today I say goodbye to those who didn’t care and never will. those whose voices jeer and snarl and mock the way I live my life as though I’m not living it according to the rulebook which everyone seems to have a copy of but me.
today I say goodbye to the ones who do not like me for reasons quite unknown. because I’m a pretty cool person, or so my stuffed animals tell me. and what use is it to try and live my life to please someone who doesn’t like who I am at my very deepest of cores when there are people who look at me and tilt their heads and smile and think “wow. she’s a weird one. I like that.”
and why would I ever listen to the voices in my ears that tell me I’m too old to play pretend too old for imaginary games too old to love the things I love when I can close my eyes and count to ten and pretend they no longer exist?
I think I lost the girl that I was in the hope that I could become something more. because there’s an expectance for where I am, this unspoken rule that you have to be this and you have to love that or you’re doing something wrong and living your life incorrectly.
well, I don’t like this and I don’t love that and I’m never going to be the person they want me to be. because that girl is angry and sad and small. and I’m a little bit different and a little bit loud and a little bit more than I thought I was yesterday. and if that’s not what they want– if they’d rather have cookie cutters and half-hearted smiles– then I think I’ll just take my pocketful of glitter and find somewhere else to call my for now.
Twenty-one is such a funny age, isn’t it? It’s poetry and ink-stained fingers Hopeful eyes and broken dreams. And yet Scattered throughout the pages of this chapter There is a wish A dream A captured breath That says maybe, just maybe What I’ve wanted all along will come to be.
I’m older and wiser than I was at seventeen. Stronger and fiercer than ever. My dreams are clutched tight in both hands And this time I refuse to let them slip through like water. This time I will release them into the air One by one Watch them sprout wings and fly Flutter through the wind like dragonflies. And maybe Just maybe They will come back to me Land on my fingers and tell me stories of faraway lands And long-lost hopes now forgotten. They will tell me to wish upon a burning star And continue to dream the most dangerous dreams.
Because the only dreams worth chasing Are the ones with the potential to break you.
Just two days ago I emerged from my completely unexpected February half-hiatus with a brief recap of all things February Freeze Out. And I’d been debating whether or not I should post that smudge on Sunday, seeing as though Tuesday was only a couple days out, but in my excitement to finally be posting again, I refused to listen to the logic of long-term and posted it immediately.
Which left me with virtually nothing to post today.
However, luckily for me, I had another poem lodge itself into my brain last weekend and demand I write it, which means i don’t have to expend any time or energy into writing a really complicated blog post I get to share another fun little piece of randomness with you all!Read More »
Now, I am perfectly aware that it has literally been foreeeevvveeerrrr since I’ve actually posted a somewhat normal post around here (a.k,a LISTS and WRITERLY THINGS and also probably more LISTS), but I’m sure we can all agree that NaNoWriMo is somewhat of an attention hogger, which means that between all of the NaNoWriMo Dare Squad posts and the actually trying to conquer the NaNo stuff going on last month, pretty much all of my ‘writerly blog post ideas’ are dead and buried six feet under a blueberry patch mulled over by a puddle of cement.
Today I’m going to be doing something that I’ve talked about doing quite a while now, but haven’t gotten around to actually executing.
I am going to share a poem that I wrote with you.
Now, I know I mentioned opening up a Poet’s Corner a while ago (because, seriously, how cool does that name sound???), but after being honest with myself, I really haven’t written enough poems in my life to consider myself that big of a poet. In fact, the total number of poem’s under my belt is a grand tally of four.
Four poems. And one of them is about a cold virus.Read More »