This episode of LET’S CHAT! is sponsored by Miss Marple Syrup! When your pancakes and attitude could use some sweetening, pour on the Miss Marple! Guaranteed to be your family’s favorite since 1949!Read More »
This episode of LET’S CHAT! is brought to you by Agatha Crispies! Start your little sleuth’s morning off right with Agatha Crispies–a breakfast they’ll never forget! (now available: Chocolate Agatha Crispies! Now with 50% less fat!)
KENZIE: Good morning, Cyberspace, and welcome back to another episode of LET’S CHAT! Today I am joined by special guests Sam and Eugene as we continue our journey through Camp NanoWriMo! Sam, Eugene, thank you both so much for being here today.
SAM: Thanks for having me.
EUGENE: She was talking to both of us, you idiot.
SAM: *waves him off* Eh.
KENZIE: So, as you both might already know, you’re here to answer some of our viewer submitted questions. We’ve been sitting on these for over a year now, so hopefully you guys feel up to answering them with the utmost respect and civility.
EUGENE: If you were hoping for civility, I have no clue why you forced me to be interviewed alongside him. That was a very poor choice on your part.
SAM: The shirt you’re wearing was a poor choice on your part, old man.
EUGENE: Oh, for the love of–
KENZIE: QUESTIONS! Who wants some questions?
SAM: Oh, I have some questions, all right. . .Read More »
This episode of LET’S CHAT! is brought to you by . . . Sir Arthur Conan Doilies! Now available in 221 different colors!
KENZIE: Good morning, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of LET’S CHAT! In our last interview, we got a sneak peek into the lives of Ed, Shelby, and Beau–three of the main characters within the universe of SK! Today, we’re going to be interviewing two new characters from that very same cast!
KENZIE: Ladies and gents, boys and girls, please give a big, warm welcome to Eleanor and Liam!Read More »
This episode of Let’s Chat! is brought to you by Hertz Ice Cream.
Hertz Ice Cream. Ice cream so good it Hertz.
Kenzie: Good morning, Cyberspace, and welcome back to yet another illustrious episode of Let’s Chat! As usual, I have some very special guests with me this morning, who I am sure are super excited to be here today. Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, please put your non-existent hands together once more for the glorious, the wondrous, the inconceivably magnificent cast of everlost!
*one man sobbing*
Kenzie: Thank you. Thank you. That will be quite enough, everyone. *turns towards the interview bench* Ah yes. Thank you all so very much for coming. As I’m sure you’re already quite aware, today marks a very significant milestone in each of our careers. Today — this beautiful, wonderfully bright Tuesday — marks the very day that March Hare Madness officially ends.Read More »
good morning, cyberspace!
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, cookies and creme puffs, cyborgs and androids — welcome one and all to the grande finale of the glorious, the wondrous, the most amazing and spectacular event of 2018 — March Hare Madness!
I know, I know. This comes as quite the shock to you all. After all
(this is too many all’s in one paragraph. . .), March only started a few short weeks ago. It can’t possibly be over yet. Not now. Not right when we’re beginning to get into the swing of Spring.
But alas, my friends. It is true. March, though we love it dearly, is ending, and March Hare Madness shall end along with it.
And boy am I grateful.
I don’t know about you guys, but I am getting ex-trem-ely bored of all these March Hare Madness updates. It’s the exact same thing every. single. week. There’s no diversity. No off-beat. No enticing rhythm. I’m over here snoozing and growing a few grey hairs because I have to write yet another post on how my writerly week went. (or didn’t go. aha. [we’ll get into that later.])
It’s just ew. I want this to be over with. And thankfully, this is the last week!
So! Let’s just get this over with, shall we? I’ve got an awesome interview due next Tuesday, and after that, we can finally get back to the usual fun and spontaneity that happens in this tiny corner of Cyberspace.Read More »
good afternoon, cyberspace!
And welcome to Week Two of March Hare Madness! As it happens, I completely forgot to write this blog post over the course of the weekend/Monday like I normally do, and am now sitting at the computer, trying to hash this out on Tuesday morning/afternoon.
Right before this smudge is supposed to be uploaded. So. Be prepared for mass amounts of typos and awful sentence structures, peasants.
But anyway, enough dilly-dallying. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover in regards to all of the wonders that have happened this past week, so let’s dive straight into the smudge, okay? Okay.Read More »
good afternoon, cyberspace!
And welcome to Week One of the glory that is March Hare Madness!!! I am honestly SO excited to share this whole experience with all of you (and have even recruited some of you to join me??? whaaaaaaat…?) and cannot wait to begin.
So let’s jump right into all of the action, shall we?Read More »
This episode of Let’s Chat! is sponsored by Yogurt Pretzels.
