Goodnight, February! Good Morning, March! (feat. all things February Freeze Out, where I ran off to, and a bunch of other random stuff)

EDIT NOTE: I was so excited to actually be posting something for once that I completely forgot to add in some asterisk notes I’d planned on including. SO I’VE FIXED IT. MWAHAHAHAHA.


good morning, cyberspace!

It’s March, peasants! WOOT WOOT! I . . . honestly don’t know where February went. It seems like just a week ago that I was squealing and squawking about February Freeze Out, and now . . . it’s over.

And I hardly posted anything at all about it. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

. . .

Actually, scratch that. I literally posted nothing about it. My plan for the month was to do two posts a week–one normal post, one February Freeze Out update post–and, as I’m sure you can all clearly see, that did not happen. Like at all. I didn’t even manage to give daily updates on my Twitter feed like I had planned, which means that on the updating front of this challenge, I failed most miserably.

On the actual doing of the February Freeze Out challenge, however. . .

tim burton smile GIF

Yeah, I also failed that, too. But now that it’s March, I have NEWS! and UPDATES! and MORE NEWS! about anything and everything February-ish, so let’s just get this over with, shall we?Read More »


Good Morning, 2019! // my 2019 writing goals and an inside look into what the new year holds!

 Happy New Year, cyberspace!

Well, my friends, it is officially a new year. I don’t know about you guys, but personally, 2018 felt really . . . weird. It was simultaneously super short and really long, and I’m not entirely sure what to think of it. I did, however, have a super long list of ALL OF THE THINGS I had planned to get done last year, and–as per the norm–I did basically none of it.

Yeah. I’m really good at following through with my goals, guys. It’s great.

But since it’s finally January–and since I absolutely love portraying myself as the world’s biggest loser in Cyberspace–I thought it’d be fun to go over all of the things that I totally did not do last year.

And also all of the things that I’m totally not going to do this year, because apparently I have a really bad habit of making un-achievable goals and someone really needs to stop me, please.

So let’s jump right into it, shall we?Read More »

The Top 5 BEST Halloween Movies of All Time

good morning, cyberspace!

For those of you who have been living underneath a hollowed-out log for the past 30 days, tomorrow is Halloween.

i know. so shocking.

Ah, yes. Halloween. The most spooky day of the year, filled with children and candy and pumpkins and ghosties and those weird little gummy Dot things you find in the yellow boxes that no one really knows what they are, but they taste okay-ish so you eat them anyway.

Halloween. I’m probably on the opposite end of most Christian people, here, but I absolutely love Halloween. I love the candy and the dressing up. I love eating chocolate until I feel like I might burst and having no regrets because it’s Halloween. I love making caramel corn with my mom and handing out candy and taking back the candy because HOLD UP, G.I. JOE., THAT IS MY SNICKERS BAR!!!!!!! seeing what all of tiny children are dressing up as nowadays. I love dressing up as a mime and breaking my vow to stay silent all day after three hours of pure and intense torture. And above all this — at the very tippity top of my list for ALL THE THINGS that I love about Halloween — I absolutely adore watching Halloween movies.Read More »

All The Many Things I Have Learned From Preschoolers

good morning, cyberspace!

Today’s post is a little bit shorter than usual, folks. In fact, I have a feeling that a lot of my near-future posts are going to be slightly shorter than usual, which, if I’m being honest, is kind of depressing. I thought that once July ended, my proverbial plate would get a little lighter, but due to some very idiotic decisions* and a thirst for storytelling**, this has not come to pass.

you shall not pass lord of the rings GIF

However, because I am nothing if not a DO ALL OF THE THINGS! kind of peasant, I have decided that even though it would be remarkably nice to go on a Hiatus during the month of August, I am not going to.

In fact, I completely and irrevocably refuse to. Because I just got off an? Hiatus. Obviously.

So while all my posts in the near-future might be looking a little less than (and possibly a little late ahahahahahahaha….hahaha…ha [blame my siblings, folks. they coerced me into playing Hello Neighbor yesterday. they’re evil. {jk. i love you, butts}]), I am still going to continue blogging through this slightly stressful time. I’m not going to promise that I’ll have a post out every week, because quite frankly, I’m not sure if that is going to happen. But I can promise that there will be a post at least every two weeks. I’ll shoot for every, but if all else fails. . .at least you’ll know I’ll be coming ’round the mountain eventually, amiright?


. . .

Now let’s move on to the actual meat of this post.

*more details on this are coming soon

**please see above.Read More »

StoryTime with Kenzie! –The Day I (Nearly) Died

good morning, cyberspace!

GUYS. I FINISHED THE THING. *distant cheering* I know that I took waaaaay longer than initially intended for this post, and I am SO SO SO SORRY ABOUT THAT!!!!!! But seriously, if you even knew the entirety of the past couple weeks I had. . .

Ahahahahahaha. . .ahahahaha. . .ha. (please no one ever mention the words ‘wires’, ‘cement’, or ‘Uncle Francis’ to me ever again.)

But, I am not here to make excuses about my busy schedule (but i mean that’s kind of a valid excuse for not being able to post sooner, right? maybe? no?), nor am I here to complain about the day that I probably got heatstroke. Oh no. Today I am here for something much better.

Today I am here to tell you all about the day I nearly died.Read More »

14 Things That I Absolutely Love!!!. . .besides writing. (wait what?)

good morning, Cyberspace!

It is officially the first Tuesday of February! Ack! Where has the time gone? Just yesterday we were starting the new year, and suddenly I’m back on the blogging train, rip-roaring past the I-Didn’t-Schedule-Any-Posts-Like-I-Had-Planned-To station.

Man, I love that station. I fly past it every week on my commute.Read More »

StoryTime With Kenzie! – The $60 Skeleton Scandal

(WARNING: absolutely no exaggerations have been implemented in the transferral of this severely real event into a fictitious tale. some material not appropriate for ages over 60. reader discretion is advised. . .)

It all began in Meijer . . .

Read More »

6 Things I Have Learned From Being A Freshly Graduated Asparagus

Good afternoon, Cyberspace,

Four years ago, back when I was but a smol bean beginning high school, graduation was just a distant fantasy in the blip of a horizon that was my future. It was a dream. A nightmare. A complex idea that I did not know how to comprehend.

Graduation was, to me, the end of my existence. It was the day when everything ended.

It was the day that I would die.Read More »

Nineteen Facts You Never Knew About Me…

Good morning, Cyberspace!

It has come to my attention that sometime during the past week, I have miraculously accumulated 100 followers.

And this is both extremely terrifying and slightly cool.

Extremely terrifying because there are 100 insane weirdos who thought, “Hey! This blog is pretty cool! I shall hit the follow button and STALK THEM FOR ETERNITY.”

Slightly cool because there are 100 insane weirdos who thought, “Hey!” This blog is pretty cool! I shall hit the follow button and STALK THEM FOR ETERNITY.”

And I cannot thank you enough for hitting that follow button.

All 101 of you. (OOH! I shall call you the Dalmatians!!! [if anyone else hits that follow button and ruins this beautiful thing that has spontaneously occurred, I shall come after you with a pitchfork and a slab of concrete.])

And so, in honor of all you fluffy Dalmatians, I have decided to do something a little bit different today–as is the custom of this delightful blog. Instead of the normal rant-tastic post, I’m gonna do a little bit of a trivia thingy, in which I sporadically divulge information about myself that you probably never would have guessed just by reading my blog posts and feeding me your leftover cookies.

Read More »