Exorcist. That sounds awful and terrible and no.
OOOOOOOH. Okay, but like that sounds like the absolute best Halloween ever. Please send me candy and a card and I’ll forgive you for not inviting me. XD WHAT??? WAIT WHAT. NO. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT. But I must watch it, methinks. (also I feel like you’ve told me about this before?? BUT I STILL HAVE NOT SEEN IT.)
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I am today years old and I just learned that The Corpse Bride is NOT a sequel to Nightmare Before Christmas. Aha.
And I’ve only seen one movie on this list: The Ring, at which I giggled and guffawed all the way through. And, as it turns out, I haven’t seen many Tim Burton movies at all…. There are a lot of his movies featuring Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp. I think it’s a running gag.
Fun Halloween movies: Bedknobs and Broomsticks; Practical Magic; Clue. Weird/Funny “Horror” Movie: Housebound. Horror/Suspense movies with a twist that are NOT set around Halloween: The Others; Sixth Sense; A Quiet Place.
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Okay, but there’s actually this theory that The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, and Frankenweenie are all connected somehow, and it’s basically the story of the same guy and his dog as they progress through life. It’s kind of interesting if you’ve seen all the movies and notice the connections. XD
AH YES. I remember you saying this. AND I HAVE NO CLUE HOW YOU LAUGHED THROUGH IT. It kind of freaked me out. Both times. Aha. #helpme. And I believe Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter being in multiple Tim Burton movies together is DEFINITELY a gag. Especially when you consider how Helena and Tim Burton used to be married. XD (also I think Johnny Depp joked in an interview once how he wasn’t sure why Tim Burton kept putting him in roles that had him trying to kill Tim’s wife, which I’ve always found kind of funny, and I don’t know why. XD )
OKAY BUT I LITERALLY SAW PRACTICAL MAGIC THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH FOR THE FIRST TIME ABOUT A WEEK OR SO AGO AND OH MY WORD. It was amazing. And also my mom was rather upset that it did not end up on this list. XD I have never seen Bedknobs and Broomsticks, but I hope I can remember that because I really wanna see it now… I didn’t know they made a Clue movie????
And I think the only other ones I’ve seen on this list are A Quiet Place (cringed at the nail scene, but overall loved the story so so much) and Sixth Sense, which was, again, an absolutely awesome movie.. I must seriously write these down so I remember them for next Halloween…
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I don’t know much about the movies, but I buy that theory.
NEITHER DO I. Normally I can’t stand horror.
My sister loves Practical Magic. It absolutely should have been on this list. Bedknobs and Broomsticks is an old movie with dancing suits of armor and time travel. It’s from the same era as Mary Poppins.
They have a Clue movie! It’s all wacky hijinks and clever lines. Definitely recommend it
*shudders* The Nail Scene. No thanks. My dad is a huge Bruce Willis fan, so we watch The Sixth Sense with some frequency, lol.
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You do realize that when we meet I am going to physically force you to watch all of the Tim Burton movies, right? 😂
SAME.
It should have. Honestly it should have. But ah well. More content for next Halloween, amiright??? 😂 Oh my goodness Bedknobs and Broomsticks sounds amazing!! I totally need to see this now…
I AM SO ADDING THIS TO OUR NETFLIX QUEUE. I’m not even going to ask. I’m just going to put it in our queue and my family will be surprised when Clue shows up unannounced. XD
Right?? Both my mom and I were curling up in our theater seats whilst slapping each other and cringing. XD I’ve only seen the Sixth Sense once, and literally EVERYONE in my family new the ending plot twist from having seen it before besides me when we watched. They were all watching my reaction (which was in true Kenzie-is-extremely-shocked fashion) and it was very awkward…. XD
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THE GREAT PUMPKIN WAS MY CHILDHOOD. Charlie Brown is the absolute best. *nods* ^_^
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ASDFGHJKL SAME!!!!!!! I absolutely LOVE Charlie Brown!!! Have you seen the new 3D Charlie Brown movie???
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I have!!! It’s so just so innocent and adorable. I love it!! ^-^
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I KNOW!!! I just love everything about Charlie Brown… AND THAT MOVIE!! 😂😂😂 When the star fell out of the sky, I just….oh my goodness. That poor kid can never catch a break. 😂
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I haven’t seen ANY of these movies. But I saw a Good Eats episode parodying Sweeney Todd, and that’s close enough for me. xD
I’ve seen some Halloween movies, but nothing is popping in mind for recommendation. I’ll just take the candy. xD
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WAIT WHAT. XD XD XD What is Good Eats and where on earth can I find this??? I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE. XD
Ooh, yes. The candy is definitely good. Who needs movies when there’s candy around, anyway????
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Good Eats is a cooking show by Alton Brown, it’s on the food network, but if you look up “Good Eats Meat Pie” you’ll be able to find a clip of the episode “Oh My, Meat Pie” that shows a couple elements of the parody.