Yogurt Pretzels. The delicious Yum Yum that makes writing Fun Fun!
Kenzie: Good afternoon, Cyberspace, and welcome back to Let’s Chat!–your go-to channel to get the latest scoop on all things writerly! Today I happen to have some very special guests with me, who I’m sure are super duper excited to be here this afternoon.
Kenzie: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, cookies and cake crumbs, please put your hands together for. . .
Kenzie: . . . THE ENTIRE CAST OF EVERLOST!
*one man dying*
Thao: We are not the entire cast.
Kenzie: Last time on Let’s Chat!, we interviewed Thao Crowe, the broody, over-the-top doctor from the Locket–
Kenzie: –who loves Jar Jar Binks and has a fetish for fish sticks.
Thao: Okay, this is just uncalled for.
Kenzie: It was during this particular interview that I asked all of you which two cast members you would like to see appear side-by-side for the next character inquiry, and finally, after weeks of
procrastination waiting, I have in my very hands the results we have all been waiting for.
Kenzie: But we’ll get to all of that later. First, allow me first to introduce our lovely cast members! Why don’t we start off by going down the couch and having each of you say something special about yourself? Sort of like a little ‘get to know you’ type of game, yeah? Sound good?
Adaline: *clasps hands together* I love games!
Thao: Wait–no, don’t–
Kenzie: Lovely! Let us begin! Peter, you’re up first.
Peter: Oh. Okay, well, my name is Peter
Peter: I’m 19 years old, and I’ve been renowned as something of a computer and science whiz for. . .well, my entire life, really.
Thao: *snorts like a donkey*
Thao: Wait a minute. . . Okay, NO. I am not putting up with this again! Get that stenographer out of here right this instant, chipmunk, or I swear I’ll–
Kenzie: Thank you so much for your input, Peter! Bella?
Thao: *falls back into couch cushions whilst grumbling profusely*
Bella: Um. . . Hi. My name is. . .er. . .Bella. I’m. . .well, there’s really nothing that great about me, to be honest. I don’t necessarily like talking about myself, so. . .yeah.
Bella: *scrunches back into the couch*
Kenzie: That is perfectly fine, Bella. I’m sure we can weedle more out of you later.
Peter: Excuse me?
Kenzie: You’re up, Adaline.
Adaline: Oh! My turn already?
Adaline: *wriggles forward in anticipation*
Adaline: Hello! My name is Adaline. I like butterflies and pudding and squishy guts that look like pumpkin paste.
Kenzie: . . .
Peter: . . .
Bella: . . .
Thao: Well, isn’t this going to be fun.
Kenzie: Adaline, would you possibly like to clarify on that–
Thao: *shoves Adaline back*
Thao: No, actually, she really wouldn’t. My turn, isn’t it?
Thao: Hello, folks. My name is Thao, and you already know more about me than what I’m sure any sane person would be comfortable with, so if you could just leave me alone and let me suffer through my feeble existence in peace, that’d be great. Thanks.
Kenzie: . . .
Kenzie: Okay. I think that wraps up our getting to know you session. Thank you all for your input.
Kenzie: *shuffles index cards*
Kenzie: Now, I’m sure you’re all extremely curious as to why I’ve called you here.
Peter: I have a few assumptions, actually.
Thao: Let me guess–we’re all going to die.
Adaline: Are you cancelling our story?
Kenzie: Er. . .no. I have actually gathered you here today to talk about something that involves each and every one of you. . .and me. Something terrifying. Something so frightening it is enough to give a grown man nightmares.
Thao: That actually doesn’t take much.
Kenzie: Something deadly.
Kenzie: No. Again.
Kenzie: I have summoned each of you here today to talk about. . .
Kenzie: . . .NaNoWriMo.
Thao: Where in the world did the creepy sound effects come from?
Peter: The title kind of gave it away, didn’t it?
Bella: Oh, I love NaNoWriMo! It’s where we all met!
Kenzie: Now, now, settle down, everyone, settle down. As I’m sure you’re all aware, NaNoWriMo is in precisely–
Kenzie: *hastily tallies on fingers*
Kenzie: 14 days.
Thao: 14 DAYS?!
Peter: We’re doomed.
Adaline: I had pudding 14 days ago. . .
Bella: I thought we were going to plan this year!!!
Kenzie: Guys! Please! I know what I’m doing, here, okay?
Peter: That’s what you always say.
Kenzie: Yeah, well, this time I mean it.
Kenzie: Oh, please, you don’t even know what I’m doing for this year’s NaNo yet.
Thao: Let me guess. . .
Peter: Finishing our second draft?
Thao: Rebelling against everything you’ve ever known and editing instead of writing 50,000 words of utter nonsense?
Adaline: Eating candy. . .
