The Never Have I Ever Tag (Writer’s Edition!)

good morning, cyberspace!

All right. You guys know me. If you slap the word writer or writing or WRITER’S EDITION onto something–however strange and unnecessary it might seem–I AM 100% GOING TO DO IT.

And since this is clearly a writing tag, and Tuesday is less than four hours away, I thought today would be the perfect time to become the smol thief we all know I truly am and steal the Never Have I Ever (Writer’s Edition!) tag from Eva!

i’m so original, help me

Let’s do this!

THE RULES

• link to and thank the bloggerly bean who tagged you! (this was . . . no one. i’m a burglar this week, folks! #bilbobaggins BUUUUUT, I did find the tag on Eva’s blog, so we’re going to link to her! [thanks for the steal, Eva!!!])
• include the graphic somewhere in your post (or make your own!) (HA. HAHAHA. THIS IS ASSUMING THAT I HAVE THE TIME TO MAKE MY OWN GRAPHICS. Your naivety is adorable.)
• answer the questions truthfully and honestly. (like I would LIE. Aha. Hahaha. *sweats nervously*)
• tag three bloggers

I believe this is where this graphic came from, and also where the tag originated. so. do with this what you will.

THE TAG

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . started a novel that I did not finish

I HAVE. OH, HAVE I. I mean, I’m pretty sure I have more UNFINISHED projects than finished ones.

. . .what are these unfinished stories, you ask? HA. HAHAHA. No. We’re not diving down that rabbit hole today, my dear peasant. Maybe tomorrow. or never.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . written a story completely by hand

I have, actually, which is kind of shocking for . . . you know . . . me. But The Dragon Elements–my very first completed novel–was written entirely by hand, and then typed up onto the computer. It took about four giant notebooks, a couple one-subject notebooks, and precisely fifty-seven handcramps, but in the end, it finally ended up being like 500+ pages all typed up.

I was seriously proud of that story–still am–but looking back on it, I now have the wisdom, distance, and clarity to know that it has MAJOR plot problems.

(still. for my first-ever completed book, it could probably be a lot worse . . . heh.)

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . changed tenses midway through a story

Um. . .I don’t think I’ve done this one, actually. One of the first things I determine about a story is what kind of tense it’s going to be written in, and once that’s decided, it typically sticks. I mean, maybe I’ve done this in the past, but I can’t really pinpoint a specific moment when I was typing and thought, “Huh. I think I just changed tenses!” << and I’m pretty sure that would be a memorable experience?

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . not researched anything before starting a story

. . .

. . .

lol, I do this all the time, what are you talking about.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . changed my protagonist’s name halfway through a draft

Oh, I’ve done this one, I think! Once upon a time I was writing a Dystopian novel called RESET, and I’m PRETTY sure the story started out with a girl named Koria, and then mysteriously switched to Kaida because it was prettier to look at.

It’s nice to know that my storytelling decisions come from a place of wisdom.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . written a story in a month or less

I HAVE NOT DONE THIS YET AND IT BOTHERS ME, PEASANTS!!!! I’ve tried so many times to complete a draft within a month, and yet it STILL has not happened. *sigh* Ah, well, maybe next NaNo.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . fallen asleep while writing

I think I’ve ALMOST done this–especially when I’m up late writing and want nothing more than to just collapse into bed–but actually, physically falling asleep on my laptop or notebook? Yeah, that hasn’t happened yet.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . yelled in all caps at myself in the middle of a novel

Oh, I have done this so many times it isn’t even funny. Usually it’s things like THIS SCENE ISN’T WORKING ASDFGHJKL WHY ARE MY CHARACTERS SUCH STUBBORN IDIOTS, but you know, sometimes there’s a stroke of pure genius trapped in there somewhere. Like FUTURE KENZIE WILL FIX THIS. LEAVE IT. << Love finding those notes later on in half-finished scenes which I thought I’d previously completed. :)))

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . corrected someone’s grammar irl/online

Seeing as though I’m a Grammar Nazi, I think it’s safe to say that I have done this. Multiple times.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . used “I’m writing” as an excuse

I’ve done this. I’ve done this a lot. But I mean. . .?? We gotta PROTECT THE WRITING TIME, right? RIGHT??? Of course we do. JK Rowling said it, so clearly it’s fact.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . killed a character who was based off someone I know in real life

I have not done this yet. And, despite popular belief, I don’t actually write about the people I know. Where’s the fun in writing someone who’s boring and mundane and human when I can create an entirely NEW being and bludgeon them over the head with a frying pan?? Where’s the interest? Where’s the MAGIC???

Honestly, self-inserting people I know into stories just doesn’t sound like fun. It sounds boring and slightly like cheating, and–I’ll be honest–you’re probably just not that interesting for me to write about.

(that was sarcasm. please don’t hate me.)

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . used pop culture references in a story

Seeing as though most of my stories take place in an alternate dimension or timeline, I don’t do this. I’m also not that big on pop culture, so that probably plays a factor into it, as well. Buuuuuut, I DO enjoy slipping in little Easter eggs from things I’ve said on the blog or from conversations my friends and I have had in real life!

