THE END OF CAMP NANOWRIMO: Episode VII – The Final Interview

This episode of LET’S CHAT! is sponsored by Miss Marple Syrup! When your pancakes and attitude could use some sweetening, pour on the Miss Marple! Guaranteed to be your family’s favorite since 1949!

---

---

Kenzie: Good afternoon, Cyberspace, and welcome to yet another episode of LET’S CHAT! Today’s episode is a very special one, because instead of chopping the cast of Project Sunset up into manageable, bite-sized pieces, we’re going to be throwing them all together and introducing mass chaos into the studio!

Kenzie: . . .

Kenzie: We have professionals at the ready in case of any unforeseeable injuries. But enough about that! Let’s introduce the cast! *turns towards the interviewing bench* Welcome back to the studio, guys! It’s wonderful to have you return today for our final episode in our Camp NaNoWriMo series! I also see we have a few newbs here with us today. Would you like to introduce yourselves?

Stanley: I . . . didn’t know I constituted as a main character. . .

Kenzie: Nonsense, nonsense. The new outline definitely gives you ample room to spread your wings. I’m confident you’ll find yourself the center of attention soon enough.

Stanley: Can . . . can we not do that, or. . .? *glances helplessly towards Shelby*

Kenzie: Carlos, Juanita . . . it’s wonderful to have you both join us today, as well! We unfortunately did not have enough air time to showcase you this past month, but maybe now you can take a couple minutes to tell us a little bit about yourselves?

Carlos: Right. Give us a pity party because you failed to include us in the previous episodes, why don’t you? No no, it’s fine, Miss Kenzie. We understand. We’re not the “fan favorites” around here, and therefore don’t deserve an episode of our own.

Juanita: Carlos, I don’t think that’s–

Carlos: Please. Carry on with your happy little interview. We’ll just sit here. In the back. Where you so clearly think we belong.

Kenzie: *sighs* *massages her temples* *mutters something beneath her breath that sounds strangley like “and so it begins”*

Kenzie: Okay, then. Let’s get going, shall we? We have a lot of ground to cover, so I’m going to ask you all to be as brief as you possibly can for the sake of my sanity time.

Sam: *snorts* Good luck with that.

Kenzie: *jabs a finger towards Sam* YOU, sir, are not to speak unless spoken to. You got that? We are NOT going to be repeating what happened last time.

Sam: Oh, please. That’s what the viewers came for.

Eugene: Oh, shut up, old man. You don’t know what the viewers want.

Sam: Less of you, I’d guess.

Kenzie: AHEM. FIRST QUESTION. This one comes from Christine, and she asks: “Do you have any siblings?”

Shelby: Ooh! Ooh! Can I go first? Pick me!! Pleaaaaaaaassseeeee!!!

Stanley: *face reddening as he swats her hand down* Shells, please. Don’t–

Shelby: Stanley’s my brother, and he’s the absolute BEST big brother in the whole entire world. He’s wonderful and perfect and my favorite person of ever.

Stanley: I’m really not–

Shelby: He’s amazing.

Kenzie: Ah, yes. Your relationship dynamic is one of my favorites to write. . . *hisses to camera C* Too bad it ends so poorly, amiright?

Shelby: Wait what?

Kenzie: Moving on. Anyone else have some siblings they’d like to mention?

Eleanor: I have two brothers. Both older. One’s dead. That’s about it.

Kenzie: Wait a second, you have siblings?

Eleanor: Yes, two. I just said that, didn’t I?

Kenzie: Do they have names?

Eleanor: Of course. Gregory and Fredrick.

Kenzie: . . .wow. I never knew this.

Eleanor: Well, you never exactly thought to ask, did you?

Kenzie: Touche. How about you Ed? Any undercover siblings you’d like to bring into the light?

Ed: *huffs* None that you need to know about.

Kenzie: Wait. You can’t possibly have siblings. I’ve gone over your backstory with a fine-tooth comb, my friend. You’re an only child.

Ed: You see what you want to see. Can we move on now? I’d like to get this over with before I die of old age.

Eugene: *prods a finger into Ollie’s chest, who is now snoring loudly into his microphone, his chin digging into his chest* Too late for this one. Poor fellow.

Sam: Poor fellow, my foot. He’s the lucky one. The rest of us should envy him.

Kenzie: Can someone please wake him up? He’s going to miss the whole interview.

Sam: And again I say–LUCKY! *jabs a finger towards Ollie’s slumping frame*

Kenzie: Okay, fine. Let him be. You guys can fill him in later.

Eugene: *muttering to Sam* Right. Like I’m living through this torture twice in a row.