Kenzie: I. . .how did you. . .?
Peter: It’s kind of what you say every month. Like when you said you were going to finish our second draft back in September.
Adaline: And the month before that, too. . .
Peter: And the month before that.
Adaline: And the month–
Kenzie: Okay, okay, I get it.
Thao: I’m still not over the prune juice.
Kenzie: But this time things are going to be different.
Peter: Kenzie, I’m sorry. Truly, I am. But you’ve said this so many times before. How can things possibly be different this time around?
Kenzie: Because this time there’s incentive.
Peter: . . .
Thao: And what is that supposed to mean, exactly?
Peter: I thought finishing a book would be incentive enough for you. . .
Kenzie: Of course it is. But with NaNoWriMo approaching, and my rebellion quickly appearing on the horizon, well. . .
Kenzie: I want to shake things up a bit.
Thao: Isn’t being a NaNo Rebel shaking things up a little too much, already? I’d really rather not have everything we’ve worked for implode like a fizzy soda can at the end of the month.
Thao: You know. Like last time.
Kenzie: That. . .isn’t going to happen.
Kenzie: All that I’m saying is, since I can’t necessarily validate my win this year–
Thao: If you win.
Kenzie: —due to being a rebel, I’m going to turn next month into a game of sorts. A way for us to connect with our fellow audience.
Peter: A game.
Kenzie: At the end of the month, if I’ve completed my goal of finishing the second draft of everlost, I get to give the audience a fun, bloggerly dare. Something that they can all do on their own blogs. Something fun. . .embarrassing. Whatever my little heart desires.
Peter: . . . That actually doesn’t sound half-bad.
Bella: It sounds fun! . . .sort of.
Adaline: Can you make them eat worms?
Thao: *elbows past Adaline to lock eyes with Kenzie*
Thao: And might I ask what happens when you lose? Because I’m pretty sure we can all attest to the fact that you will.
Kenzie: Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Thao. However, if it really does all boil down to that, well. . .
Kenzie: The audience gets to dare me.
Peter: Okay. I can understand why this could provide some incentive for actually finishing, but are you seriously going to take bets on whether you win or lose? You do realize that you have half the story to go through, right? What makes you think that you can do in one month what you’ve failed to do in half a year?
Kenzie: Because this is NaNoWriMo, Peter. All things are possible in NaNoWriMo.
Bella: She’s got a point there.
Kenzie: Besides, this will all depend on whether the audience is up for such a challenge, anyway.
Thao: *mutters* Right. Because I’m sure absolutely no one in Cyberspace would like to see you eat a worm.
Adaline: Bears eat worms. . .
Kenzie: If no one in the audience is willing to participate, we won’t have to worry about me getting any weird dares, now will we?
Peter: It’s your life, I suppose. . .
Kenzie: Exactly. And I control yours.
Kenzie: But anyway, we’re getting ahead of ourselves, aren’t we? Today isn’t about setting up dares and whatnot, but interviewing you guys about NaNoWriMo!
Thao: What could you possibly have to interview us about with NaNoWriMo?
Kenzie: Why, I am so glad you asked, Thao!
Kenzie: Everyone knows to expect the usual flooding of NaNoWriMo posts to swamp their newsfeeds a few weeks prior to November 1st, and while those posts are some of my absolute favorites to read, they are also all about one major thing.
Adaline: Watermelons. . .
Kenzie: . . .
Kenzie: The writer.
Kenzie: So this time around, I wanted to do something a little bit different. Instead of asking myself what I’m most looking forward to when it comes to NaNo, I thought I would take into consideration the lives that I shall be
Thao: Did you just. . .?
Kenzie: So I decided to ask my lovely cast members what their thoughts and opinions on NaNoWriMo were!
Peter: I’m slightly concerned about this.
Kenzie: Not at all, not at all. This will be fun, I promise.
Thao: Don’t believe her. She’s full of lies.
Adaline: And sparkles. . .
Bella: Go ahead, Kenzie. We’ll do our best to answer your questions.
Kenzie: Wonderful! Let’s begin, shall we?
Kenzie: *shuffles index cards*
Let’s Chat! – NaNoWriMo Approaches (feat. the cast of everlost)
Kenzie: Ah. Here we are. Question one. ‘What are you most excited about for this year’s NaNoWriMo?‘
Kenzie: Bella, since you appear to be the most on board with this idea, we’ll start with you.
Bella: Oh! Uh. . .okay.
Bella: I think I’m most excited to simply continue the adventure. I know you’ve already finished the first draft, but there’s just something so. . .new about a second draft, you know? It’s like we get to live everything all over again.
Thao: The horror.
Bella: And there have been some major additions and cuts this time around, so I’m really eager to see how everything pans out in the end.
Peter: Some of the characters could use some major development revamps, however.
Thao: Yeah. Like you.
Kenzie: All right, boys, settle down. Thank you, Bella. That was a wonderful answer. Peter, would you like to go next?
Peter: I’m rather eager to see how Crowe’s character arc turns out. Personally, I think you have a long way to go with it, but then again, I’m not the author. . .
Thao: That’s it, Glasses! At least I’m not some stuck-up, spoiled rotten nobody who–
Peter: You call being a puppet to your grandfather spoiled?!
Kenzie: Children, please! We’re on live TV. Peter, is that your final answer?
Peter: *casts sideways scowl at Thao, who is muttering under his breath like some strange guttural monkey*
Peter: I guess I’m also rather fond of the NaNoWriMo feeling. The rush and exhilaration of creation. I like the strange mix of isolation and community. The excitement is contagious.
Kenzie: Beautifully put. Adaline?
Adaline: I love eating the pudding. It’s my favorite part.
Thao: Of course it is.
Adaline: And I can’t wait to spend more time with my friends.
Adaline: *clasps hands beneath chin*
Adaline: Especially the bear. He’s my favorite.
Kenzie: Aw. How adorable. And as the author, I can personally assure you that there is plenty of you and bear time in the future, Adaline.
Adaline: *eyes light up maniacally*
Thao: Wait, what?!
Kenzie: Ah, yes. What are you most excited for, Thao?
Thao: *scoots away from Adaline*
Thao: I’m excited for it to be over.
Kenzie: Seriously? It hasn’t even officially begun!!!
Thao: The way I look at it, NaNoWriMo is what started all of this. It’s only right that NaNoWriMo will end it.
Peter: That was uncharacteristically poetic of you, Crowe.
Thao: Don’t get used to it.
Kenzie: Okay. Let’s move on to question two: ‘What snacks do you prefer to consume whilst working, procrastinating, adventuring, ect.?‘
Thao: Well, that’s easy. Low calorie snacks are usually my go-to, but I have to make sure they’re small enough to stuff into the oversized pockets of this lab coat, because technically I’m not allowed to snack on the job, but–
Kenzie: Ahem. *points*
Thao: Er. . .what are you–?
Kenzie: *points pointedly towards back wall*
Thao: Is that. . .a teleprompter?
Kenzie: . . .
Thao: Yogurt. . .pretzels. Why does that screen say yogurt pretzels?
Kenzie: Yogurt pretzels are a delicious snack, Thao. What a lovely choice.
Thao: Wait a minute, that’s not what I–
Peter: M&M’s all the way.
Thao: Are you kidding me?!
Adaline: I love vanilla pudding. . .
Thao: Really, Loony? We never would have guessed.
Kenzie: Hush, Thao. No one picked on you for liking yogurt pretzels.
Thao: Okay, I never said that I–
Kenzie: Question three.
Thao: Of course.
Kenzie: This one pertains more to the story creation elements of NaNoWriMo, but I’m quite eager to hear your input: ‘What scenes are you most looking forward to reenacting this November?‘
Peter: The Prune Juice Fiasco was always a personal favorite of mine, actually. . .
Thao: Don’t you even dare, Glasses.
Bella: They actually had to cut that one out this time around, remember? They couldn’t get the timelines to match up.
Kenzie: How about you, Adaline? Any scenes in the second half that you’re looking forward to?
Adaline: I always liked the part where the bear murders a man. . .
Thao: Okay, WHAT?!
Adaline: The blood is very realistic.
Kenzie: . . .
Kenzie: How. . .lovely.
Kenzie: Does anyone have anything else they’d like to add? Something that doesn’t deal with death and gore, perhaps?
Thao: How about the scene where I get off this blasted island and never return?
Bella: That never happened. . .
Thao: Shut it, cow-belle.
Kenzie: Hey, now.
Thao: Or how about that lovely little bit where I strangle Glasses’ neck with a piece of rope? That scene is largely overdue, in my humble opinion.
Kenzie: I think we’ll just move on to question four now. . .
Peter: That might be for the best.
Thao: Or the one where Loony starts singing that creepy song under her breath in the elevator? That was always a favorite. Really freaked out the children.
Kenzie: *flips index cards*
Kenzie: Question four: ‘If you could trade roles with any one of your cast members, which would you pick and why?‘
Peter: But he’s dead.
Thao: . . .
Bella: I don’t know as if I’d want to trade places with any of my castmates, actually. I like who and where and how I am. My past might have been. . .difficult. . .but the things that I’ve gone through have only made me stronger. I like being me.
Adaline: *tilts head* I would switch with Rose. She likes to come out and play sometimes, you know.
Thao: Does switching roles with a castmate automatically change your current physical location, because I would literally switch with anyone on this entire planet to get away from this filthy, cramped sofa of lunacy.
Kenzie: Hey! I just had that sofa cleaned yesterday.
Kenzie: The cat vomited on it, so it was a necessity, you see.
Thao: . . .
Thao: On second thought, dead Geoff really does sound like a delightful option at the moment.
Kenzie: All right. This next question is one that I’m hoping you will all take very seriously, as it is one that–if answered properly–has the potential to help out both NaNoWriMo characters and their writers.
Kenzie: And we all know that us NaNoers can use all the help we can get, amiright?
Thao: How many more questions are there?
Kenzie: Question 5: ‘What is your best possible survival advice for a character who is preparing to undergo their very first NaNoWriMo?‘
Peter: Technically, a character should only undergo a NaNoWriMo session once, as their story should be completed within the course of a single month.
Kenzie: Yes, well. . . *coughs* That’s not the case in this current situation, now is it?
Thao: That’s never the case when it comes to you. What is this? Our. . .what? Third NaNoWriMo?
Peter: Fourth, actually. There was the July session, too.
Thao: *shudders* Right.
Kenzie: All right, all right, I think we get the picture. You guys have undergone many NaNoWriMo’s. Just answer the question, will you? Please.
Bella: I’ll go first, if you want.
Kenzie: Thank you, Bella.
Bella: *stares down at folded hands* I think my advice to any new characters would be to trust your writer. . .and also vice-versa. A story is a relationship between both writer and character. If there’s no trust on either side, the fabric of the entire tale will crumble. Trust is essential to a good story, to a creative world. . .and to a successful NaNoWriMo.
Thao: That’s ridiculous. You seriously expect me to trust this chipmunk? She’s mental.
Peter: Thus the Prune Juice Fiasco of chapter 26.
Thao: . . .
Peter: My personal recommendation for new characters would be to get a lot of sleep and drink a lot of water. You’re going to be doing extreme amounts of action these next few weeks–tons of line-learning and choreography. It’s going to wear out both your muscles and your mind faster than you could ever anticipate. People say that caffeine helps with the mental fatigue, but I’ve found that water hydrates a lot better than coffee when it comes to a parched mouth after giving a three-page monologue in Act Two.
Peter: And as for sleep, what with all of the excitement and fast-paced drama, there’s going to be very little time for rest. So get as much as you can whenever you can. Your story can wait, but your mental health can’t.
Thao: And to think I was about to deny the fact that you were capable of delivering a three-page monologue.
Kenzie: How about you, Adaline? You seem awfully quiet over there.
Adaline: Oh. They should follow the butterflies. The butterflies always know where to go.
Kenzie: . . .
Kenzie: Right. Thao?
Thao: Get out. Get out as fast as you can and never turn back. Believe me, absolutely nothing good waits ahead.
Peter: That is literally the worst advice you could have given them, Crowe. They’re most likely frightened enough, as it is.
Thao: Exactly. They deserve to know the truth.
Kenzie: *claps hands together* All right, folks, I think it’s time we began wrapping this episode up.
Kenzie: Our final question is. . . ‘In a single word, describe what NaNoWriMo is to you.‘
Adaline: I don’t think that was a question. . .
Kenzie: I said one word.
Thao: I’m a rule-breaker.
Peter: You’re a lot of things.
Kenzie: Okay, then! Well, folks, that does it for our everlost interview. I hope you enjoyed our lovely guests’ answers to some rather spontaneous questions. I know I sure did.
Kenzie: But before we officially sign off for this afternoon, I have some very exciting news to share with all of you!
Kenzie: I have–right here in my very palm–the poll results we have all been waiting for. And so, without further ado, allow me to present to you the names of our next interviewees. . .
Kenzie: *slits open envelope*
Kenzie: And the next interview pair to appear on Let’s Chat! will be. . .
Kenzie: . . .
Kenzie: . . .
Kenzie: . . .
Kenzie: THAO AND ADALINE!!!
Adaline: *squeaks in delight*
Thao: *face pales to the shade of a ghostly ghoul*
Thao: What?! NO!!!!
Thao: *lunges out of seat*
Thao: GIVE IT TO ME!! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW, CHIPMUNK! HAND IT OVER RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR–
Peter: Can we have some security in here, please?
Kenzie: And that, folks, officially wraps up this week’s episode of Let’s Chat! I hope you’ve all had a wonderful time getting better acquainted with our cast members.
*men in uniforms enter stage-left and begin carting the squealing man away*
Kenzie: I know I’ve sure made some interesting discoveries.
Kenzie: As always, until next time. . .
Thao (somewhere off stage): I am NOT doing this again! She can’t make me! Not with that. . .that THING!
Peter: I’ll go help them knock him out.
Adaline: *waves* Bye!
Kenzie: *flings cookies in the air and disappears*
talk to me, peasants!
Well, then. That was quite different.
So what do you think, Cyberspace? Are you participating in NaNoWriMo this year? If so, are you planning on joining the rebellion, or being a traditionalist? What are your top tips for surviving NaNoWriMo? Can YOU describe the NaNoWriMo experience in one word? (or LESS?!)
Let us talk about ALL OF THE NANOWRIMO THINGS in the comments below!
And don’t forget to watch out for a special petition coming at you on Thursday, in which I begin taking signatures for the NaNoWriMo Dare Squad!
Are YOU up for the challenge?
*flings cookies in the air and disappears*
Good afternoon, Cyberspace! Remember last month when I introduced you guys to one of my darling smol characters–Thao–and pleaded with you to give me some questions to ask him in the next cast interview?
Yeah, neither do I.
Here’s a refresher. . .
So apparently last month I participated in the wonderful Beautiful People linkup hosted by Cait and Sky, and at the end of said post, I asked you guys to shoot me some Q’s down in the comments so that I could host the second ever everlost Interview.
And, as always, you guys supplied me with some amazing questions!!! So today I am finally chaining Thao down and asking him ALL OF THE THINGS that y’all have been wondering!
Sounds fun, right?
Of course it does.
Let’s get started!
— everlost Interview #2 – Introducing Thao Crowe —
Kenzie: Good afternoon, Mr. Crowe! How are you doing on this glorious turquoise Tuesday?
Thao: Ew. The name’s Thao. Mr. Crowe is my grandfather. Do I look like an eighty-year-old balding geezer to you?
Thao: Don’t even start.
Kenzie: Heh. Sorry. Okay, well, now that we’re on the subject of your name, a lot of our questioneers were wondering how you pronounce it? Thao seems to be a rather uncommon title.
Thao: You’re the one who gave it to me. It’ s your own fault no one can pronounce it.
Kenzie: Just answer the question, please.
Thao: Fine. It’s pronounced THAY-O. Like a fillet-o-fish. Except I’m not a disgustingly pulverized piece of meat that’s been fried to a golden crisp. Happy?
Kenzie: Extremely! Let’s get onto the rest of the questions. *shuffles index cards*
Kenzie: Our first question is from loverofwriting2! She asks, ‘how is your relationship with your father, and is he still living?’ Ooh… This is a good one.
Thao: Are you going to say that after every single one of these?
Thao: *rolling his eyes up to the ceiling* Wonderful. My father, if you really feel the need to pry into my personal life, is actually dead. He died when I was a kid, as I’m sure you, chipmunk–of all people–already know.
Kenzie: Gee. I’m sorry, Thao. That must have been really hard for you.
Thao: You’re the one who DID it!
Kenzie: *shrugs* Some things must be done for the greater good, as you will eventually come to understand. So…how was your relationship with your father before his rather…untimely death?
Thao: I cannot believe this is actually happening right now.
Kenzie: Answer the question, please!
Thao: It was great. Absolutely spiffy. Can we just get on with this? I have some patients to attend to.
Kenzie: Okay! Well, it seems like we have a couple more questions from loverofwriting2… ‘Do you have any siblings’?
Thao: No. I’m an only child, thank goodness. Children are disturbing.
Kenzie: How about friends?
Thao: Fine, fine. I guess Nate could be classified as an…acquaintance. You could say he’s a bit of an eccentric. He’s always accusing me of stealing his food, but just between you and me, I think he just forgot that he ate it already.
Kenzie: *sighs* That’s all you have to say on the subject of friends?
Kenzie: Uh-huh. Moving on… Our next question comes from loverofbunnies2.
Thao: Who even are these people?
Kenzie: Shut up, Thao. Okay! So loverofbunnies2 asks, ‘Why do you hate…HER so much? Does SHE get on your nerves, or what?’ Heh… This question is gold…
Thao: You’re kidding.
Kenzie: Afraid not.
Thao: You expect me to talk about…about HER? This was NOT in the contract!
Kenzie: The contract said you had to answer every question, so…
Thao: No. No no no. You KNEW this would happen, chipmunk. You KNEW it. You set me up for this. So you know what? You can just take those little index cards of yours and–
Kenzie: I would have thought you’d enjoy a chance to tell everyone what “she” did to you…
Thao: *folds his arms* Fine. *turns to face audience* You want to know what happened? I’ll tell you what happened. That deranged, psychotic loon threatened to—
Kenzie: So sorry to interrupt, but that information is classified.
Thao: Excuse me?
Kenzie: That information is classified. You’ll have to choose something else.