All I have left are M&Ms…that I don’t eat…
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OH MY GOODNESS. I’m gonna look this up as soon as I finish responding to comments. XD
You….you don’t eat M&M’s??? M&M’S ARE HEAVENLY, JETHAN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. XD
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Ironically I ate some after that comment. I just don’t pick them first above other candies.
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LOL! I love M&M’s. They’re addicting. And they are DELICIOUS in ice cream!
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My favorites are The Nightmare Before Christmas and Coraline (I don’t know if that’s a Halloween movie specifically or just a spooky one).
As a kid, I watched Halloweentown and Twitches every year.
Halloween’s the best.
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Well, the grand majority of these are just spooky and have literally nothing to do with Halloween, so I’m gonna say that Coraline is totally acceptable! XD
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Halloweentown or Twitches, but they sound adorable and now I need to look them up. XD
AGREED. XD
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I DESPERATELY need to see these!!! The only one I’ve watched is Charlie Brown, which is MY FAVORITE EVER AGGGGHHHH!!!
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OH MY GOODNESS, YESSSSSSS!!!! Charlie Brown is LIFE! Have you seen the new Charlie Brown movie??? That is like one of my favorite movies of ever… XD
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Yes, I did! Saw it in theaters, I think!
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Me too!!! I loved that movie…
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I can’t watch horror, man XD Tim Burton freaks me out. I watch Jurassic Park on Halloween cause good ol’ fashioned bad CGI dinosaur jump scares are what I need in life.
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BUT….BUT…..BUT….TIM BURTON. XD I guess his stuff IS a little creepy, but like….it’s adorable. Sometimes. Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride are, at least. XD
OH MY GOODNESS. XD Watching Jurassic Park on Halloween is probably the best thing ever and I NEED to try this sometime. And OH MY GOODNESS, YES. XD THE BAD CGI. IT IS PERFECTION. XD
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It scares meeeee ;P
IT WAS SO FUN. I loved every minute of it.
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BUT IT’S SO GOOOOOD! 😂
I need to rewatch those movies… It’s been a while and I need the terrible CGI. 😂
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I love Jurassic Park with a deep love XD
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My dad actually turned on the first Jurassic Park movie just the other night!! I didn’t get to watch all of it, but it was still amazing of what I did get to see. That movie is life. 😂
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Yessssssssss.
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Kenzie……. I do not comment on your blog because one… I am your mom and this is your space…and although I am your number one fan, supporter and stalker, I shall not overstep my boundaries. And two…. well I guess every number one has a two, but this does not. BUT>>PRACTICAL MAGIC!!!!!! Where is Practical Magic? There is murder. There are needles in eyeballs. There is a magic spell which makes falling in love quite impossible. This is your story!!!!! Not to mention the music. “Coconut” and “Amas Veritas” have been my ringtones for almost forever. I shall hide your Halloween candy and you may not jump off the roof with your sister and me at midnight! That is all….I shall go back to my mom hole now. Oh… and I love you very much bean! Happy Halloween!
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MOM!!!!! *tackle hugs* You know you can comment on here anytime you like. I will literally burn down your mom hole so that you are forced to comment…
AND UGH I KNOW. I should have added Practical Magic to this. However, in my defense, I had only just seen it??? (and yes, I am aware that this is a very weak defense but like??? I was tired and the list was getting long and I just decided not to include it. aha. [i’m lazy, you know this]) But I really do love Practical Magic, though!!! Please please PLEASE let me jump off the roof with you guys at midnight!!!! And also you can’t hide my Halloween candy cause I accidentally ate it all. Aha. #oops
(also the needles in the eyeballs were very fascinating. definitely not disgusting at all. although I do believe that my favorite part was when she had to use the cool whip to draw the symbol on that guy’s dead corpse because they didn’t have anything else. XD XD XD )
And I love you so very muchly, too!!! Please don’t crawl back into your mom hole!!!! <333
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Okay, I am officially watching zero of these. I do not do scary. The gifs from Nightmare Before Christmas are freaking me out about as much as the gifs from The Ring?? (Charlie Brown is the only one that doesn’t look scary… but, I suppose because he wasn’t part of my childhood, I have no nostalgia driving me to watch it?)
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen something from Johnny Depp saying he’s killed Helena Bonham Carter in several of Tim Burton’s movies…
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Oh my goodness!!!! The Nightmare Before Christmas is freaking you out???? Oh dear… I mean I know Jack looks a little…odd…but overall it is an absolutely amazing show. XD And GASP!!! I LOVE Charlie Brown and 10/10 recommend watching it! Even if you weren’t raised with it, I know you’d love it. I can’t think of anything who DOESN’T like Charlie Brown, to be honest. It is just so adorable… If you ever get a chance, I would highly recommend watching that one above ALL of the others.
Yessss!! I think I’ve seen that too!! And it’s so hilarious… 😂 It makes me so beyond happy thinking about how they were all friends. That’s creative squad goals right there. XD
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