Not Today.

Good Morning, Cyberspace!

Now, I am perfectly aware that it has literally been foreeeevvveeerrrr since I’ve actually posted a somewhat normal post around here (a.k,a LISTS and WRITERLY THINGS and also probably more LISTS), but I’m sure we can all agree that NaNoWriMo is somewhat of an attention hogger, which means that between all of the NaNoWriMo Dare Squad posts and the actually trying to conquer the NaNo stuff going on last month, pretty much all of my ‘writerly blog post ideas’ are dead and buried six feet under a blueberry patch mulled over by a puddle of cement.

In other words — they do not exist.

However. Even though I know you’re all dying to hear more sage advice from Yours Truly about the beautiful craft that is writing, I’m sadly going to have to disappoint you once again.

Instead of actually writing a post that is 10% helpful and 99% full of random nonsense and puns which you must painstakingly sift through to find the nutritious nubbins, I’ve spontaneously done something a little more fun this week. (fun for me, obviously, not you, what are you talking about)

I wrote a poem.

A weird poem. A bizarre poem. A slightly dark and creepy poem that may or may not be the greatest thing since The Raven. Who knows.

WARNING: this is absolutely nothing like The Raven.

And so, because I kind of fell in love with this little poem whilst writing it, I thought I’d spontaneously share it with the whole of Cyberspace.

Because obviously that’s what you do with things you love — you blast it recklessly out across the internet in the naïve hope that other people will love it, too.

It’s what I do with books. And cookies. And my totally normal obsession with Jim Moriarty.

 

Image result for moriarty gif
I have no shame. (also this GIF is perfection and I believe it is from giphy.com (#don’tsuemeplease)

 

But anyway.

I actually started out trying to write a single little poem as a way of helping me push through a bit of a rough patch I’ve been struggling with recently, because I’ve often found that sometimes it is poetry that helps me get my deeper thoughts out on paper, rather than fiction. I write fiction and fantasies to escape from this world, but I write poetry to battle it.

But as I began to dive deeper into the poem, and the words began to flow from my pencil, I soon realized that this was not a single poem, but two poems wrapped into one. Or, as I like to call it, a split poem. A good way to look at it is two perspectives of a single situation — the heads and tails of a penny. Light Vs. Dark. Hope Vs. Despair. And even though the format of the two poems has them wound within each other, it’s best read if you read each poem separately, because otherwise it just becomes really stilted and weird and definitely not fun to read.

(I’ve tried it both ways, folks.)

So here you go, my friends. For your perusal, enjoyment, and possible critique from all you negative beans out there, here are my smol little poems. Some of it is free-verse. Most of it rhymes. Some of it makes absolutely no sense, and some of it makes so much sense that it physically hurt me while writing it.

So basically I know not how to poem, but here we are. . .



Not Today.

a poem by Kenzie Keene

A thousand cracks run through my skin –

A thousand cracks run through my skin –

battles I’ve fought, but never win.

battles I fight and will one day win.

Darkness spreads its icy wings,

Darkness haunts me in my dreams –

and in the silence, beckoning,

shifting shadows, swirling flames.

it reaches for me –

It reaches for me –

fingers snapping –

taking form –

pulls me deep into its clutches.

but I stand firm within the storm.

 

 

There’s no way out of this dark place.

The dark surrounds me like a stain.

All light is gone without a trace.

It tries to crush me with its pain.

I find myself slipping away.

Dark wings descend to sweep away.

I once would fight, but not today.

I once was weak. But not today.

For what’s the point when all is lost?

For even now, my hope remains.

To win a bout, but at what cost?

I know a man who tamed the flames.

We win a battle, lose the war.

We’ll lose these battles, but win the war.

 

 

Please tell me what I’m fighting for.

I know now what I’m fighting for.

 

 

The fissures spread into my veins.

There’s light inside my splitting skin-

Each nerve, each thread now burst to flames.

a spark for each place that I’ve been.