Kenzie: *smiles angelically like the angel child that she is*
Thao: Alright. Fine. After she–
Thao: –and threw me in a–
Thao: Will you stop with that, already? I’m trying to answer the question, here.
Kenzie: You keep giving away spoilers.
Thao: GARH! Fine! She’s a complete and utter lunatic who chases sparkling figment butterflies! Do I need to justify my reasoning any more than that?
Kenzie: Not unless you want to.
Kenzie: I mean, that’s a little vague, but…
Thao: Just ask the next question.
Kenzie: Are you sure you–
Thao: NEXT QUESTION.
Kenzie: Wonderful! The next question comes from rosedalearts: What would you like to do on the mainland?’
Thao: What, so everyone knows of my hatred of this pathetic island now?
Kenzie: Pretty much, yep.
Thao: You don’t have anything better to do than blab about my personal life on the internet? Like, oh, I don’t know…maybe blab about your own personal life? Have you never heard of a little thing called privacy, chipmunk?
Kenzie: I created your privacy, Crowe. Now answer the question.
Thao: *flops back in seat like a spoiled child* Everything. Nothing. I just want off this demented island, okay? As long as I’m at least 5,000 feet away from my grandfather at all times, I’ll be content. Do you know how well restraining orders work on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere?
Thao: They don’t. That’s how.
Thao: Wait a minute. Did that man just write ‘*flops back in seat like a spoiled child*’? I am not a spoiled child! I’m not even a child!
Kenzie: Next question!
Thao: Who is that guy?
Kenzie: This one also comes from rosedalearts, and she writes: “What does your apartment look like?
Thao: *completely discombobulated as he turns back to Kenzie from trying to figure out who
I the amazing and all-knowing stenographer am is* Because that isn’t an extreme invasion of privacy at all.
Thao: Look, I don’t know what you want me to say, okay? My apartment looks like an apartment. It’s got white walls, a ceiling fan… I tried growing a plant once, but it died. Presumably because of all the germs I contract on a day-to-day basis. My beta fish, Rocky–
Kenzie: *grins at audience*
Thao: –has a little bowl on a stand and…wait. Why are you grinning like that?
Kenzie: *hastily hides Rocky’s Life poll results beneath the carpet* Nothing, nothing…
Thao: Where’d that carpet come from?!
Kenzie: What are you talking about?
Thao: That carpet! It just spontaneously materialized on the–
Kenzie: Do you have anything else to add to this question?
Thao: Not…not really…? It’s a rather small apartment. Tiny. Boring. Not much to add.
Thao: *stares at Kenzie with a suspicious glint in his left eye*
Thao: So help me, if you did something to Rocky…
Kenzie: What?! Why would you say that? I haven’t done anything to your smol little bean fish… *cough*not yet, mwahahahaha*cough*
Thao: Did you seriously just maniacal laugh between coughs?
Kenzie: Our next question comes from shewillwriteandwrite!
Thao: Now you’re just ignoring me.
Kenzie: She asks, “What would your dream job be?”
Thao: Wow. I…really don’t know how to answer that one.
Thao: I guess I’ve never really seen myself apart from being a doctor. It’s what the Crowe’s do. We’re doctors. It’s what my father wanted me to do. It’s what my father’s father wants–and forces–me to do. It’s what my father’s father’s father’s father wanted all of us to do, apparently. I’m pretty sure gramps has some sort of legal document binding the entire line of Crowes to the doctoring life.
Kenzie: Right. But if you weren’t a doctor–if you weren’t bound by your sickly grandfather’s manipulative will–
Thao: My grandfather is not sickly.
Kenzie: –what would you want to be?
Thao: Seriously, chipmunk, how am I supposed to know the answer to that? I’m a doctor. That’s my lot in life, and there’s literally no way I’m getting out from beneath my grandfather’s thumb until he dies. And unless you have your own personal trained assassin to slip poison into his goblet of daily prune juice–
Kenzie: *shifts eyes suspiciously*
Thao: —he ain’t going anywhere. The man’s a walking medical miracle, I tell you. He’ll still be wandering around aimlessly once we’ve all been burned to a crisp by Armageddon.
Kenzie: I don’t think that’s physically possible, actually…
Thao: *snorts* You have obviously never met my grandfather.
Kenzie: So you’re telling me that there’s literally nothing you would rather do than be a doctor?
Thao: What do you want me to do? Just pull something out of thin air? Give me a job that doesn’t include bunion cream and loonies and you’ve got yourself a buyer.
Thao: Tell me about it, chipmunk. Tell me about it. You’re the one who did this to me, after all. Or have you conveniently forgotten that fact?
Kenzie: *flips index cards nervously* Right, well… Next question! This one comes from Ruby Sky, and she asks, “What Star Wars character is your favorite?”