Kenzie: *flips index cards over* Our next question is from Phoebe!: “What is your favorite color?” Shelby, since you actually seem to want to be here, we’ll start with you and go down the line in a nice, orderly fashion.

Shelby: Ooh! Definitely yellow!

Kenzie: Awesome. Ed, how about–

Shelby: Or blue.

Kenzie: O–

Shelby: Or red. Ooh ooh! Or GREEN. Green’s a good color. I love green. Once, I was reading this comic, and there was a giant space frog and–

Ed: *slaps a hand over Shelby’s mouth* My favorite color’s blue. How about you Elle?

Eleanor: Black.

Liam: Like ‘er soul.

Eleanor: *sniffs* Precisely.

Sam: I prefer orange, myself. It’s a soothing color. Reminds me of a sunset.

Eugene: Nah. White is obviously the best.

Sam: *flicks a lock of Eugene’s hair* I can see why.

Eugene: *swats him away* Get your hands off me, you old fart.

Kenzie: Okay, Carlos, let’s start with you for our next question, shall we?

Carlos: *muttering* Because my favorite color obviously isn’t worth knowing.

Beau: Oh, stop it with the pity party, already. You’re not the only one she skipped.

Carlos: Yes, but you got your own episode! You weren’t completely neglected like some kind of–

Kenzie: “Would you rather live in a submarine or a space station?”

Carlos: Well, it’s funny you should ask that, because–

Shelby: Space station! DEFINITELY the space station! Space stations are the best! In Captain Blade, episode 349, he had to go to outer space to find his long lost cousin who’d accidentally been eaten by an alien and–

Beau: Oh for goodness’ sake. You are clearly wrong, my girl. The submarine is the better option of the two.

Eugene: This wouldn’t, by any chance, be because of your obsession with the Beatles song, would it?

Beau: . . .of course not.

Sam: Despite Beau’s horrible taste in music, I have to say I agree with him. You should, too, Eugene. With all those swirlies I gave you in high school, being underwater should feel like home to you by now.

Eugene: *face reddening like an overripe tomato* I hate you.

Carlos: *adjusts bow tie angrily* Ahem. What I was going to say was–

Eleanor: I think I’d choose space station. If it would get me lightyears away from these idiots, I think it would be worth the risk of running into a few aliens.

Liam: Aw, ye don’ mean that. We’re yer favorite people.

Eleanor: Befriending you lot in kindergarten was the biggest mistake of my life.

Liam: If by mistake ye mean ‘best day ever’, then yep. Yer totally right.

Sam: Say, how about you Stan Man? You’re awfully quiet over there. Where would you prefer to live?

Stanley: Oh, um . . . I guess I don’t know. If Shelby’s going to the space station then I’d probably say–

Ed: Submarine? Good choice. Getting as far away from that kid as you can is the best course of action.

Stanley: That’s not what I–

Ed: It’s fine, kiddo. No one’s going to judge you.

Stanley: But I–

Ed: Next question. Let’s keep this ball moving.

Kenzie: I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret asking this one, but here goes. Christine asks: “If you could transform into any type of animal, which type would you choose?” *glances warily towards Sam and Eugene* If someone besides those two could start this question off, I would be eternally grateful.

Eleanor: Well, I, for one, would want to turn into a grizzly bear. Perhaps then I would be taken seriously.

Sam: Aw, Elle, you’ve gotta pick an animal you don’t already resemble.

Eleanor: *rolls her eyes*

Liam: Nah. She’s more of an eagle, ain’t she? Or a hawk. . . Somethin’ with a big beak.

Sam: Speaking of big beaks, you’d pick a pelican, wouldn’t you, Eugene?

Kenzie: No. No. Not this again. Don’t–

Eugene: Well, if we’re going by animals we resemble, then I assume you’d be a naked mole rat, wouldn’t you?

Sam: Why you little–!

Kenzie: ED! What kind of animal would you like to transform into?

Ed: A chameleon.

Kenzie: Wait, really? That’s actually a very interesting answe–

Ed: Because then I could turn invisible and walk right out of here.

Kenzie: *sighs and flips through her cards, all hope for the future of humanity leaving her eyes*

Beau: Technically chameleon’s don’t turn invisible. They simply blend in with their surroundings to hide themselves in plain sight.

Liam: And ye’d be the one to know that, wouldn’t ye?

Beau: As a matter of fact, I would.

Kenzie: Okay. Before you two start going at it, I’m going to have us switch gears. Let’s go a little more lighthearted with our next question, shall we? This one was asked twice, both by Jethan and Becky. Jethan says: “I wanna know what EVERYONE’S hat of choice is, even if they aren’t into hats (maybe they have a warm hat in winter and that’s it).” And from Becky: “What’s your very favorite hat?” Eleanor, Eugene. . .? Since you two seem to be the hat-wearing extraordinaires, why don’t we start off with you?

Eugene: Oh, definitely this one. *whips the raggedy brown newsboy cap off his head* I’ve had this bad boy since high school. Made me quite popular with the ladies, too, I’ll have you know.

Sam: If by “ladies” you mean those two old crows down the street who were constantly buying our blackberries, then yes. You were very popular indeed.

Eugene: *flattens cap back onto his head* Say what you want, but I never saw them give you any free cookies.

Sam: You mean those chocolate chip flavored jaw breakers? Right. Someone please save me from the envy.

Eleanor: Well, I, for one, do not have a favorite hat. Every hat is perfectly wonderful. But I do supposed I’m partial to the feathered variety. Feathers have always been a favorite of mine. . .

Eugene: *coughs* hawk! *coughs*

Sam: *coughs* SHADDUP. *coughs*

Kenzie: Does anyone else have a favorite hat they’d like to toss into the mix?

Liam: Well, I don’t know about any hats, but Beau over there’s got a rather nice headpiece he seems particularly attached to. . .

Beau: *flattening a hand against his ‘hair’ in frustration* For the last time. It. Is. REAL!

Liam: . . .

Eleanor: . . .

Eugene: . . .

Sam: . . .

Liam: No it ain’t, mate.

Kenzie: And we’re moving on! Phoebe asks: “Would you rather be deaf or blind?”

Eugene: Aww, Sammy, you should be the one to answer this one, seeing as though you’ve got the best of both worlds.

Sam: One more word and all you’ll be able to see is my fist in your face.

Kenzie: Okay, is there any question I can ask you all that doesn’t end in a fist fight? Stanley, Shelby, you’re answering this next one.

Sam: But–

Kenzie: No! *jabs a finger towards Sam* I’m done with you two. You’re benched.

Eugene: *wriggles uncomfortably against the very-packed interviewing couch* I think ‘sandwiched’ is a better description. . .

Kenzie: *turns pointedly to Stanley and Shelby* “Are you good with plants?”

Stanley: *blinks* Um . . . no, not really.

Shelby: Aw, that’s not true! We had that cactus once, remember? You were great with that thing.

Stanley: Shells. We killed that cactus.

Shelby: Oh yeah. . .

Liam: How did you kill a cactus?

Stanley: . . .I forgot to water it. . .

Liam: It’s a cactus, mate. It doesn’t need that much attention.

Stanley: . . . for three months.

Kenzie: *tosses card over her shoulder* Okay. This next question is probably one of my favorites from Phoebe: “If you were stranded in a podunk midwest town surrounded by zombies, who would you want with you?”

Carlos: *nudges Juanita* Google ‘podunk’. . .

Sam: Oh, that’s an easy one. Definitely this guy right here. *claps Eugene on the shoulder*

Eugene: Awww. . . Wait, really?

Sam: Sure thing. That way I can feed ya to the zombies and get a head start on my hasty escape while they’re munching on your rotting remains.

Eugene: *swats Sam’s hand off his shoulder*

Liam: I’d want Eleanor with me, personally.

Carlos: *rolls his eyes*

Liam: No, really. One look at her and they’d go runnin’. Ye don’ mess with a woman like Eleanor. She sent the bloody reaper packin’ one day, I swear.

Eleanor: *smooths her hands over her midnight black skirts* It simply wasn’t my time yet.

Liam: See?!

Shelby: Well, I’d want Captain Blade with me. He’d be able fly us out of there in a blip.

Ed: Right. If he actually existed, I might be inclined to agree with you.

Shelby: He does, too, exist!! He’s perfect. *sighs dreamily as she pulls a battered Captain Blade comic out from behind her and holds it close to her chest*

Liam: That chin is proper horrifying, lassie. Ye really need to find a better role-model. Perhaps someone who doesn’t look like they’re tryin’ to grow a barnacle off the bottom half of their face.

Shelby: Hey! Take that back!

Ed: I’d change the flow of conversation now, if I were you. There’ll be tears soon.

Kenzie: Oh goodness. . . *flips rapidly through cards* Okay, okay. Shelby! Here’s a question for you from Anna: “What’s the weirdest memory you have?”

Shelby: Oh wow. That’s a tough one. . .

Carlos: Not for me, it isn’t. Once I accidentally walked in on Liam and Eleanor snogging in the high-school cafeteria. Now that was a nightmare one can’t soon forget.

Eleanor: I beg your pardon! I never–we weren’t–!

Carlos: Well, it was either that, or I was hallucinating from a sugar high.

Liam: Definitely the sugar high, mate. I wouldn’t kiss that old cow if ye gave me thirty bucks for it.

Sam: Thirty! I’d do it for ten.

Eugene: You’d kiss an actual cow for ten dollars, Sam. That’s not really saying much.

Eleanor: Can we please stop talking about this?

Kenzie: Right. How about this one from Phoebe?: “Favorite flavors of ice cream?”

Beau: *slaps hands down* Easy. Mint chocolate chip.

Sam: Cocoa Caramel Cluster.

Eugene: That isn’t even a real flavor.

Sam: Is too! And it’s better than whatever you’re about to spout off. Let me guess. Your favorite ice cream is vanilla, isn’t it?

Eugene: There is nothing wrong with a simple vanilla, thank you very much. Someone has to appreciate the little things in life, unlike you with your Cocoa Caramel Crudmuffin.

Kenzie: Shelby. Please. Please answer the question before I have to murder these two.

Shelby: *side-eyeing Sam and Eugene* Um. . .

Stanley: *whispers* Chocolate.

Shelby: Oh! Right! I love anything with chocolate in it. Or chocolate with chocolate in it. Or chocolate with chocolate in it and chocolate on it. Or–

Liam: Lassie, if you say chocolate one more time, I’m gonna be sick.

Shelby: Oh . . . sorry. . .

Kenzie: I’m surprised none of you have said Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Have I taught you nothing about ice cream?

Liam: Well, seeing as though we haven’t made it to the ice cream parlor yet, no. No, ye haven’t.

Sam: I wouldn’t be wishing for the ice cream parlor scene, there, Liam, seeing as though you’re not aactually a part of it.

Liam: Wait, what?!

Kenzie: Next question! Here’s our last one from Phoebe: “Do you know how to crochet?” Eleanor, you’re into the fiber arts, aren’t you?

Eleanor: Why, yes, I am, actually. But I prefer knitting to croche–

Liam: WHAT DO YE MEAN, I DON’ GET ICE CREAM? What kind of a bloody book is this?

Eleanor: Calm down, Liam. It’s just ice cream.

Liam: JUS’ ICE CREAM?! It’s the best scene in the whole narrative! If ye think I’ll stand for this, ye’ve got another thing comin’, lassie!

Kenzie: Oh, come on. Someone had to get kidnapped by the villain!

Liam: Wait just a minute, here. Yer sayin’ that I don’ get any ice cream, and I’m kidnapped by the villain? Really? Ye think that’s fair, do ye?

Kenzie: *sigh* Would you be happier if I gave you some ice cream while you’re kidnapped?

Liam: Much, thank you.

Kenzie: Fine. We’re moving on now. Our second to last question comes from Madeline, and she asks: “Am I going to cry if I read your story? (KENZIE PLEASE DON’T DO THIS TO ME.)

Kenzie: Easy answer: yes!

Liam: Especially when ye see I don’ get any ice cream. Ye’ll bawl yer bloody eyes out, for sure.

Eleanor: Will you give it up, Liam? Nobody cares about you and your ice cream.

Liam: Wrong. Madeline does.

Sam: I’m pretty sure she doesn’t, mate.

Shelby: Man, I hope no one cries while reading it. That sounds horrible. . .

Ed: Every good story has to have a bit of something sad in it. It’s part of what makes it so good.

Shelby: That sounds like an oxymoron.

Liam: You’re an oxymoron!

Kenzie: Okay, no. I’m answering this question.

Kenzie: *turns towards camera A* Although the point of this book is to be a lighthearted fantasy, I would be lying if I said there weren’t certain elements within it which I hope will elicit some sort of emotion–preferably of the teary-eyed variety. Most of the sad parts have to do with Ed, of course. That’s why he’s one of the narrators.

Ed: Wait a second, what–?

Kenzie: And on to our final question! This last one comes from a very special person–my mom/absolute best friend in the whole entire universe. She also just so happens to be my Alpha reader, so she’s the one that’s going to be witnessing you all in your horrible, second draft glory. So answer this one wisely, my friends.

Kenzie: “Which actor/actress would portray you in the movie of your life?”

Eleanor: Oh, this one’s easy. Maggie Smith.

Shelby: Aww, I can see that!

Liam: This question feels loaded. No one can properly portray me but myself. I’m a man of unique interest. *adjusts tie*

Eleanor: Please. Any man under five feet with intense anger issues could pin you down perfectly.

