In Which the YouTube Channel Lives and Dies

good morning, cyberspace!

So…. Hi again! It’s me, Mario, returned from the dead! The past two weeks have been extremely taxing (emotionally, physically, mentally, ect.), but holy guacamole and cheddar is it good to be on the other side of them now. The last time I was on the blogosphere, I told y’all that I was starting a YouTube Channel! And so I did. It feels wonderful to actually have just done it after thinking about it for so long, especially when the fear of failure was so extreme.

And let me tell ya, folks. The imposter syndrome is real on the YouTube. I can tell you that much.

Buuuuuut, as with all things, I have quickly discovered a downside to this lovely thing called vlogging. Actually a few downsides. And today I’d like to talk about them! Because… well… I’ve decided that–right now–being a part of the YouTube community just doesn’t float my boat.

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Life & Other Disasters! – an update

good morning, cyberspace!

So! Some of you might have noticed that I have not posted for a couple weeks. This was in no way supposed to happen, and I am really quite sorry that it did. However, as I am sure you will come to see in the next few paragraphs, life has been a little funky lately, friends. XD It’s in no way a bad thing–actually, two out of the three major circumstances are really quite good! But as it is, sometimes life prevents us from doing the things which we love.

Fortunately, the things we love have a way of sticking around until we can make it back to them.

So! Today, in leu of the fact that I don’t currently have a super amazingly epic blog post lurking around my drafts folder waiting to be posted, I’d thought I’d give a smidgen of a writing/life update!

Because clearly y’all love hearing me ramble, yes?

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LIFE (and other disasters of similar quality)

Soo. Where have I been, you might be wondering? Where could I–the great and powerful Kenzie–have disappeared off to for two whole entire weeks? (the horror!)

The answer, my friends, is really quite wonderful:

I went on a writing retreat! And technically it was a virtual writing retreat, which … you know … means I didn’t even have to leave my couch. so the fact that this kept me from blogging is entirely irrelevant *cough* but I MUST POINT OUT that during this writing retreat, I was simultaneously having a series of the worst weeks of 2021! So like?? I feel like I should get some slack there, yes? It’s really difficult for me to be productive and creative when my IRL existence is in shambles and crumbling down around me, but I digress. Life moves on, I discovered some really amazing writing advice from the curators of the writing retreat, and here I am today to tell you all about my progress in both my WIP (project goblin, for those keeping score), and my real life! (more on both of these things below).

But first, I want to tell you guys the reason that I missed a post for this specific Tuesday. Because technically the writing retreat ended last weekend, so I should have had plenty enough time to draft something. But I sorta kinda completely blew off writing a blog post for Tuesday to … er … go to a trampoline park?

…and then I completely busted up my ankle. While bouncing on a trampoline. At said trampoline park.

I didn’t say I was proud of it, okay? XD

So Tuesday after work, instead of following my initial plan to sketch up a blog post and throw it onto the internet, I decided to spend the evening with a whole gang of coworkers and friends. It was a jolly, high-energy time which I’m SO thankful for, but then, towards the end of the night when we were all beginning to crave Chick-Fil-A, I took a leap of faith on one final trampoline, stumbled, tripped, and face-planted into a giant foam mattress that completely absorbed me into its comforting embrace.

And suddenly there was an intense burning sensation in my left ankle.

Fast forward to today (Friday night), and I’m sitting on the couch sporting a deliciously galaxy-like bruise and questioning not only my sanity, but the sanity of anyone who dares enter a trampoline park.

And yet? I have no regrets, my friends. Absolutely none at all. XD #noregerts (except, you know, for the GIANT BRUISE ON MY ANKLE. But like it’s fine. I had fun. 10/10 will not be going back.)

But yeah, that’s about it for the life update! There are some Other Things going on behind the scenes that I don’t feel quite comfortable talking about yet (nothing but good things, of course!), but to give a conclusion on that aforementioned terrible series of weeks I experienced recently, I’ve been on the receiving end of God’s grace and His everlasting kindness the past couple weeks, and everything that was piling up around me to the point of near-suffocation has–despite all odds–been completely flipped on its head. Life is good. My heart is full. My foot looks like the backdrop for a wormhole.

I’m happy, guys. I’m really, really happy.

And also slightly in pain.

And now, on to the writing update!

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WRITING (Behind The Scenes of Project Goblin)

Okay, so this is something that I’m EXTREMELY excited to talk about, guys! I don’t have a whole lot to share right now (bummer), but I do have a lot of excitement for this story and where it’s headed!

I think the last substantial update I gave for The Girl and The Goblin King had something to do with my revelation/breakthrough, in which I discovered that this story had a slight Wizard of Oz vibe to it. Now, a month or so and 12 chapters later, I’ve finally reached a spot in this novel that I had yet to reach.

My friends, lords and ladies, children and hobgoblins–we have officially reached the hall of the goblin king.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for YEARS now. Never in all my rewrites, in all of my drafts, in all of my half-finished NaNo’s, have I gotten to the goblin king’s castle. Never. Not even once.

And yet….here we are. Technically I haven’t exactly stepped foot into the castle yet, but rest assured that this will be happening tonight. I have a wee bit of writer’s block at the moment from this being such a momentous occasion in the drafting of this novel, but the good news is that since I know the cause (MOMENTOUS OCCASION, YEET!), I know exactly how to fix it.