A tender voice in darkness sings –

Each battle lost earns a new seam.

a whisper swept o’er dying things.

A cut through which His light may gleam.

A phoenix rises from the ash –

I was once unbroken, but am no more –

A vision sent to call me back.

These scars let me shine more than ever before.

 

 

But darkness never fails its hold.

Though darkness lures me like a trap,

It grips me in this screaming cold.

its hold on me I shall now snap.

Even now my heart begins to shatter –

For I’ve seen through its vile charms,

sparks of silver, beating matter.

and choose refuge in my savior’s arms.

I watch them as I slip away.

A warrior stands as I fall to pray.

I should have fought.

I could give in.

But Not Today.



talk to me, peasants!

And there you have it, Cyberspace! What did you think? I know I’m not the BEST poet around, but when has that ever stopped me from trying to be a rip-off Poe? #never

I’m not exactly sure what questions to ask to spark conversation on a smudge like this, so let’s just go with the random things, shall we? What is your absolute favorite poem? Favorite poet? Favorite vegetable. Let us talk about ALL OF THE FAVORITES down in the comments below, okay? Okay.

And also tell me what you thought of this poem. (Because I need validation, apparently.)

As always, until next time. . .

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*

43 thoughts on “Not Today.

    • AWWWWWWW!!! Thank you SO much, Felicity!!! *squishes happily inside hug* XD And I KNOW, RIGHT??? Split poems are my life. I think there’s probably an ‘official’ term that they’re labeled by, but I have no idea what it is. XD I like calling them split poems, though, so that is what I shall call them for eternity! XD

      AWWWWW!!!! Oh my word!!!! You are far too kind!!!!! *hugs* 💗💗💗

      Liked by 1 person

  1. That was way more dramatic and deep then the usual cookie flinging here, and it works! It’s sorta like being transported to an epic fantasy world as some ominous final battle looms on the horizon.

    Makes me think about that passage about being jars of clay with treasures inside, so each little crack in the jar lets the gold inside gleam through.

    I don’t know what my favorite poem is. Maybe “The Battle of Maldon.” The more ancient the poem, the better.
    I like broccoli and potatoes, but potatoes seems too starchy to declare it my favorite vegetable, so I’ll go with broccoli.

    Liked by 1 person

    • MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can get deep occasionally. Not often, but SOMETIMES. *strokes pitchfork happily* XD And AWWWWWW!!! Oh my word, thank you so much!!!!!! I’m so glad you liked it!! And OOOOH. That is officially the perfect aesthetic for these poems. I love it…

      YES!!! I was actually inspired by this song my sister mentioned once, about how broken things let the light shine through them more than the unbroken, and so I think there are definitely some parallels between that song and the passage you’re talking about! I’m not sure if I’ve ever read or seen (or if I have if I remember seeing it) that particular one about the jars of clay, but I LOVE the analogy. It helps me remember that my brokenness helps me shine brighter than if I had never been broken in the first place.

      Ooh! I don’t know as if I’ve ever read that! Ancient poems are definitely the best. Especially when you can practically envision it etched into a weathered scroll… (I kind of have an obsession with scrolls…XD)
      BROCCOLI AND POTATOES ARE THE BEST!!!! I’d probably have gone with the potato, though. XD I LOVE potatoes. Potatoes give me my will to survive. 😂😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Welp. The pitchfork is back, it’s business as usual now. xD

        I can definitely see how once broken things let the light shine. The people who inspire me are the ones who went through hard, impossible trials and came through still good because of God. Someone with a really safe, successful life doesn’t have that kind of power/testimony.

        This makes me want to work on one of my stories that has ancient poems in them.
        Except…how do I write poetry…? xD

        POTATOES!

        Liked by 1 person

        • The pitchfork is ALWAYS back. XD

          Exactly!! I love looking at the world that way, because even though we’ve been through some tough stuff, we can still shine and let God work miracles through our lives! Just because we’re broken doesn’t mean we’re useless.