It’s those little extra tidbits that make writing fun. And someday, when I look back on my books with the pure horror of knowing that I probably should have done things differently within them, it will be all those little references that will keep me from hosting a sacrificial burning in my backyard.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . written between the hours of 1 a.m. and 6 a.m.

Well, seeing as though everlost was finished at 1 in the morning . . . I have done this. But I also fell asleep like immediately after, so does this really count? Maybe? I’m not sure. . .

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . drank an entire pot of coffee while writing

Ew. No.

Now, consuming an entire shareable box of skittles while writing? This I have done.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . written down dreams to use in potential novels

Oh, of course I have done this. I’ve also woken right up in the middle of the night to write stuff down so that I wouldn’t forget it in the morning.

I mean, forget the fact that when I woke up the next day, all I’d written down was the hastily-scrawled word, Wykugle. Clearly this meant something to me at the time, and we should acknowledge the fact that it was so important that I had to pull myself out of bed and scribble it down before–horror of all horrors–I could forget it.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . published an unedited story on the internet/Wattpad/blog

Nope! I’m a furious perfectionist, so the thought of publishing something unedited for public consumption frightens me to no end. I mean, sometimes I look back at things I’ve published on the blog or whatever and wonder what on earth I was thinking, but I mean?? It still somehow made it through a round of editing. (it might not have been GOOD editing, but it was editing, nonetheless)

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . procrastinated homework because I wanted to write

Like Eva said, I was a homeschooler, so I didn’t really have homework, but I definitely have procrastinated on other things because I wanted to write.

And I’ve also procrastinated WRITING because I wanted to do other things, so I think it all checks out, yes?

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . typed so long that my wrists hurt

I HAVE. I think it was this past NaNo (NaNoWriMo, 2019) where I somehow wrote over 5,000 words in a single day (my all-time record thus far). And after that, my friend, everything hurt. My fingers. My wrists. My brain. My soul. . .

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . spilled a drink on my latpop while writing

Never. And I have definitely been blessed by the gnome kings because of this. (although this could be contributed to the fact that I don’t typically drink anything while writing? sometimes I have water, but that’s about it.)

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . forgotten to save my work/draft

I always remember to save my work in the moment (hitting the save button has become almost second nature to me), but remembering to back up my work??? Aha . . . yeah, we’re still learning that one.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . finished a novel

Define “finished”. If you mean finished it to the point of completion where people can actually read it and it’s no longer just an ambiguous blob in my head, then yes!

If you mean a novel that’s actually polished and published and out there for public consumption, then no. . .

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . laughed like an evil villain while writing a scene

Aha . . . hahahaha . . . heh. I’ve done this, unfortunately. My family looks at me like I’m crazy, but whatever.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . cried while writing a scene

There is one scene in particular that I remember shedding a few tears over, and that was in The Dragon Elements. It was a particularly “heart wrenching” moment where one of the characters died (my first character death, if I remember correctly), and in the excitement of the moment, I decided to shed some tears to commemorate the occasion.

It was fun.

And also awkward.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . created maps of fictional worlds

I have tried to do this, and every time I fail most miserably.

NEVER HAVE I EVER . . . researched something shady for a novel

. . . *laughs maniacally*

Honestly, everything I research for a novel seems shady: the decomposition of severed arms, if a human could fit in a standard size oven, what kinds of poisons are lethal and in what size doses. . . Basically, if you looked through my search history, you would think I was trying to murder someone. And also trying to hack into a hospital. (thanks, everlost.)

TAG! YOU’RE IT!

And now that I’ve officially answered all of the questions, it’s time for me to tag some peasants! The rules state to tag three bloggers, so, naturally, I’m going to tag five:

• Phoebe
• Ally
• Ruby
• Jethan
• Christine

And, of course, anyone else who wishes to do this tag! (that means you, peasant. do the tag. DO IT.)

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TALK TO ME, PEASANTS!

All right, folks, that’s about it for today! I do apologize for there not being a post last week, but ya know. Life. And procrastination. And writing actual ‘book’ instead of blogging. (#priorities) please don’t hate me, I am smol and young. Let’s just pretend like this post came out last week, and we’re NOT already nearly two weeks into February. . . .yeah. That sounds good.

SO ANYWAY. Let’s talk about you guys, shall we? How many of these things have YOU ever done? Have YOU ever fallen asleep while writing? (and if you have, did you wake up with ink all over your face the next day or. . .?) Do you tend to publish unedited works, or do you prefer to do a pass of editing before pitching it out into the world? Do you like researching for a story, or–like me–do you prefer to wing it for the first draft and fix it all up as you go? and most important of all. . .

DO YOU SELF-INSERT PEOPLE YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE INTO YOUR STORIES????

Because I need some ANSWERS on how-and-why people do this. I just. . .? I DON’T GET IT, PEASANTS. EXPLAIN IT TO ME. *insert Dalek voice* EXPLAIIIIN!

. . .ahem. moving on.

As always, let’s talk about ALL OF THE THINGS down in the comments below! And until next time. . .

Featured Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash