In Which I Am a Huge Pile of Disappointment (but that does not matter because I AM EXCITED, PEEPS!)

Good morning, Cyberspace!! I have some news to share, and sadly, it is not very good.

For you.

See, it’s about that counter doo-dad over in the corner. Do you see it? That little count-down thingy-ma-bobbin? The one that says we’re only two days away from The End?

Yeah… About that…

See, I had this jolly grand idea a few weeks ago, in which I decided that my first draft of everlost would be finished on the 23rd of March.

Because obviously giving myself a time limit for finishing a first draft was a spectacular idea.

However, after some furious writing over the past weekend (in which I think I lost part of my sanity and a grasp on the mortal world), I have come to the conclusion that I have been writing the ending to this book completely wrong.

And when I say completely wrong, I mean completely wrong. Basically everything I wrote over the weekend is going to have to be tossed in the bin. Immediately.

My first thought when I realized this was, “Okay… So I’ll just push the countdown back. No biggie.”

No no no. Huge biggie. HUGE biggie. I’m talking this biggie is so big I can’t even fit in the same room as it.

See, I realize that this is just a first draft, and first drafts–as the world knows–are supposed to be terrible. But despite my best efforts of trying to allow myself to write terribly, there’s a part of myself that is mortified at the thought that I’m racing through the ending of this book just to get it done.

And that’s just not the kind of writer I want to be. Or, at least, not the kind of writer I want to be for this book.

Because this book that I’m currently writing is quite possibly the one and only single stroke of brilliance I will ever have. And because of that, I want to put as much time as I need into it to make it beautiful, to give it the tone and vision that I see in my head, to map out the ending so that it’s as melodic and vivid as I want it to be. As I know it can be.

And right now, that isn’t happening.

So yeah. My first draft will NOT be finished on Thursday. Or probably by the end of the month; however, April is fast approaching, and with the glistening April storms comes Camp NaNoWriMo, in which I can keep writing, keep fixing, and keep working towards the goal that I have for this book.

“But, Kenzie,” you whine. “What about the countdown? What are we supposed to do for entertainment on the 23rd?”

Ah, dear bean! Never you fear! I’m just going to change the meaning of the count-down to something different! Something that I think will actually be more fun for you guys than hearing me go, “WOOO! I FINISHED MY FIRST DRAFT! BOW BEFORE MY MAGICAL BEING!”, if you can believe it.

because obviously that would have made your day, right?

So even though The End is not ‘the end’ I initially had planned, it is still going to be super fun.

Hopefully.

Oh! And one more thing. The countdown is actually going to be the start of something now, rather than the end of my first draft. So, as it is now fitting, I am going to change the title of it to ‘The Beginning’.

I hope you guys can understand why I’m switching this up seemingly last minute. There’s just too much that I want to change about the end of this book, and I don’t have the time to do it in two days. But I promise that I’ve got something much more thrilling planned, and I am SUPER excited to get started on the end of everlost: first draft 2.0.

And isn’t that the whole point of writing? To love the story you’re telling? To be excited to sit down and write, rather than be like, “Oh joy! Time to go slog through that terrible ending I’m slapping together!! :P”

Because that is literally what I’ve been doing.

I am truly sorry for switching it up, but as I said, I’m SUPER excited for this new plot twist ending thing, and I hope that, once my wonderful beta readers (SHOUTOUT TO YOU GUYS, WOO!) get to read it, they’ll all think it’s totally worth it, too!

Sincerely yours,

A Very Excited Kenzie

(and a thrilled Chess, because he’s literally been hitting me over the head with a dusty old tome trying to get me to understand that everlost: first draft 1.0 was not going well…)

:)

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So what do you guys think? Am I a major disappointment? Did I ruin your lives by switching up the meaning of the countdown? Are you SUPER EXCITED because I’m enthusiastic about this story again???? (I’m hoping that this is the case…)

Oh! And one last little note. I am aware that this is really not a normal Smudge, but do not worry, for I am currently in the process of getting some pictures together for a Smudge that is flying your way next Tuesday, so STAY ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THAT, FOLKS! Squee! :D *throws cookies in the air*