          OOOOH! You have a story with ancient poems in it???? I AM ALL THE JEALOUS!!!! And also want to know ALL OF THE THINGS. (please? pretty please??? XD) Poetry is HARD, sir. But it is SO much fun!!!! I love experimenting with free-verse and rhyming and different rhyme schemes… I never really think of myself as a poet, but it’s fun to pretend sometimes! XD

          POTATOES ARE LIFE!!!!

          Liked by 1 person

          • xD

            That is it exactly, we’re still useful.

            Yeah, ancient poems that I have to make up. Except now I’m getting ideas for Sheyla again, so who knows where my creative energies will go.
            Ah, there we go, I shall pretend along with you and make up my own poem structures at that!

            Like

            • YES!!! :DDD

              Oooh… It’d be so fun to make up ancient poems!!! But also difficult, because you’d have to make them ancient. XD YES! WRITE ABOUT MY SMOL BABY SHEYLA!!!! AND THE SCROLLS. Actually, just write ALL OF THE THINGS and I shall be content, thanks. XD
              Yes! It is 10/10 recommended. I mean, the only way we ever become something is by first pretending that we ARE said thing, yes?

              Liked by 1 person

              • I also have to make up a language for them to be spoken in. :/
                So I will definitely be making up my own poem structure to go along with it. xD
                Maybe I should work on some practice snippets in English first…
                Scrolls?
                I think I’m in imagination/planning phase for Sheyla’s next part of the story, so things are happening. I do need to write more things…

                xD
                Imposter Poets!

                Liked by 1 person

                • Oh dear… That sounds complicated… XD OOOOH! I hope you share once you do it!! That would be so cool to read!!!

                  YESS! Definitely try it in English! Writing poetry is SO much fun, especially when you just sort of let it come naturally. At least, that’s what I TRY to do. I can’t say as if that’s what happens all of the time, though… XD
                  I HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH SCROLLS, APPARENTLY. #oops? But scrolls are very nice. I want to write about scrolls…
                  OOOOOH! This is so exciting!!!! I have just one more Christmas gift to make, and then I can officially wrap everything and begin trying to write everlost again before Christmas hits. That is, if I can finish the gift a few days before Christmas… I hope I can. XD

                  XD

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • I started a poem! It’s in English, because that’s the only sensible thing to do. I’m not sure when I’ll finish it. I also have a half drawn picture I want to post with it. I’m looking forward to the dramatic combo. >:D

                    Scrolls are fun. ^.^
                    I wrote a tiny smidge more. At some point I’m going to have to fix my timeline issues…

                    Oh, yes! Good luck finishing up the Christmas gifts and I hope you get some time to write!

                    Like

                    • EEEP!!! Really?! That is so exciting!!!!! Ooooooh! That is going to be so cool once you’re able to finish and post it!!! I cannot wait to read!!!

                      They really are. XD
                      Ugh, I am all of the jealous! I’m still working on this Christmas present. XD But I’m enjoying the creative process, so I guess that’s a win, yes? XD Ew. Fixing timeline issues is one of the worst… :((( *gives you cookies for motivation and encouragement*

                      EEP, thank you!!! I hope I can finish them soon… That’d be wonderful! XD AND YES!!! ALL OF THE WRITING!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

                      Liked by 1 person

  2. So cool! I didn’t really follow your advice, and I read both of them at the same time, and I kind of liked it that way actually. Sometimes I would have to go back to double check what the previous line was, but it made enough sense. When I read it at the same time, I felt like the hopeful poem was just this big thing and it was overpowering the dark one, but the dark one was like this constant undertone… I don’t know. It was interesting. I also liked how they both combined at the end with that one line, I felt like that finished it off with a big bang. Plus this line from your talking:

    I write fiction and fantasies to escape from this world, but I write poetry to battle it.