Thao: Star Wars? You mean that excruciatingly lame movie that only a geek would ever–
Kenzie: You have the boxed set, Thao.
Kenzie: Favorite character. Spill.
Thao: *does strange contortions with his rather pointed face* Jar Jar Binks.
Kenzie: Ha! Are you serious?
Thao: What? I always feel a lot better about my own pathetic life after seeing how many people would love to strangle his fibbly neck between their fingers.
Kenzie: You’re lying! You really do like Jar Jar!
Kenzie: I bet you have the little plush doll and everything…
Thao: You know nothing.
Kenzie: Oh my word, you do!
Thao: Next question.
Thao: I said next question!
Kenzie: Alright, alright! Oh! By the way, Ruby Sky has officially adopted you as her smol nephew. Just thought I should mention that real quick.
Thao: Wait, what?!
Kenzie: Our final two questions from the audience come from To be a Shennachie! “What is your earliest memory?”
Thao: Gee, I don’t know. Probably something dumb, like puking up baby food that smelled like rotten cabbages.
Kenzie: That is disgusting.
Thao: Actually…you know what? I think it was the Crowe family Christmas party of 3010. I was four at the time. All my idiotic cousins were receiving these extremely lame toys that you just knew they were going to break before the night wore out, and you know what I got?
Kenzie: Dare I ask?
Thao: A stethoscope. And not even one of those pathetic little plastic ones you give to nerdy kids who want to play pretend. A real stethoscope. Complete with a lesson from my darling grandfather on how to use it. The best part of that night was convincing my cousins that they were on the verge of heart-failure so that they’d go crying to their parents and I could play with their toys.
Kenzie: That sounds horrible!
Thao: Believe me, it was.
Kenzie: That’s not what I…never mind. I think we should just go to our final question here… To be a Shennachie asks, “Why ‘Rocky’?”
Thao: Why not Rocky? You think I’m going to name him something fishy like Blubbles? Of course not. That’d be weird.
Kenzie: And naming a fish Rocky, isn’t?
Thao: He has rocks in his bowl. He likes his rocks. Maybe he wants to show his devotion to his rocks. You don’t know him. You don’t know his life.
Kenzie: You’re getting a little defensive, there, Thao…
Thao: You don’t know what he’s been through.
Kenzie: Okay, I think we’re just going to wrap this little interview up for now…
Kenzie: Thank you so much to everyone who sent in questions! I am sure our special guest has had a wonderful time answering them all!
Kenzie: Our next interview will take place soon, so go ahead and cast your votes for who you’d like to see strapped to the electric chair next!
Thao: Wait, what???
Kenzie: And don’t forget that next time it will be a double interview, so make sure you vote for whichever pairing you’d like to see take the stage together. *clasps hands gleefully* So many delicious combinations!
Thao: You’re honestly starting to frighten me…
Kenzie: Oh! That reminds me… Thao, I sort of promised the audience that you would rip the spotlight from the ceiling and run away with it, so…you know…if you could just do that real quick.
Thao: What?! Are you insane? That isn’t even possible!
Kenzie: Sure it is! Just sort of reach up and snatch the–hey! Where are you going?!
Thao: Anywhere but here.
Kenzie: But you have to steal the spotlight!!!!
Thao: I’m pretty sure you’ve already done that, chipmunk.
Kenzie: Thao, wait!!! You just have to–UGH! Hold on…
Kenzie: *yanks spotlight out of the ceiling*
*electric sparks fizzle into the audience*
*people shoving towards the fire exits*
Kenzie: *forcing the spotlight into Thao’s arms*
Kenzie: TAKE THE SPOTLIGHT!
Kenzie: TAKE IT!!!!!!
Thao: I don’t want tha–
Kenzie: I SAID TAKE IT!!!!!!!
*room explodes into darkne–*
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . . RESTART AND TRY AGAIN . . .
— The Poll —
talk to me, peasants!
Well, that escalated quickly…
Alright, Cyberspace, so what did you think? Do you think Thao is a lovely smol bean, or is he rather annoying?
possibly rude??? Are you excited for the NEXT everlost interview, or do you wish these things would just stop because they are so odd??? And most importantly, did YOU ever have one of those fun little stethoscope thingies??? cause I totally did…
Let us chat about ALL OF THE THINGS down in the comments below!!!
But first…did you make sure to vote for the next set of interviewees? If you haven’t, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? VOTE, MY SMOL CRUMBLINGS! VOTE!
*flings cookies in the air and disappears*
Good day, Cyberspace! It is yet another Tuesday! Another bright, shiny, turquoise day that we can all share together. Let’s just take a moment to breathe it all in, shall we?
Okay, enough breathing. Let’s get on with the Smudge.