Sam: Give Danny DeVito a Scottish accent and there ya go.

Liam: Oi!

Sam: As for me, I’ve always felt a strong connection with Ian McKellen. . .

Eugene: *snorts* Right. He’d have to wear a fat suit if you went that route. You’re like five thousand pounds larger than him.

Sam: Oh, really? And who would you pick, pray tell?

Eugene: For you? John Goodman. He’s got the right face shape going, at least.

Sam: I meant for you, you bloody idiot. Who would you be? Robert Culp?

Eugene: What? No. He’s not even alive anymore.

Sam: *hisses* . . .exactly.

Kenzie: And that’s enough from you two. Beau, who would you pick?

Beau: Well, I’ve had some time to think it over, and I do believe that Liam Neeson would do the trick.

Eugene: Oh, come on. You look as much like Liam Neeson as our Liam resembles The Rock.

Beau: That is entirely untrue.

Liam: Huh. The Rock. Now there’s a thought. . .

Eleanor: In your dreams, short stack.

Stanley: No, they’re kinda right, Beau. You look more like a Donald Sutherland to me.

Eugene: Except without the hair.

Sam: And with a poorly manufactured wig.

Eugene: Plop it on top like a waterlogged otter and it’s the perfect match.

Sam: Good job, Stan Man.

Beau: I swear, if you bring up my hair one more time. . .

Sam: It’s not your hair, Beau. Therein lies the problem.

Kenzie: Okay! Shelby! Ed! You have anything to add to this?

Shelby: Well, I mean, the hair does look pretty natural to me, so. . .

Kenzie: *through gritted teeth* I meant to the question.

Shelby: Oh!

Ed: Westburn would be easy to find a match for. Just find an annoying pre-teen girl with hair like a cumulonimbus and a mouth that never stops moving and you’re set.

Shelby: Hey!

Ed: Oh. And make sure she’s obsessed with the most ridiculous comic book character on the planet.

Shelby: Captain Blade is not ridiculous!

Ed: Even his name is ridiculous, kid.

Shelby: Says the man who literally only has two letters!

Ed: Better two letters than two chins.

Kenzie: *switches back to Camera A* And I think that’s enough for today. Thank you all for tuning in with us for our final Camp NaNoWriMo interview, and also to everyone who submitted questions! I am genuinely sorry for the way they may have been answered. You’ll have to excuse these guys. They’ve been in seclusion too long.

Sam: *mouthing to the camera* Help us. . .

Kenzie: To everyone watching at home, thank you and goodnight.

*click*

---

---

TALK TO ME, PEASANTS!

Well, folks, that’s that! It is officially May. Camp NaNoWriMo is over. And the final interview with the cast of Project Sunset is over and done with!

For now, that is. I might have to bust these guys out again once I finish the first draft, but we shall see how they’re behaving. (something tells me that Sam and Eugene will never behave. someone please help me.)

Goodness, this post was a bit of a nightmare to write. Some of the characters are–as you can see–louder than others, which makes trying to balance them all at once rather difficult. BUT I DID MY BEST, FOLKS. XD

Ahem. Anyway. Before I pop out entirely, there is one piece of important news which I must announce really quick:

I’M GOING ON HIATUS, PEASANTS!!!

From now until May 19th, I won’t be posting anything. Probably.

Hopefully.

I’m going to take a bit of a breather from blogging for a couple weeks and instead put my primary focus into my book and catching up on the blogs that I love and have been sadly neglecting. SO. If you have any posts you’ve recently published, please please PLEASE leave their links down below!! I’m in the mood for literally every kind of blog post, so hit me up with all of the recs!

I’ll also be catching up on blog comments, which is another thing I’ve been sorely neglecting. . . (basically I’ve been neglecting the entire blogosphere. it’s fine. i’m fine. someone send me cookies, i need help)

But yeah, that’s my grand announcement! Now let’s talk about you!:

How did your Camp NaNoWriMo go? It’s May now, which means that Camp NaNo is over. *distant sobbing* But I’m actually kind of thankful? I made so much progress last month, and now I’m just trying to cool down a bit to avoid burnout.

What kinds of things are you hoping to accomplish in May? Have you been reading any good books lately? (I’ve been reading Persuasion, and it’s pretty good! Although I’m relatively certain it won’t be knocking Pride and Prejudice out of first place any time soon…)

and most importantly. . .

Which actor/actress would you choose to portray YOU in the movie of your life?

My sister once said she’d pick Amanda Seyfried for me. I’m not sure if I agree with it or not, but I was very flattered. XD

As always, let’s talk about ALL OF THE THINGS! down in the comments below! And until next time. . .