    I feel like that is so true! Anyways, happy Christmas season!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh my word, Kirsten!!!!! This comment is so wonderful and you are so wonderful and just ACK!!! *hugs* I was pretty much just confuddled when I tried to read it that way, but SERIOUSLY THAT IS SO COOL!! I’m kind of frightened at how well these poems just sort of fit together now, though… XD I guess they were just meant to be formatted this way! XD AWWW!!! Thank you so much!!! I loved the ending. It was probably the most fun to write, actually. When I discovered how the last lines of the poems would fit together, I got super excited and pretty much just fell in love with that ending line, so I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, TOO, EEP!!! <333

      YES!!! Poetry is just a lot more REAL for me, so whenever I need to try and process things, I go to poetry. Fiction is more of my "fun-zone". XD I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS!!! *hugs* And EEK! HAPPY CHRISTMAS SEASON TO YOU, TOO!!! (I am so excited for Christmas… XD) Thank you so much for this comment!!! I want to try and read them together again now… XD

      Like

  3. Oops! I forgot, I wanted to tell you about this one thing. I read this one book (the Lifeblood Series, I believe…?) and the main girl would always write these random poems. She kind of did what you did but not exactly. She would write her poems in reverse. So if you read it the regular way, it would be depressing, and if you read it from bottom to top, it would be happier. For Example:

    Never mind. I was going to make you an example but it’s a lot harder than I thought. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh!!! Oh!!!! I think I’ve seen some poems like that!!! I SHOULD TRY THIS. XD And I should also read this book series because A GIRL WHO WRITES BACKWARDS POEMS???? Yes, please!!!

      Haha! This will probably be my exact response if ever I try to do a poem like this!! 😂😂😂

      Like

    • Oh my word!!!! Gail!!! Thank you SO much, you wonderful bean!!! Haha! It would seem as if the majority of people have not followed the Great Kenzie’s advice!!! XD But it seems like it still reads well when you read it together??? So I AM CONTENT. 😂 EEEP!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!!! <333 *hugs!!!*

      Like

  4. YOU ARE SO CRAZY TALENTED I JUST CAN’T EVEN WITH YOU.

    So I read them together and liked it that way… Because one is in bold and one is light, it reminded me of two voices. One loud and one softer sand whispering a slightly different echo of what the first voice said.

    Anywho. I was expecting it to be Raven-y because you said it might be but it actually reminded med of Fairly Local by Twenty One Pilots?? (Possibly because of the title…) In that song, Tyler does this thing where he flips the verse to make it more hopeful: “repeat yesterday’s dance/avoid yesterday’s dance.” He does that a lot actually… In the song Not Today, too. ;)))

    And not to brag (because this poem was amazing) but it kind of transported me back to when I was younger and I just couldn’t seem to STOP writing poetry. I guess I was in a lot of pain and that was my outlet… My poems were like the bold Not Today… Unfortunately, now that I’m in a healthier place, all my poems have dried up. :)))

    One last thing. Please know that if you are ever feeling down, you can talk to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • AWWWWWWW!!! YOU ARE FAR TOO KIND AND AMAZING HELP. *hugs* <333

      APPARENTLY NOBODY LISTENS TO ME ANYMORE. 😂😂😂 But seriously, I should try reading it together a second time??? I guess I didn't give it enough of a chance the first time through??? I mean, when I wrote it, I did try to strike parallels between the two, but I didn't think it would actually blend well together. And YES! I think I was going for voices! I mean, usually it's my inner voices that I'm trying to get down, but this time the voices were a little deeper than my own. #creepy

      Haha! I was actually joking about the Raven thing. 😂😂 There is no way on earth I could ever write a poem as classic as The Raven, however hard I may try. 😂😂😂 OH WELL. I do my best. XD And OH MY WORD!!! Firstly, I didn't know Twenty One Pilots had a song called Not Today???? (I STOLE THEIR SONG THIS IS TERRIBLE. 😂😂😂) Secondly, EEP! Twenty One Pilots is AMAZING and the fact that my smol little poem reminded you of them is just ASDFGHJKL!!! HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!! 😂 And thirdly, that is so COOL! I must definitely look up these songs now. I wanna hear how they flipped the verses!! That is so unique!