…just keep writing.

And since I’ve got a bum leg and a Saturday of doing nothing before me, I have a vaguely good feeling about what I’m going to be working on over the weekend. XD

Aside from the fact that we have now entered the hall of the goblin king, I’d also like to mention that my main terror child, Annalora, has decided to completely shut me out. She won’t talk to me–or even look at me, for that matter–but this is all fine and dandy since Todd has decided to become my new best friend. He’s a nervous mess, and apparently becoming a nervous mess about potential death and hallucinatory nightmares is enough to crack him open and get him talking? To be honest, I’ll take it. Annalora I can fix in a later draft. Todd is the man carrying this story at the moment, and I kinda need my leading guy to develop some sort of a personality within the first draft.

But I digress. Of more notable quality, Todd’s sanity is slowly whirlpooling down the drain, my walking tree got left behind because he couldn’t fit inside a tiny secret passage, and WE HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED MY CREEPY TRIPLET BOYS!!

I’m probably most excited about that, quite frankly. My triplets are some of the most disturbing creatures I’ve ever dreamed up, and getting to flesh them out further on the page has been an experience. I’m not sure they’re quite up to par with the vision living inside my head, but you know what? This is a first draft. It’s allowed to be a little subpar every now and then!

As far as wordcount goes, I am very, very behind on my goals for June, but my progress through the story has been so substantial recently that I can’t bring myself to be disappointed. Currently, I’m deciding to focus on scenes rather than wordcounts. It seems a little less harsh on my mentality towards writing, and though I may not be progressing as quickly as I want to be, I know that I’m filling out these chapters in a way that feels right. Every book is different, I guess, and for right now, slow and steady is how this book is demanding to be written.

I do–as I might have mentioned previously–have a hard deadline for this book, but as of right now I’m not going to be sharing it anywhere on cyberspace. It’s not only a protection for my own sanity, but also to keep me from stressing about breaking yet another goal deadline in front of everyone on the internet. XD But rest assured that you will all know the moment the first draft of this book is completed! I am extremely excited to have the first draft of Project Goblin FINALLY under my belt, and though it might take a little longer than initially expected, I’m pushing forward with everything I have, and am determined to complete this manuscript before the year is out…!

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talk to me, peasants!

And that, my friends, about sums up my life update for today! Personal injuries, fun writing plans, and a whole slew of messy life-ish-ness… I gotta say, this year is really shaping up to be quite the whirlwind. But that’s quite enough about me! Tell me something about YOU!

Have you ever blown off writing priorities to spend a night with friends? Are you working on anything special during the beginning of these glorious summer months? What is the WORST injury you’ve ever sustained as a human? (not gonna lie–this one is ranking uip there)

Let’s talk about ALL OF THE THINGS! down in the comments below! And until next time…

*flings cookies in the air and disappears*

One More Week

There is so much I want to tell you, Cyberspace. So, so much has been happening in my life–which is probably why you haven’t been seeing me around here very much lately–but I’m finally ready to come back and tell you.

I’m ready to share some news with you.

But it will have to wait for one more week.

I’m Back, Peasants!

good morning, cyberspace!

Well, well, well. What have we here? ’tis I! The Kenzie Bean! Returning from a long, prosperous hiatus that may or may not have been far more exhausting than if I hadn’t taken any hiatus at all.

tired my bed GIF
^^ this is literally me. always.

Can I just point out that doing five billion things in one single month is not, as a matter of fact, a very good idea. It’s actually rather exhausting. 10/10 do not recommend.

But today is not a day for me to rant about all of the many things I’ve been trying and failing to get accomplished. Today is a day for announcing. Because hoo boy, do I have some big announcements for you all today!

Two big announcements, actually, and the one we’re starting with is the one that is most exciting for you.Read More »

Goodbye, Cyberspace! (i’m going on hiatus)

Happy December, Cyberspace!

Well, folks, I’m just going to cut right to the chase this morning: I’m going on a hiatus. I should probably have mentioned this last month, but writing 50,000 words for NaNo and blogging throughout the month of November (if you can even call that blogging?) has left me creatively drained. And, as every elf knows, a month filled with merry-making and Christmas-cookie-eating is the absolute best way to fill myself back up again!Read More »

A Special Announcement. . .

good morning, cyberspace!

To be honest, this is a blog post that I’ve been putting off for a very long time. I knew I would have to write it eventually, but between writing everlost and the overall busyness of the past couple months, I just haven’t found the time to sit down and write this post in the way that it deserves to be written.

And that’s not even mentioning the overwhelming flood of anxiety that grapples my mind every time I even so much as think about writing this post. This is something that’s very close to my heart, guys, and I know there are some of you out there who are going to believe it’s fake. There are some who are going to think it’s a joke because of certain circumstances of the past. There are some of you who are going to read this and laugh it off because it can’t possibly be real, right?

But I can personally assure you that it is real. It is true, and today, there are no more excuses for not saying it. There are no more methods of procrastination to keep me from writing this post.

So today I am finally baring my soul to you guys and telling you all what on earth has been happening in this crazy, hectic, absolutely beautiful life of mine.

And let me tell you what, folks. It’s a doozy.Read More »