      Oh no!!!! :((( I am so sorry to hear that! I mean, writing poems can be a ton of fun, but they usually are written when we are sad or need to process the world or, as you said, in pain. And that is never a fun place to be in. :((( So I am so sorry you had to go through that!!!! It IS unfortunate that your poems have dried up, but definitely not unfortunate in the least that you're in a healthier place now!!! That is ALWAYS a good thing!!! <333 And you could NEVER brag, you smol marshmallow bean!!! In fact, you don't brag about your talents near enough!! You are far too talented to NOT talk about your amazingness!!!

      Oh my word, Kate. You seriously have NO idea how much that means to me. <333 Thank you SO much.

      Like

  5. Ok, hahaha… ha… after reading everyone’s comments and seeing that most people did what I did, I’ve made up my mind to ‘fess. Soo… I didn’t exactly read everything you said before the poem, and so I ended up reading both sides of the poem at the same time… hehe… but it worked!! I found it really hilarious how you’d read one verse of the bolded poem, and then read a verse from the other poem and one would completely contradict the other, and yet have very similar words! I just find it really amazing how you can take the same idea, the same words, the same thought, and just by adding a few more words or simply arranging them differently, you can create two completely different feelings!!

    Anyways, you did a really good job with this split poem! This is actually the first time I’ve seen a poem done this way, and I really like it!!!! <3

    Liked by 1 person

    • NOBODY LISTENS TO THE GREAT AND POWERFUL KENZIE ANYMORE!!! *distant cackling* I can use this to my advantage, it would seem… 😂😂😂 EEP! I am so glad you liked it!! And also that the poems work no matter which way you read it. That’s a relief… AWWWWWWW! Thank you so much, Anna!!!! That is exactly what I was going for! Two different perspectives and reactions to the same situation!! There are always two ways a situation can go, always depending on how we look at it, and I really wanted to try and capture that.

      EEP! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Ooh, really? I thought that maybe it was an actual thing that people do, and I was just kind of creating a rip off version. 😂😂😂 I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!!! 💗💗💗

      Liked by 1 person

      • Everybody’s against you now, Kenzie! :P Yes, exactly! Either you can look at something with the pessimistic eye, or you could look at it from the optimistic view. And you captured that really well! :)

        You’re welcome!! Oh, I don’t know, I don’t really read that much poetry nowadays, so I wouldn’t really know, haha!! :) <3 <3 <3

        Like

        • You know, they truly are. XD Oh my word, thank you so much!!!! *hugs* Awwwww!!!

          Yeah, I don’t really READ a whole lot of poetry, but I’m hoping to! Poetry’s sort of begun speaking to me in weird ways, so perhaps I’ll be reading and writing a lot more of it in the future. XD (although I’m ALWAYS going to be writing books. obviously. XD)

          Like

          • XD
            Do it!!! Wish I could say the same for me, actually. Poetry and I have a very weird relationship. Sometimes I’ll be like, “Oh, I should write a poem to go in this post,” but normally poetry just isn’t my thing. But it is very nice reading! :)

            Liked by 1 person

            • Ha! Well, that depends on if I actually do do it. (haha… do do… XD ) I’m pretty bad at sitting down to read poetry. But I WANT to!!! Haha, yessss! I totally understand that! Sometimes I’m in the writing poetry mood, and sometimes I’m just. . .not. Really, really NOT. XD I do love reading other bloggers’ poetry, though!! It’s awesome to see everyone’s talent for different types of writing.

              Liked by 1 person

Leave a Comment

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.